Transpersonal IFS, Synchronicity, & 'Compassionate Depossession' PT1

I had a wild and undeniably synchronistic last week of Therapy Outside the Box. It came to head in a session which I’ll detail in PT 2, after some more processing. In the meantime I’ll set the stage, and try to present this in layman’s language as much as possible.

On that note, a few definitions of terms:

INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEM THERAPY (IFS)—A revolutionary, de-pathologizing, compassionate, shamanic-based, comprehensive therapy, life practice, and spiritual path. I discovered IFS in 2006 and have been studying and practicing it on and off ever since. At this point, with how the model has evolved, and its natural crossover with the shamanic and transpersonal and my own unfolding spiritual odyssey, I’m all in. Anyhow, IFS views our inner system/psyche as naturally multiple; both one and many, made up of 1) A core Self—the undamaged, eternal, infinitely whole healing essence within all of us, as has been written about in the great spiritual traditions for an eon. And 2) Parts (aka subpersonalities). Parts become psychically separated from the Self, mainly as a result of trauma and attachment wounds early on. Some parts carry old pain and extreme beliefs (called burdens in IFS) while others inhabit managerial roles to protect both the Self and the vulnerable parts from being exposed to more hurt. The larger goal of IFS is harmony amongst our parts, unburdening the pain and extreme beliefs our vulnerable parts carry, relieving our protective parts of the need to hyper-protect and take on newer, more updated roles, and increased trust in the Self to lead.

The qualities of Self (The 8 C’s) are: calm, curiosity, courage, confident, compassion, clarity, creativity, and connectedness.

An important ‘off-label’ concept in IFS—central to what this post series is about— is the concept of unattached burdens. These are considered to be something ‘other.’ Not originally parts of us, but things, constructs, energies— entities of unknow origin, and for all we know vast, multiple varieties. These are entities that become attached to the person (on the etheric body level I believe) with the permission of a part or parts, usually in times of extreme trauma, distress, or vulnerability resulting from overt abuse, surgery, or near-death experiences.

According to IFS lead trainer Robert Falconer, who specializes in releasing unattached burdens, these entities persuade [parts of us] to allow entrance with the promise of power to the powerless, or power in times of helplessness. We’ll get more into this with the case example to follow in PT 2. For now, note the synchronistic Divine Timing of my recent exploration into this territory, culminating in the case example to come.

You can’t make this shit up. Well, I guess you can. But no need when it happens on its own for real.

Back to definition of terms:

COMPASSIONATE DEPOSSESSION—A neo-shamanic term coined by a buddhist-trained shamanic practitioner named Betsy Bergstrom who developed this modern, non-adversarial approach to dealing with all forms of attached suffering beings. This type of spirit-release work can include the depossession of so-called ‘demonic,’ shadow beings, and extra-terrestrial (ET) entities. It’s a kinder, gentler, no-drama way of helping a spirit move towards the light. In this view, if a person who has experienced soul loss or other serious traumas have become a host to suffering beings or entities, these beings may live off of that person's energy and influence them in a variety of ways. Illness, depression, substance abuse, phobias, emotional problems, suicidal tendencies and other issues may be in part due to the influence or overshadowing of entities that have attached to the person. These beings may be people whose own experience at the time of death has become compromised in such a way that they did not successfully make their own journey to the Light.

Compassionate Depossession benefits both the person and the entity from whatever reality the being comes from. Akin to the Catholic Rite of Exorcism, but without the formality, pomp and circumstance, and with non-judgement and compassion (obviously) replacing reliance on aggression, command, authority and forceful banishment of the religious approach. One that’s often led to great harm to the individual and performing priest/exorcist alike.

SOME BACKGROUND—As you may know if you follow my blog or my Instagram, I’ve been in a post-spiritual emergence(y)/Dark Night of the Soul/Spirit Guide/Ascended Master-led initiation for a few years now. In surviving, surrendering, and integrating the experience, I was graced with a kind of claircognizant/clairsentient capacity. I’m also being prepared to become some type of channel, or so my ongoing spirit communion meditations seem to suggest. All of this is what led to my transition from more or less conventional therapist to nearly giving it all up entirely, to my re-emergence/rebranding as Therapy Outside the Box. What’s clear now is that I was always meant to go full woo woo (in the most grounded and still clinical way possible, of course ;) with my life’s work. Apparently, it took me experiencing a full on mid-life, to-the-knees-breakdown and (thankfully temporary) descent into madness to wake me up to it. Better late than never. And now the farther I go with courage, trust, faith, patience and surrender to The Divine and The Divine Plan, the more outside the box things get, with no agenda or forcing on my part. It’s fucking beautiful, honestly. I’m in awe. As they say here in the south, I’m blessed.

Anyway, as I’ve been forging ahead in curating and applying my transpersonal IFS approach, there have been a number of spontaneously shamanic, mediumistic, even psychopompic occurrences as of late. [A ‘psychopomp' is one, usually a shaman, or hermetic figure classically, who guides the spirits of the dead to the afterlife or the otherworld. In some religions, psychopomps can be creatures, spirits, angels, or deities whose responsibility is to escort newly deceased souls from Earth to the afterlife]. These occurrences have come about simply as a result of myself and my clients together formally inviting the Divine, The Christ, Holy Spirit, Archangels, Guides, Ministering Angels, Masters, ancestors, crossed over loved ones, spirit and shamanic power animals into the fold at the start of each session—to assist, enlighten, guide, direct and facilitate healing in whatever way is in the highest and best good. ‘And so it is.’

