Much has been written already on the topic of spiritual bypassing. Not reinventing the wheel here for sure. But it’s been on my mind a lot lately. That’s usually a sign something’s wanting to come through about it. Let’s see what that is…
To my knowledge, the phenomenon was originally spotted (framed as Spiritual Materialism) by the Buddhist master Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche in his classic work Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism. And transpersonal writer and healing practitioner Robert Augustus Masters offered an honest treatment in his book Spiritual Bypassing: When Spirituality Disconnects Us from What Really Matters.
Masters also elsewhere humorously referred to spiritual bypassing as “Avoidance in Holy Drag.” I howled when I heard that.
In any case, Masters wrote:
“When transcendence of our personal history takes precedence over our intimacy with our personal history, spiritual bypassing is inevitable. To not be intimate with our past- to not be deeply and thoroughly acquainted with our conditioning and its originating factors keeps it undigested and unintegrated, and therefore very much present.”
Meanwhile, the term spiritual bypassing is said to have been actually coined by author and Buddhist meditation teacher John Wellwood in the 80’s who described it as:
“…a tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.”
Spiritual bypassing therefore a form of denial, describing the way that we can essentially deceive ourselves into using spirituality to separate us from honestly feeling our emotions, and employ various aspects of spirituality in defending and deflecting from our faults and shadows. So it’s essentially what the term implies— an [unconscious] attempt to spiritualize away our emotions, internal conflicts, maladaptive character traits, compulsions or addictions, or our larger physical and relational real world experience— the boots on the ground problems in living we all must contend with here in earth school.
While there’s really not much new to add definitionally, or descriptively, as with almost everything, there are differing lenses in which to view and attempt to understand it.
(Later, I’ll off a view through the lens of Multiplicity/Polypsychism).
I should note that some aligned with the new age/lightworker community have argued, perhaps rightly, that the term itself— especially when hoisted upon others— is merely a judgment. Nothing more. Fair. But that’s just the surface. The tip of the iceberg. Because insofar as all judgments of others are in essence projected self-judgement, and the identification and exploration of what’s being held in contempt and/or disowned (and therefore ripe for projection) is the entirely of the berg underneath the water line—and the where the real opportunity for healing and integration begins.
Composite case example: ‘The Penultimate Buddhist’
There’s an anecdote of one self-proclaimed staunch, militant Buddhist (as oxymoronic as that may seem). Someone who displayed a reflexive habit of frequently injecting their seriously spiritual Buddhist self-identity into all conversations, and developed a reputation over time for being sharply, harshly critical of others who claimed, practiced, or spoke about Buddhism in any manner they perceived to be somehow inferior (clue) to their [ungrounded, grandiose] image as the measuring stick of what it means to be a true or real Buddhist.
Long story short, sources would have it that one day someone of erudite status within the particular Buddhist tradition they aligned with spotted and pointed out this toxic trait directly to them. It was done so in a way that was compassionate yet direct, incisive yet fair, and that encouraged fearless self-examination and transmutational exorcism of the internal source of the apparent need to act as the self-appointed “Buddhism Police,” as evidenced by this compulsive ‘calling out’ others with a gross lack of compassion. Something especially curious given that cultivation and demonstration of compassion is such an essential, revered quality in the philosophy and practice of all schools of Buddhism.
It appeared, as the story goes, that this quantum karmic cause and effect schooling landed so hard that they soon after wholly renounced Buddhism, under the apparent guise of no longer needing to align with [i.e. ostensibly suddenly transcending] any formalized tradition, philosophy or school of thought, reverting to a pathless, generalized agnosticism of sorts. And while there’s merit and wisdom in any sincerely arrived position of ‘no middle man required,’ this is considered a textbook psychospiritual case study of shame-based, emotionally driven, hostile reactionary throwing out the baby/neurotic solution to the pain of imposter-like exposure; of being faced with and having to own years of long-projected shadow-driven bypass (and all that it was masking) in action.
Had there been just a wee bit of felt access to internal security in the tenuous sense of spiritual identity, and a modicum of pre-existing esteem and self-compassion, this would have been a golden, true awakening-level opportunity for transformation into a more genuinely secure, relaxed, flexible, life-affirming personal spiritual odyssey— one more stably aligned with Buddhist tradition and practices, the beginning of a quiet confidence, and probably more of a “live and let live” harmonious interplay with fellow spiritual travelers.
