My growing interest in the human trafficking epidemic, in conjunction with my awareness of two local organizations on the front line of this issue (www.freeforlifeintnl.org and www.endslaverytn.org) recently led me to a webinar on the intersection of human trafficking and addiction—co-hosted by the director of FFLI and representatives of a local sober living transitional housing non-profit called Healing Housing (www.healing housing.org).
Toward the end of the webinar, one of the reps of Healing Housing described as their mission statement helping women “Turn Pain Into Purpose.”
Sounds like practical alchemy to me, so it got my attention!
Thus is the inspiration for this post.
divine vetting?
By the time I heard this, I had already contacted Healing Housing about potentially offering a pro bono slot to one of their residents. (We have a Zoom call on the calendar!). So by the time I went back to the webinar recording and heard them describe their mission this way, it only made it feel more aligned and glad I followed the impulse.
Yet it’s not the first time I followed intuition in this area.
Years back, attending a local TEDX event, I heard the director of End Slavery TN deliver a powerful talk on human trafficking. I was stunned to realize how prevalent it is right here in Middle Tennessee. Feeling called, I contacted them soon after, but at that time their training and minimum requirement of time for volunteering in any capacity far exceeded what I had available with a busy full time therapy practice. Just wasn’t meant to be.
Having become aware of FFLI this past year, I’ve been reaching out to them, but for whatever reasons we’ve not connected.
After two failed starts, so to speak, might have been easy to conclude it’s not in the cards for me to get involved with this issue. That certainly crossed my mind. But I know better. Or, I believe differently. And the law of life is the law of belief, taught Dr. Joseph Murphy.
How I look at it is that when you get a true intuition— a body-based spark of highest excitement, of being called to take action on something, no matter how small or large, it cannot be by mistake. It’s no accident.
But…perhaps there’s a vetting process, courtesy of the Universe, to test your commitment, your mettle, or both. Or perhaps, it’s the Goldilocks rule in action. Too hot. Too cold. Just right. Or, it’s just timing. Divine timing.
Either way, I’ve learned to implicitly trust that when we recognize and choose to answer the call of something that truly feels right, that comes from the soul level, The Divine will do the rest. It knows exactly where it wants us; when it wants us there, what part we’re meant to play, and why. I mean, my whole life and everything of value in it seems to be a living testament to this. So how could I see it otherwise? Ans for that, as they say down here in the South, I am blessed.
So I’m looking forward to seeing what I may get to do with this organization that works in conjunction with those on the front lines of human trafficking.
Okay, on to:
Pain Into Purpose
As I make clear elsewhere on this site, I’m quite fond of the old Rumi saying:
“The cure for pain is in the pain.”
I find deep wisdom in this on every level- literal/physical, psychological/emotional, relational, metaphorical, spiritual/metaphysical.
Again using my own life as example, it was my deep emotional and psychological pain that led me to therapy first, in my mid twenties. Pursuing music professionally at the time, and struggling with it on just about every front, suffice to say that at the first glimpse of therapeutically-assisted relief from the depths of my then broken heart and deep insecurity-based depression, I was struck with an unmistakable awareness that healing work, in some capacity, was (in) my future. Right there, in a flash, I was on my way toward sublimating, or alchemizing my anguish into purpose in my mind and heart. Although (the) music (industry) was not quite done with teaching me what it had to teach, for better or worse. So it would be a few years more in germination.
No accident there either.
While such inspirations don’t always come about so instantaneously, or clearly, provided we are inclined and open to the wisdom that the cure is indeed to be found within the problem/pain, and insofar as we are in search of true purpose, we will find it.
Or it will find us.
miracle question
I’m well aware that in this current global climate—pandemic, social and political tension, and all the uncertainly as to where we are headed economically, societally, culturally, spiritually, and otherwise, turning pain into purpose for many would appear to be a luxury.
For sure, it is a higher stage pursuit in the Hierarchy of Needs (Maslow)—up above essential basic needs for food, clothing and shelter, safety and security, love and belonging, and genuine self-esteem.