STAGE SETTING EXAMPLES:

Recently, in the middle of an otherwise straightforward IFS session, there emerged the appearance of a client’s spirit animal (A wise old wolf in this case). The wolf came through suddenly and clearly to the client with a PROFOUND, life-altering message, then proceeded to chaperone the retrieval of a young vulnerable part into the present and help guide the shamanic unburdening/transmuting of the younger part’s wounds and extreme beliefs into fire. Extraordinary.

In another case, confirmed by my higher guidance, with a young, precocious, highly intelligent and psychically advanced client who is what’s called a *‘soul walk-in’ from age 12, we’ve experienced on more than one occasion thus far the intervention of spirit guides, elementals, and cosmic/galactic culture guides, making for quite uncommon happenings with the shamanic-based IFS process. [*A soul “walk-in” is considered a higher soul, other than the original soul, that enters in the body as a result of a prior deal/contract. The original soul returns to higher dimensions while the higher soul uses the body for a new destiny]. In this individual’s case, we believe there’s a variation at play. Our understanding, again confirmed by my guidance, is that members of this individual’s soul pod (group soul) came in at age 12, in dramatic fashion, for specific reasons, some connected to the client’s difficult family dynamics, and that did not in this case include the departure of the original soul. More like an addition. Talk about multiplicity! :>

On two other occasions with a different client, immediately upon beginning the IFS process, after calling in the ‘highest and holiest,’ guides, ancestors and loved ones, etc, what I can only describe as spontaneous mediumistic visitations, or after-death communications, (ADC’s) took place. Meaning, one of the client’s crossed-over loved ones came right through with a peaceful presence, and a few uplifting, freeing messages. It was unmistakably real, natural, and healing for the client. This presence was viscerally felt, recognized, and unquestionably accepted as the consciousness of the deceased. All I can say is that is was definitely not a part, not the clients Self , and most certainly not an unattached burden/entity. No question.

In the next session, the second of two loved ones appeared, in stark contrast to those before, in a state of quiet distress—trapped between walls, seemingly dazed, in a state of suspension. My own guidance helped me intuit that this loved one was here not to provide validation of well being, or encourage my client’s being at peace, like the prior visitors had. This loved one came in need of help— to begin facing and accepting the very fact of his crossing over. And this made sense based on what we’d discussed about the circumstances of his life and passing. The client went with it, took my que, and functioned in this case as a both medium and psychopomp—providing context, validation, and ultimately freeing the loved one from the liminal/bardo state he’s been stuck in since passing, on to wherever his soul is meant to proceed from there. By the end, the walls gave way, he stood up straighter, and simply wandered off, as if exploring his ability to be spiritually mobile for the first time since shedding the body.

Of note is that for all my woo woo and personal spiritual goings on, I’m not a medium or psychopomp, nor intending to become any of these. And neither is this client. This person has no particular spiritual leanings or practice! This was an organic, but welcomed occurrence. One that’s brought about a unique and unexpected sense of healing and peace. The beginning of real closure in regards to the multiple losses incurred.

In PT 2, after I’ve gathered more of my thoughts and checked in some more with my higher guidance to be sure I’ve sufficiently understood to the degree that I can what occurred, I’ll be detailing the strangest of the strange to date: A case of unplanned and unexpected ‘compassionate depossession’ of a foreboding, imposing, dark unattached burden/entity occurring in a session literally two days after completely a training on Shamanism and IFS with a focus on unattached burdens in which I learned of the concept of ‘compassionate depossession’ and had just decided to apply for training in the method.

Stay tuned…

Nashville Voyager Magazine Feature

Pretty cool to get a local spotlight. Very honored.

Life & Work with Chris Hancock, LCSW of Franklin

Today we’d like to introduce you to Chris Hancock of Therapy Outside the Box

Hi Chris, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.

“Thank you! I really appreciate this opportunity. Well, I grew up on suburban Long Island. But my father was raised in a small town in South Georgia, so my affinity for the South runs deep! I feel totally at home here. Growing up it was really all about music. So much so that after graduating college, I reunited with old mates and we gave it go up in Boston, MA. We achieved a modicum of success through the 90’s recording two records, one for a major label, and doing a good bit of touring. But the lifestyle and the malarkey of the industry left me cold. I made my exit in 1997 to answer a loudening soul call to something higher. I returned to New York, got into therapy (again), and began taking classes. The first 10 minutes of my very first class in human development confirmed I was exactly where I was supposed to be…

Click here to read the whole story!

'There is Nothing that is not Spirit'

Lead me from the unreal to the real; Lead me from darkness to light; Lead me from death to immortality.