Though it may appear to be, this anecdote itself is no casting of judgment. Rather, an albeit extreme case illustration of the curious yet common ways in which many a spiritual aspirant—from the newbie to the ‘fully enlightened’ master guru— subtlety (or not so) can become seduced and ultimately captured by the insidious lure of spiritual bypassing— as a protective psycho-emotional phenomenon. Just think of the numerous master yogis and spiritual teachers accused and often found guilty of perpetrating abuse of power crimes, usually of a sexual nature, upon their own disciples. The complex thirst for power/domination, the lust impulse, our very own sexual nature, when denied/repressed (or “exiled”) with the support of both cultural and spiritual taboo, are common fodder for spiritualization bypass attempts. And unfortunately wakes of victims are behind to recover from the wreckage.
Now, we all deny shit. We all project. We’re hard-wired for it, it seems. And we all judge, on the thought level at least. Full stop. And haven’t we’ve all engaged in at least a little though doth protest too much behavior, that which thinly veils— until it fails and ultimately reveals— our underlying self-doubt and insecurity in reference to that which is being so hotly protested?
Sometimes our projections and judgments latch on to the most unlikely of things, appearing in the most paradoxical, even downright *seemingly hypocritical of ways. Reinforcing once again, our utter humanity, including that which may be so ornately adorned in “holy drag” cannot mask forever. *And I say seemingly, because all hypocrisy, all hypocritical positions and attitudes existing within a person can be understood and reconciled when viewed simply as parts or subpersonalities maintaining extreme, polarized positions within the individual Self-System. (More on this later).
As one of my early professors taught, absolutely anything and everything can be used as a mechanism of defense; of self-protection. Even spirituality, spiritual identity, spiritual allegiance, spiritual pursuit, spiritual status, spiritual attainment, spiritual accomplishment— right down to the most simple, private spiritual practices themselves.
personal example
During the first wave of my spiritual emergence from the murky depths of my Dark Night of the Soul experience some years back, not long after the blistering energetic darkness-piercing Violet Flame infusion I received from my apparent Ascended Master gateway guide during a surrender-fueled meditation one day, I started to recognize that a part of me was trying desperately to latch on and ride that wave of bliss right into unearned, unintegrated transcendence, never to have to be bothered with the workaday world again.
In fact, the first video podcast I did (on a platform that no longer exists), when I went back and watched, showed it to me starkly. I was excited, riding the wave. And while coherent, I was clearly not fully grounded, half in the clouds. In a state of what in Transpersonal Psychology would be called ‘Transpersonal Elation.’ A bypass attempt on the part of some part of me was in full force effect.
Three years and many more mystical events and happenings notwithstanding, here I am. Still in the body. Awaken-ing, but far from enlightened. Just living, loving, consulting, providing therapy, receiving therapy, succeeding, failing, boxing training, communing with nature, meditating, surrendering, decreeing and initiating each and every day. Waxing on, waxing off. And better for it. Because, there is no bypass. No shortcuts. No ultimately successful ones anyway.
The longer we remain in the grips of a part of us bent on bypassing our normal everyday pain, responsibilities, normal human needs and desires, the heavier the lifting on the other side. And the longer the road to the heightened self-awareness, peace, emergence, transcendence, transformation, Shangri-La, or wherever it is we most hope for.
These are the kinds of things I help people with, along with psychedelic preparation and integration (important to avoid bypassing-ready parts of ourselves!) and the exploration and integration of all manner of mystical and non-ordinary experiences in my Spiritual Support specialty called Support for Extraordinary Experience (SEE).
signs and signals
How do we know if we are, or at risk of, spiritual bypassing?
On the most obvious surface level, maybe by and through the level of ferocity, rigidity or righteousness with respect to our spiritual views, practices, or identity. The more fierceness, humorless seriousness, the more inflexibility, defensiveness, need to explain, pronounce and proclaim, the more social imaging, grandstanding, sense of specialness and/or to the degree we become intolerant of others who may question, think, act or believe differently, the more there is, likely, bypassing at play.
Likewise, the more we might be ungrounded, not in our body/disembodied, floating up above it all, tending toward denying and discounting our worldly day to day needs, and striving to literally transcend [rather than befriend, integrate, transmute] our human faults, frailties, sensitivities, foibles, and problems— we might be well on the way to the airy fairly bypass express train, only to arrive at gate number rude awakening.