Yet thinking back over my 20+ years as a therapist, it’s fascinating to remember how often I’ve seen others (more frequently back when I worked in the community-based sector) spontaneously discover the seeds of their potential/larger purpose while deep in the throes of tackling the bare bones practical pitfalls and challenges of life in the foundational stages.
Although we may turn away from them temporarily, whether out of necessity, fear, or disbelief, in my experience such seeds tend not to be forgotten.
This is one reason I’m fond of asking new clients, sooner rather than later, the old Siddha Veda question:
“What would you be or do if you had 100 million in the bank, 6 months to live, and you knew you couldn’t fail?”
This is my favorite version of a miracle question.
I always write down the response. And it’s astonishing how often I might even consciously forget about it until sometime later during the therapy the person will touch on something that reminds me of their answer (that they’ve sometimes completely ‘forgotten’).
The synchronicity of timing will often strike us both. Meaning, how the sparking of the memory of the then-given answer lines up perfectly with the person’s life having just recently arrived at a point where such considerations are ripe for exploration, if not full-on action planning.
Darkness my old friend
After 51 years of life on earth and 20 + years of therapy (both personally and professionally), I’ve come to view painful dark periods— whether they be days, weeks, months or full on seasons, as necessary recharges. Macro-level inspirational and imaginal reboots equivalent to turning off the lights to go to sleep each night. Even clinical depression, like the major episode in my twenties that led me to start therapy and is no doubt the seed that sprouted into how and why you’re reading this now. While often necessitating more serious attention and treatment, even the darkest clinical episodes can be viewed accordingly. (I’m far from the first to espouse this).
My own life altering Dark Night of the Soul experience a few years back, one many years in the making, is another example. It touched down exactly right on time as knee-bending shut down/reboot experience I so desperately needed to turn further toward my mounting internal unrest. It was a call to both compassionately and critically examine all that was no longer serving and working and awaken further to my next life-stage related life purpose-path. And no coincidence that it arrived right at the mid-life mark!
While I arguably lost my mind temporarily, and could have lost much else that I love and value so greatly had I mishandled it (any more than I did), what I gained was invaluable. A Divinely-granted dose of madness that led to a total life re-evaluation and eventual “rebranding” of Chris Hancock, LCSW to Therapy Outside the Box, among other things.
I’m still Chris Hancock. Still an LCSW. And proud of all that’s was attempted and accomplished under that mostly “inside the box” moniker.
But now all the rest of who I am (woo woo and “out there” elements, including the emergence of a heightened intuitive/claircognizant/clairsentient ability and becoming a channel included) has been embraced, owned, and more or less put out there. To honor this, I now work in the spirit(ually)-guided way I was always destined for— right down to turning to higher guidance to tell me at the outset whether it is in the highest and best good of all for me to take on as a client anyone who contacts me. It’s difficult when it’s a “no.” But I trust it. No question.
And there was no mistake here in either timing, function, method or purpose of my “breakdown/through.”
How do I know?
In short, because I’m at peace. I feel truly whole. Because the unparalleled joy, excitement and fulfillment I now experience in each important area of my life is unprecedented in my lifetime. And the spare energy I now have to look ahead and into news way of getting involved and potentially helping many more Turn Pain Into Purpose is more than one man can ask.
That’s also why, in my view, the interest described above that inspired this post, one many years in the making, finally seems to be manifesting.
reach out
If YOU are seeking a Nashville Therapist or a Therapist in Franklin, and would benefit from a different kind of approach to life’s challenges and alchemizing YOUR pain into purpose, you might be a good fit for my Integrative Counseling approach.
Visit me at Therapy Outside the Box from more info about my services, or feel free to email me at chris@therapyoutsidethebox or call me at 615.430.2778.
Some of my services are available on a consultation/coaching basis via Telehealth/Video virtually the world over.
Happy Valentines Day.
Peace, love, and Transmutation of Pain Into Purpose,
Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP
Franklin, TN