—Brihadaranyaka-Upanishad

“There is Nothing that is not Spirit”

Does that title not captivate you? Transfix you? Instantly resonate as truth in your bones? If not, no need to read further. But if so…

Slight digression first. So I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on Selfhood. The concept of the personal and eternal Universal Self that’s been wrestled with by various schools of eastern and western philosophy and psychology, eastern and western religious and spiritual traditions for an aeon. Modern psychologically speaking, Self—as defined and utilized as the undamaged, infinite, eternal healing essence and agent of change via Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS)— is my biggest practical focal point as of late. Dr. Richard Schwartz (developer of IFS) turned 30 some years ago to the treasure trove of eastern spiritual wisdom to inform and amplify his own clinically-informed multiplicity of mind/polypsychicsm-based conception of Self, as distinct from the many separate but interconnected ‘parts’ (subpersonalities) within us all that hold the story of our pain (trauma) and protect us in a myriad of ways from real or imagined further pain (re-traumatization).

As a longtime seeker of eastern spiritual and esoteric knowledge, in tandem with the post-dark night of the soul spirit-led initiation process I’ve found myself in over the last years (ostensibly preparing me to become some type of intuitive and/or trance-voice channel), I’ve been on a mad spree of collecting up choice, vintage spiritual writings. This, in an effort to continue often complicating, but ultimately hopefully deepening and integrating my understanding of how spirituality, personal (gnostic) spiritual experience, Selfhood, psyche, and healing converge.

Currently I’m finding inspiration in a book titled Mysticism, a Study and an Anthology, by F.C. Happold, published first in 1963. The following are some select passages from the chapter entitled “There is Nothing that is not Spirit” (hence the blog title) which draws upon on The Upanishads, the concluding portion of The Vedas, the oldest sacred literature of Hinduism, composed from about 1500 to 100 B.C.

The way Self is articulated, i.e. the various poetic yet matter of fact descriptions of its transcendent potential, inseparability from (notably masculinized) Godhead, and its eternality, is purely resonant music to my soul (if my soul had ears, that is). As is the way the sheer ineffability of the All That There Is—the Lord of All—is portrayed. For many, I imagine, this would create anxiety. Terror even. For me it brings quiet comfort. Which can only mean intuitive resonance with a deep, eternal, yet non-conscious knowing.

Select passages below are taken from The Ten Principal Upanishads, and were beautifully and clearly put into English by Shree Purohit Swami ands the Irish poet, W.B. Yeats (The Macmillan Company (first published in 1937 by Faber and Faber Ltd).

Enjoy…

The Self is one. Unmoving, it moves faster than the mind. The senses lag, but Self runs ahead.

Unmoving, it outruns pursuit. Out of Self comes the breath that is the life of all things. Unmoving, it moves; is far away, yet near; within all; outside all.

The Self is everywhere, without a body, without a shape, whole, pure, wise, all knowing, far shining, self-depending, all transcending; in the eternal procession assigning to every period it’s proper duty.

-From the Isha-Upanishad

***

The Self knows all, is not born, does not die, is not the effect of any cause; is eternal, self-existent, imperishable, ancient. How can the killing of the body kill Him?

He who thinks that he kills, he who thinks that He is killed, is ignorant. He does not kill nor is He killed.

The Self is lesser than the least, greater than the greatest. He lives in all hearts.

The individual Self and the universal Self, living in the heart, like shade and light, though beyond enjoyment, enjoy the result of action. All say this, all who know Spirit…

…Eternal creation is a tree, with roots above, branches on the ground; pure eternal Spirit, living in all things and beyond whom none can go; that is Self.

-From the Katha-Upansishad

***

There is nothing that is not Sprit. The personal self is the impersonal Spirit.

The Self is the lord of all; inhabitant of the hearts of all. He is the source of all; creator and dissolver of all things. There is nothing He does not know. He is not knowable by perception, turned inward or outward, nor by both combined. He is neither that which is known, nor that which is not known, nor is He the sum of all that which might be known. He cannot be seen, grasped, bargained with. He is undefinable, unthinkable, indescribable.

-From the Mandookya-Upanishad

***

This Self is nearer than all else; dearer than son, dearer than wealth, dearer than anything. If a man call anything dearer than Self, say that he will lose what is dear; of a certainty he will lose it; for Self is God [!]. Therefore one should worship Self as Love. Who worships Self as Love, his love never shall perish…

-From the Brihadaranyaka-Upanishad

***

In this body, in this town of Spirit, there is a little house shaped like a lotus. And in that house there is a little space. One should know what is there.

What is there? Why is it so important?

There is as much in that little space within the heart as there is in the whole world outside. Heaven, earth, fire, wind, sun, moon, lightning, starts; whatever is and whatever is not, everything is there.

If everything is in man’s body, every being, every desire, what remains when old age comes, when decay begins, when the body fails?

What lies in that space does not decay when the body decays, nor fall when the body falls. That space is the home of Spirit. Every desire is there. Self is there, beyond decay and death; sin and sorrow; hunger and thirst; His aim truth; His will truth.

-From the Chhandogya-Upanishad

Pax, Godspeed!