How else might we know?
For sure, through our projections. Our judgements. Specifically, by what we’re hotly reactive to in and about others.
An old saying in recovery is if you spot it you got it. More to the point, if you spot it and you’re immediately and intensely reactive to it, ya probably got it. Meaning what we’re reactive to is ours denied. Our issue being projected.
We are crazy, complex creatures, are we not?
modern spin
I look at many things through the lens of Multiplicity of Mind/Personality. This is the philosophical and psychological perspective that we are, paradoxically, both one and many; that we all have a Self (i.e. Larger Self, Authentic Self, True Self) and subpersonalities, or parts, as we call it in Internal Family Systems Therapy, or IFS.
Historically this view has been grossly misunderstood, stigmatized and psychiatrically pathologized. Fortunately, that’s changing, albeit slowly.
In any case, some parts are young, vulnerable child parts (exiles). Some are protectors (managers) of those young parts and our Larger Self. Other parts (firefighters) snap us into extreme action (dissociation, substance abuse, spending sprees, compulsive spending, etc) when our internal systems threatens emotional overload, so to speak. (In our case example above, a ‘firefighter’ part likely would have initiated the face-saving denouncement of Buddhism, ostensibly in a effort to keep the extreme burdens and beliefs that young, vulnerable exiled parts were carrying from overwhelming the system, that normal protector parts were beginning to fail in their task of keeping exiled).
In IFS, anything that’s not the Self (characterized by the qualities of calmness, clarity, curiosity, compassion, creativity, connectedness, and courage, for example) is a part. Meaning, when we feel much of the energy of Self, then our Self is driving the bus. When we feel a lot of anything other than qualities of Self (anger, shame, anxiety, sadness, etc), then the exiled part of us carrying those burdens for us are driving the bus, obscuring our sense of Self, and therefore, our connection and embodiment of our seat of consciousness, soul, or true spiritual core.
So can a part— a protective part of us— hijack our however otherwise innocent and pure spiritual intent, behavior, practices, or spiritually-based worldly identity in the service of protecting us from encountering another part of us that’s carrying a heavy load of something unpleasant, or inducing us to engage a behavior that would be say contrary to our idealized spiritual identity? You bet. And this is often precisely the internal psychic mechanism behind the bypass itself.
But our parts are not to blame. All parts are just doing their job. In fact, in this way of thinking, nothing and no one is to blame.
‘no bad parts’ / ‘all parts welcome’
This stance is what I love about the IFS model and approach. It takes this stance unapologetically and without exception that there are no bad parts of us. Of anyone. Just parts whose pain, burdens, and roles in the psyche/system are not yet understood. Parts who may be frozen in time, playing extremely polarized roles within the system, and performing extreme protective functions, even in highly destructive ways.
But no matter what a part feels, believes, or is trying to do for us (always a positive intent) they are essentially good. Once accessed and once their story is told, all parts and what they’re trying to do ultimately makes sense. Then they can be helped to unload the burdens of the old pain and beliefs they carry and be guided in adopting new, more up to date roles in our system in service of the Larger Self.
Such as in the case example cited above, a part that has initiated spiritual bypass with the hopes of steering us clear of other parts carrying serious pain can, like any part, be helped to unload, take on a more functional, harmonious role with other parts as well. That way, the spiritual pursuit, and spiritual practices can be more cleanly engaged in the service of grounded transpersonal awareness, awake-ness and integrated elevation.
Are YOU seeking to cut through your spiritual roadblocks? Have you recognized a tendency toward spiritual bypassing, or a pattern of avoidance in general on a level that’s thwarting your larger growth goals? Take heart! These are just parts of you trying to protect and help you (albeit not in the most big-picture helpful way). Let’s get to know them, help them unburden, and take on newer roles aligned with Self.
If you’re seeking an integrative, transpersonal, psychospiritually-oriented Nashville Therapist, or a Therapist in Franklin, or, if you’d like to consult with me via Telehealth-Video from virtually anywhere, visit me at: Therapy Outside the Box … or email me at: chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com …or call me directly @ 615.430.2778.
Peace, Love, and Spiritual Integration,
Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP
Franklin, TN