We want change, and we don’t. We want to grow, and we don’t. We want to learn, and we don’t. We want to heal, and sometimes, we don’t.
We take two steps forward, one back. Sometimes one forward, two back.
Can you relate?
Such is what is means to be human. Or so I’ve begun to understand over 20 plus years of seeing what we call resistance, or, the counter life force, in action.
Resistance appears to be an omnipresent, universal aspect of the human condition. I see it in myself, and I don’t believe I’ve ever encountered a single person within the therapeutic frame that didn’t come up against this innate force, in ways small or large, at some point in their effort to resolve and grow through whatever ails.
Want a glaring example? Addiction. For addiction, we could argue, is the embodiment of the counter life force having taken complete hold and driving the bus to the darkest, most destructible end possible sans successful intervention.
The beauty here, should you accept this premise as I do, is that acceptance begets change.
As the great Carl Gustav Jung was known to have said, “anything we wish to change we must first accept.” I would suggest further that this truism is the basis of many ancient philosophies (Stoicism for sure), as well as modern and popular practices such as mindfulness, and therapies such as Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
The existence and function of resistance could be debated till the cows come home. I’ll just say that its a bit like the master emotion of shame. Typically, the more fiercely we deny it’s existence within us, the more of it we likely have. And it’s the bedrock of all self -defeating and self-sabotaging behavior, to be sure.
From the perspective of the beautifully holistic Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) model, and the Multiplicity of Mind philosophy from which it springs, we could look at resistance as not our essence, but simply a part of us. A part that, like all parts, have a positive intent and play a specific role on our Larger Self system. In this way of thinking, each part attempts to help us in the only way it knows how. Even if that way is directly counter to what we (Our Larger Self/True Self) is trying to accomplish.
There’s one version of the paradox of change right there!
And until that part is accepted (the prerequisite), recognized, engaged and understood for what it has been trying to do for us and why, it will simply keep on doing that which it’s been designed and conditioned to do. But, in this way of conceptualizing and working with our internal self system, we inevitably find that all parts—especially those that perform extreme functions—are tired. Tired of doing the same thing, the same way. When properly engaged, our parts invariably tell us that they are amenable to change; to updating their role and duty in the Self System.
Resistance can also be looked at more globally, even spiritually, in terms of the basic polarity and duality of what it means to be human. If we were born or incarnated here in earth school (my view) as perfectly whole, undivided souls, insofar as all life is experience-based learning and growing as we go via trial and error (no manual, right?), I would wonder, what would be the point? So I accept resistance as one facet of who we are. Not some aberration or accident of Divine design.
I really believe part of all our journey is learning how to contend with resistance, see it in action, dance with it, hold it, ride the dialectic between acquiescing and fighting; accepting and challenge it by creatively subverting, channeling, and ultimately transmuting the energy of resistance into that which serves us, others, and the world (the cognitive triad) best at any given point.
Speaking of transmuting energy, in essence, this is exactly what my ever-evolving energy psychology (ep), somatic, solution-focused approach called Subconscious Heal and Release aims to do. In using this healing method, our internal resistance naturally arises in the form of old traumas, limiting beliefs, and trapped emotional energies that hold us back and keep us out of alignment with whatever goal we’re working together to achieve. Its rooted in Multiplicity of Mind theory and the IFS method, but catapulted in its efficiency and accuracy via the Spiritual Science of the Spoken Word and my creative use of kinesiological muscle testing in concert with intuition/higher guidance.
As they say, there’s more than one way to skin a cat. (Poor kitty :<).
If you been considering or are looking for a Nashville Therapist or a Therapist in Franklin, or for that matter, if you’re open to meeting via Telehealth/Video from virtually anywhere in the world, visit me at Therapy Outside the Box for more info on my services, including which ones are available on a “coaching” or consultation basis worldwide. You can also call me directly at 615.430.2778, or email me at chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com to set up a FREE 20 MINUTE CLARITY CALL about how I can help you best!
Peace, Love, and Acceptance,
Chris