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

www.therapyoutsidethebox.com

chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com

@therapyoutsidethebox

Franklin, TN

615.430.2778

On 'Vibration'

The following is an article included in a course I did recently on Kundalini, Bioenergy, and Awakening, by Integrative Mental Health For You (IMHU). While the very terms ‘vibration,’ ‘frequency,’ ‘alignment,’ and of course ‘energy’ can set off eye rolls, chuckles, or judgmental woo woo alarms in many people, its wise to look beyond our cultural conditioning and consider what’s really meant by such concepts, and how they can be practically applied. For instance, I’ve found over the last three years of offering my intuitively-guided Subconscious Heal and Release® energy psychology-based healing and alignment approach, that it is exponentially more (perceptibly, viscerally, and practically) effective the higher one’s baseline vibration. I’ve come to understand that when I consult my higher guidance as to whether a prospective client and myself are ‘in alignment’ to work together (“Is it in the highest and best good?”), when I get a ‘no,’ what it means essentially is that we are not, at the time of inquiry, a vibrational match. Presumably because the inquirer is resonating predominantly with the thoughts, emotions and behavior of lower energy/vibration/frequency than is required, which would amount to little or no perceivable benefit from a mind, body, spirit and energy psych-based therapy. Particularly, as I state on the page description about this approach, unhealthy/extreme levels doubt or skepticism, cynicism, jadedness, and/or a strong victim consciousness identification, are sure fire rule-outs. Meaning, one has to be resonating at a reasonably—not perfect— but reasonably high level to perceive benefit. What that means to me otherwise is that a person at a low level of vibration is being dominated by the hidden pain of their exiled (most vulnerable, usually child) ‘parts,’ and hypervigilantly managed by their fierce managerial/protector ‘parts,’ a la Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS), which I also offer.

In any case, if you would benefit from a ‘punch list’ of descriptions highlighting the differences between low and high states, read below, and enjoy!

Do You Have a “Low” or “High Vibration”? 

There are 63 Signs To Look For

We’ve heard the phrases many times before … “Man, he has a really negative vibe,” “That place had AMAZING energy,” “She’s so energetic.” Yet few of us ever really stop to fathom the depths of these common expressions and remarks. The truth is that instinctively, on both a primal and intuitive level, we can sense that not only is everything composed of energy, but this energy varies in its quantity and quality drastically in our everyday lives.

Have you ever been in a busy and bustling train station and felt a sense of “heaviness”? Or have you ever gone to a concert and felt a sense of inner “lightness” or elation? These are simple and fairly common examples of our ability to “tune into” different frequencies of energy in our lives.

 So what does having a “low” or “high vibration” mean, and where does it fit into this equation? If you've heard these phrases used before, and if you are curious to learn more about what having a high or low vibration means, keep reading.

 Everything You Need to Know About Low and High Vibrations – Simplified

High vibrations are generally associated with positive qualities and feelings, such as love, forgiveness, compassion and peace. On the other hand, low vibrations are associated with darker qualities such as hatred, fear, greed and depression. We’ll explore low and high vibrations more in depth below. But what does all of this really mean? Essentially, the higher your vibration is, the more in touch you are with your higher self, inner “God/Goddess,” Divinity, Consciousness, Holiness, Soul, or the many other words out there to describe your true nature. This also means that the lower your vibration is, the more out of sync you are with your higher nature, and therefore the more conflict you experience in life.

63 Signs That You Have a Low or High Vibration

 Before you read the lists below, it’s important to remember 2 things. Firstly, you are rarely ever 100% “either/or” anything in life. Therefore, you’ll most likely fall along a spectrum of 25% high and 75% low, 55% high and 45% low – and so forth. So refrain from boxing yourself up into black or white labels. Secondly, discovering whether you have a primarily low or high vibration is really helpful . . . for you. However, be wary of using these labels against others (e.g. “He/she has a low vibration, keep away!") – ironically, this perpetuates the low vibrations linked to segregation and discrimination. That is why this is best used as a self-discovery tool.

 So with this in mind, what kind of vibration do you have, and how does this impact your life?

 If you have a low vibration …

• You feel “stuck” or stranded in life, not knowing what to do next.

• You struggle with apathy, or an uncaring attitude towards yourself and others.

• You are emotionally distant.

• You are emotionally reactive.

• You struggle with constant fatigue and lethargy.

• You have a primarily self-centric view of the world.

• You often struggle with despair and desperation.

• You find it almost impossible to get “unstuck” from old habits.

• You have a prominent Shadow Self.

• You struggle with chronic illnesses.

• You feel physically unfit and unhealthy.

• You bottle up feelings such as resentment and jealousy.

• You find it hard to forgive yourself and other people.

• You suffer from a guilt complex (i.e. you constantly feel guilty about something/seek things out to feel guilty about).

• You don’t really know what you want in life.

• You continue to make poor choices.

• You struggle with mental health issues such as anxiety, OCD or depression.

• You find it hard to see the beauty in life.

• You feel unfulfilled.

• Your connections with others constantly bring you pain.

• You are overly cynical and skeptical.

• You are argumentative.

• You complain a lot.

• You have substance abuse issues.

• You self-sabotage.

• You focus primarily on the negative in life.

• You struggle to feel gratitude.

• You eat a lot of fatty or processed foods (e.g. meat, fast food, lollies).

• You are needy or demanding of others.

• You watch a lot of violent movies and TV shows and/or listen to intense music (e.g. heavy metal, screamo, rap).

• You find it hard to make any real progress in life.

If you have a high vibration … 

• You are self-aware (i.e. you are conscious of what you are saying, doing, thinking and feeling, as well as the affect this has on others).

• You are empathetic towards others needs and you make a habit of seeing through the eyes of other people.

• You are highly creative and are often bursting with ideas and inspiration.

• You are emotionally balanced.

• You feel connected to that which is “beyond” you (e.g. life, divinity, love).

• You have a great sense of humor towards life.

• You don’t take yourself too seriously.

• You regularly feel gratitude for what you have in life.

• Smiling and laughing comes easily to you.

• You don’t experience much disappointment because you don’t cling to passing things (e.g. material comforts, friendships, indulgences).

• You are self-disciplined.

• You can delay pleasure if it does not serve you.

• You do not “need” anything to feel happy.

• You are in-tune with your body and its needs.

• You nurture yourself often.

• You nurture others often.

• You often experience synchronicity.

• You live in the present more than the past or future.

• Your body feels strong and healthy.

• You eat raw, unprocessed food.

• You try to keep your life clutter free.

• You forgive yourself and other people easily.

• You feel as though you have found your calling in life.

• Opportunities and new doors spontaneously appear to you in life.

• Patience comes easily to you.

• You don’t feel the need to argue or compete with others – let them win and feel right, it’s OK!

• You are open to many different types of people, ideas, beliefs and experiences in life.

• You feel confident in yourself and your abilities.

• You are attracted to profound, calming and inspirational music/movies/TV shows.

• You are highly intuitive.

• Other people easily open up to you.

• You often find yourself in the role of the counselor, peacemaker or teacher in friendships and relationships.

The reality is that most of us share some forms of “low vibration” and other forms of “high vibration,” but the goal is to become aware of what you are excelling at and what you could improve on within your journey of inner evolution, or Involution.

One of the easiest ways to determine whether you are vibrating at a “high frequency” or a “low frequency” is by paying attention to how you physically feel. Do you feel light, energized, clear and healthy? Chances are you have a high vibration. On the other hand, if you feel weighed down, repressed, oppressed, stuffy or heavy, you are most likely operating on a low vibration.

Learning to unconditionally love yourself is essential for your healing and fulfillment in life. I’ve been there before, and still am at times! So for now, I hope you benefited out of this article.

  by ALETHEIA LUNA, Author/Blogger

 previously published on http://lonerwolf.com/low-or-high-vibration-signs/ 

 **************************************************************************************

Are YOU seeking fresh approaches to your mental and emotional health? To spiritual growth? Have a reasonably high vibration already and want to clear remaining energetic blocks to catapult your joy, increase prosperity mindedness, and fully embrace your highest purpose?

Reach out to see if were aligned to work together, get on my waitlist, and to book a FREE 20 minute phone consult.

Visit me at www.therapyoutsidethebox.com, email me at: chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com, or call me directly @ 615.430.2778.

PAX,

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Franklin, TN

Kindness

Do you weep a little while reading this like I did?

Kindness

A poem by Naomi Shihab Nye

Before you know what kindness really is

you must lose things,

feel the future dissolve in a moment

like salt in a weakened broth.

What you held in your hand,

what you counted and carefully saved,

all this must go so you know

how desolate the landscape can be

between the regions of kindness.

How you ride and ride

thinking the bus will never stop,

the passengers eating maize and chicken

will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,

you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho

lies dead by the side of the road.

You must see how this could be you,

how he too was someone

who journeyed through the night with plans

and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,

you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.

You must wake up with sorrow.

You must speak to it till your voice

catches the thread of all sorrows

and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,

only kindness that ties your shoes

and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,

only kindness that raises its head

from the crowd of the world to say

It is I you have been looking for,

and then goes with you everywhere

like a shadow or a friend.

A Pre-Death Experience

Depressed Man Plans Suicide,
Taken To Meet God Beforehand

from: www.iands.org

The following is the monthly Near-Death Experience (NDE) or Spiritually Transformative Experience (STE), provided as a service to members of the International Association for Near-Death Studies (IANDS), an organization of which I belong. This selection was taken from accounts submitted to IANDS. IANDS is grateful to those who have sent accounts of their experiences, and so am I. I decided to share it here.

In this near-death-like experience, a somewhat atypical one, a suicidally-depressed young man is taken out of his body, hears God’s voice, and learns how God experiences his life. He feels unconditional love and suddenly realizes he wants to live to help others by showing them grace and love. Since returning to his body, he has been bombarded with information, and he has studied many of things he was told. His understanding of God’s expectations of humanity offers freedom from the dictates of religion and of humanity’s ideas of God’s demands. Although he still doesn’t have all the answers, he finds that sharing his experience is a comfort. 

Hi, my name is Josh. I am not sure who to talk to about what happened to me but I feel the need to share this. I, as far as I know, did not have a near-death experience, but something similar. I had never even heard of near-death experiences until my experience, which caused me to search everywhere to see if what happened to me is normal.  

First, I will tell you a little about my past. I had a fun and loving childhood. In middle school I "got saved." During middle school I started going through some type of depression. Years later, I decided that it probably was hormonal youth changes or something. The depression lingered around, even while having a good life. It became disturbing that I could never pinpoint why I struggled with depression. I always tried to be nice to everyone and most people were nice to me. In high school I went through some real lows through my parents’ divorce, and I didn't have a clue who I was or what my purpose was in life. I prayed and fought with God, trying to understand life. 

One night I felt as though I wasn't able to live anymore. I went and found a pistol that my mom kept in the house. We had just gone to the shooting range a couple weeks before, just to make sure it still worked in case of ever having an intruder come in the house. I took the pistol behind the house and got on my knees, praying to God that I'm sorry that I had to do it but I just couldn't stay here any longer. I was sobbing but I put the gun to my head and pulled the trigger. It just clicked. I pulled it over and over and it just kept clicking. I threw it down and screamed that I couldn't even kill myself. I told my mom what had happened and she took me to get depression medicine. She had the gun checked and apparently the firing pin had broken, which was not a common thing. The medicine made me feel like a zombie and I tried several more with no luck. So, I quit trying after a year and tried to go on with life.  

I got married in 2006 to my high school girlfriend, whom I'm still married to. In and out of depression, we had our first child in 2008. After we were pregnant, I had many new questions arise, like how am I going to raise my boy when I don't even know how to live. I decided to actually read the Bible myself this time instead of just mainly listening to preachers. It was shocking. I took the Bible very literally and the Old Testament painted a very different picture of God than I had thought. I had always questioned how a loving God could send anyone to hell, but that was my only problem. Now I had more. I decided to get a concordance to look into the Hebrew and Greek words of the Bible, which instantly caused me to start questioning the hell that I was taught. My struggle started then with God and why all the confusion in this world if he loves us. That pushed my depression deeper and deeper.  

In 2017, I decided to give up on God. He never really answered me anyway. Is he even there?  If he is, is he someone I would actually want to love anyway with the way things appeared to be going on earth with his creation? Accept Jesus or go to hell?  What about all those born in different parts of the world with very different religious beliefs? Is it their fault they were born into another religion? 

I started doing things that I wanted to do, without all the guilt. I decided to quit playing the world's game and choose my own path. No regrets and no worries about what others thought. Giving up on God was fairly easy, but I couldn't help but care about what others thought, which still led me to some degree of guilt.

I decided that the only way to quit playing the game was to take myself out of it. I felt like if there was a hell, it couldn't possibly feel worse than what I felt in this world. So, I talked to my wife, who stayed with me through all of my chaotic mind mess and depression. We had three children by this time. I told her I couldn't do it anymore. She knew that I felt suicidal already. I was always open with her. She said she wanted me to be happy no matter what that means, even though she would be horribly sad without me. She asked if I would wait one year. Try medicine and therapy the whole time to give it one more really good try. I agreed.  

I found a therapist that I liked and finally found some depression medicine that was bearable. I was still depressed though. Almost every time I left the therapist’s office, I felt better though. That better lasted an hour or two most of the time and then back to reality which was the depression. I was happy knowing this was it, my last year. As the months got closer, I could feel the relief coming. Almost excitement about my planned suicide in the January to come.  

One evening in November I got home from playing basketball with some friends. We played every Tuesday. I didn't get home until about 9:15 pm that night and my wife and kids were already in bed. I took a shower, put on pjs, and made a bowl of cereal to eat while I watched some TV. A few minutes of TV and a few bites of cereal in, I found myself in complete darkness. I was just in my recliner eating cereal and now it felt as though I was standing up in a completely dark room, all alone. 

I was confused but not scared. Then I heard a voice that said, "Look." I somehow knew it was God and didn't even question it, like it was just completely known to me. Then a sound started up like an old roll movie film projector. It was clicking, then a light was in the right side of my vision. Then the movie started and the voice said, "This is your life." It was from my earliest childhood until the present. It felt as though I experienced all my life in one moment. Then it was dark again. Then the voice said, "This is your life and how you see it." The projector started back up and started rolling again, only this time there was like an EKG graph above it. You know, with the horizontal line down the center and how it spikes like mountains above the line. But it could also spike like mountains below the line, too. Every moment of my life, the spikes would go above the median line if I felt I did something good or below the line if it felt like I had done something wrong or bad. It went all the way through my life again, with many peaks and valleys on the chart. Then it went black again. Then the voice said, "Now, this is how I see your life." The film started up again with the same graph above it. This time the line never moved. It stayed flat in the center, never peaking or valleying through my whole life. About half-way through my life review this time, I started crying horribly. 

I fell to my knees in the dark, sobbing. I had never felt love like that before. True love. No judgments whatsoever. True unconditional love. In that state, my love was reciprocating back to God as he was giving it. I had no choice. As his love poured into me, it went straight back to him in perfect loving harmony. This was God. The true God. No lies. No BS. True perfection. 

Then it entered my awareness, like information pouring into me, I knew instantly that I actually could kill myself and it would be perfectly okay. But I answered that statement with a resounding, “NO! I can't leave now!”  With this information or "good news," I had to stay. I wanted to stay. Not for me, but for anyone else. I knew then that I had to stay to show grace and love. Even if it was only to one person, it was worth it to stay. If I could only hold the door open for one person, or carry groceries for one person, or help out anyone in any way, I had to stay. God could take me at his choosing, but I was choosing to wait for his timing for my bodily death. And while I am here, I am here for them. By them, I mean anyone and everyone. Even if it’s just for kind conversation to the lonely. Anything at all. I knew I was changed forever.  

I came back into life right after. I was instantly back in the recliner, TV on, bowl of cereal in my lap, with a wet shirt where tears had been dripping from my face. I was in shock from what had just happened. I knew that what happened was even more real than anything. There was not one bit of doubt about what had happened and there hasn't been any doubt since. 

That was in November 2019 and it is now October 2021.  My life hasn't been and will not ever be the same. I didn't say anything, not even to my wife for a little while. I didn't want to get her hopes up. The next morning, I got up and started cutting my depression medicine in half to start coming off of it. I was off completely within a month. I did this because the doctors warned me about coming off abruptly. I didn't tell my wife that I came off. I also didn't schedule any more therapy.  

Something else accompanied my experience and still does to this day. Every day or two for about six months after the initial experience, I would receive knowledge or information that would blow my mind. At first, I didn't know what was going on or if it was true. Then I started researching some of the things that were being given to me. I looked into all religions. I had never studied any other religion before because I was told that I would possibly be deceived by the devil and lose faith in Jesus. I looked into history, especially first civilization history and epics and myths. I looked into astronomy/astrology, science, math, quantum everything, philosophers, scientists, so many things. As I would receive information I would search for confirmation and I always found it. It was like I learned more in one year than my entire lifetime.

The truth that I know now is that God is Everything and Nothingness. We are a part of God and we are perfect. This whole world is still evolving and so are we as people, constantly expanding and growing and understanding. Everything is as it should be and it couldn't be anything other. It only feels other than that when we start making claims to things. Judging things. Possessing things. We are here to be alive. To be living. We get to witness ourselves and all of God's glory, which is everything. The persons that we believe we are, are only fiction. We made them up in our minds. Lol. We actually made up everything and now believe in it. We made up right and wrong, good and bad, up and down, and all the objects we've named and given them meaning and created their usefulness. But that is our creation. Not God's. God's is just for us to be. That is it. He takes care of everything else. 

And He is perfect for us, knows exactly what we want, need, desire, fear, love. He knows it more intimately than a mother knows her child. Because He is not only our Father, mother, brother, friend, counselor, teacher, etc. He is Us and We are Him. I found out that we are One, thinking we are separate. So how you treat someone is actually how you are treating yourself. And how you treat yourself is how you are treating others. Literally.

I found out that once you know God, your trust in Him becomes one hundred percent. Naturally. Not trying. When you know how much he loves, you would not put trust anywhere else. So even if you "think" something is bad or good, just know that doesn't matter. It's always for you to grow, learn, and eventually find yourself/God. I know this may sound weird, and I could go on and on forever, but it just feels good to put some of this in writing. If anyone is reading this, thank you so much for your time. Bless you.  

Readers may contact the author, Josh, at jback1036@gmail.com. 

Editor's Note: The typographical presentation is the same as what was submitted.

ISGO  l  NDE Radio  l  NDE Accounts  l  Book Store  l   YouTube Channel
 

International Association for Near-Death Studies (IANDS)

Founded in 1978, the International Association for Near Death Experiences (IANDS) is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit corporations. It serves as the center hub for near-death experience networking, research, information, programs, and events. IANDS publishes the scholarly, peer-reviewed Journal of Near-Death Studies. Members from around the world include researchers, experiencers, educators, medical professionals, academics, and others.

Have YOU had a near-death experience, near-death, or pre-death experience similar to this account? In my Support Experience Support (SEE) specialty I work with ‘experiencers’ on exploring, making meaning, and integrating all manner of non-ordinary experiences. In-office in Nashville / Franklin TN or via Telehealth/Secure Video from virtually anywhere.

Visit me at: www.therapyoutsidethebox.com for more information, or email me at: chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com or call me directly: 615.430.2778.

Spiritual Bypassing: An Alternate Take

Much has been written already on the topic of spiritual bypassing. Not reinventing the wheel here for sure. But it’s been on my mind a lot lately. That’s usually a sign something’s wanting to come through about it. Let’s see what that is…

To my knowledge, the phenomenon was originally spotted (framed as Spiritual Materialism) by the Buddhist master Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche in his classic work Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism. And transpersonal writer and healing practitioner Robert Augustus Masters offered an honest treatment in his book Spiritual Bypassing: When Spirituality Disconnects Us from What Really Matters.

Masters also elsewhere humorously referred to spiritual bypassing as “Avoidance in Holy Drag.” I howled when I heard that.

In any case, Masters wrote:

“When transcendence of our personal history takes precedence over our intimacy with our personal history, spiritual bypassing is inevitable. To not be intimate with our past- to not be deeply and thoroughly acquainted with our conditioning and its originating factors keeps it undigested and unintegrated, and therefore very much present.”

Meanwhile, the term spiritual bypassing is said to have been actually coined by author and Buddhist meditation teacher John Wellwood in the 80’s who described it as:

“…a tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.”

Spiritual bypassing therefore a form of denial, describing the way that we can essentially deceive ourselves into using spirituality to separate us from honestly feeling our emotions, and employ various aspects of spirituality in defending and deflecting from our faults and shadows. So it’s essentially what the term implies— an [unconscious] attempt to spiritualize away our emotions, internal conflicts, maladaptive character traits, compulsions or addictions, or our larger physical and relational real world experience— the boots on the ground problems in living we all must contend with here in earth school.

While there’s really not much new to add definitionally, or descriptively, as with almost everything, there are differing lenses in which to view and attempt to understand it.

(Later, I’ll off a view through the lens of Multiplicity/Polypsychism).

I should note that some aligned with the new age/lightworker community have argued, perhaps rightly, that the term itself— especially when hoisted upon others— is merely a judgment. Nothing more. Fair. But that’s just the surface. The tip of the iceberg. Because insofar as all judgments of others are in essence projected self-judgement, and the identification and exploration of what’s being held in contempt and/or disowned (and therefore ripe for projection) is the entirely of the berg underneath the water line—and the where the real opportunity for healing and integration begins.

Composite case example: ‘The Penultimate Buddhist’

There’s an anecdote of one self-proclaimed staunch, militant Buddhist (as oxymoronic as that may seem). Someone who displayed a reflexive habit of frequently injecting their seriously spiritual Buddhist self-identity into all conversations, and developed a reputation over time for being sharply, harshly critical of others who claimed, practiced, or spoke about Buddhism in any manner they perceived to be somehow inferior (clue) to their [ungrounded, grandiose] image as the measuring stick of what it means to be a true or real Buddhist.

Long story short, sources would have it that one day someone of erudite status within the particular Buddhist tradition they aligned with spotted and pointed out this toxic trait directly to them. It was done so in a way that was compassionate yet direct, incisive yet fair, and that encouraged fearless self-examination and transmutational exorcism of the internal source of the apparent need to act as the self-appointed “Buddhism Police,” as evidenced by this compulsive ‘calling out’ others with a gross lack of compassion. Something especially curious given that cultivation and demonstration of compassion is such an essential, revered quality in the philosophy and practice of all schools of Buddhism.

It appeared, as the story goes, that this quantum karmic cause and effect schooling landed so hard that they soon after wholly renounced Buddhism, under the apparent guise of no longer needing to align with [i.e. ostensibly suddenly transcending] any formalized tradition, philosophy or school of thought, reverting to a pathless, generalized agnosticism of sorts. And while there’s merit and wisdom in any sincerely arrived position of ‘no middle man required,’ this is considered a textbook psychospiritual case study of shame-based, emotionally driven, hostile reactionary throwing out the baby/neurotic solution to the pain of imposter-like exposure; of being faced with and having to own years of long-projected shadow-driven bypass (and all that it was masking) in action.

Had there been just a wee bit of felt access to internal security in the tenuous sense of spiritual identity, and a modicum of pre-existing esteem and self-compassion, this would have been a golden, true awakening-level opportunity for transformation into a more genuinely secure, relaxed, flexible, life-affirming personal spiritual odyssey— one more stably aligned with Buddhist tradition and practices, the beginning of a quiet confidence, and probably more of a “live and let live” harmonious interplay with fellow spiritual travelers.

Though it may appear to be, this anecdote itself is no casting of judgment. Rather, an albeit extreme case illustration of the curious yet common ways in which many a spiritual aspirant—from the newbie to the ‘fully enlightened’ master guru— subtlety (or not so) can become seduced and ultimately captured by the insidious lure of spiritual bypassing— as a protective psycho-emotional phenomenon. Just think of the numerous master yogis and spiritual teachers accused and often found guilty of perpetrating abuse of power crimes, usually of a sexual nature, upon their own disciples. The complex thirst for power/domination, the lust impulse, our very own sexual nature, when denied/repressed (or “exiled”) with the support of both cultural and spiritual taboo, are common fodder for spiritualization bypass attempts. And unfortunately wakes of victims are behind to recover from the wreckage.

Now, we all deny shit. We all project. We’re hard-wired for it, it seems. And we all judge, on the thought level at least. Full stop. And haven’t we’ve all engaged in at least a little though doth protest too much behavior, that which thinly veils— until it fails and ultimately reveals— our underlying self-doubt and insecurity in reference to that which is being so hotly protested?

Sometimes our projections and judgments latch on to the most unlikely of things, appearing in the most paradoxical, even downright *seemingly hypocritical of ways. Reinforcing once again, our utter humanity, including that which may be so ornately adorned in “holy drag” cannot mask forever. *And I say seemingly, because all hypocrisy, all hypocritical positions and attitudes existing within a person can be understood and reconciled when viewed simply as parts or subpersonalities maintaining extreme, polarized positions within the individual Self-System. (More on this later).

As one of my early professors taught, absolutely anything and everything can be used as a mechanism of defense; of self-protection. Even spirituality, spiritual identity, spiritual allegiance, spiritual pursuit, spiritual status, spiritual attainment, spiritual accomplishment— right down to the most simple, private spiritual practices themselves.

personal example

During the first wave of my spiritual emergence from the murky depths of my Dark Night of the Soul experience some years back, not long after the blistering energetic darkness-piercing Violet Flame infusion I received from my apparent Ascended Master gateway guide during a surrender-fueled meditation one day, I started to recognize that a part of me was trying desperately to latch on and ride that wave of bliss right into unearned, unintegrated transcendence, never to have to be bothered with the workaday world again.

In fact, the first video podcast I did (on a platform that no longer exists), when I went back and watched, showed it to me starkly. I was excited, riding the wave. And while coherent, I was clearly not fully grounded, half in the clouds. In a state of what in Transpersonal Psychology would be called ‘Transpersonal Elation.’ A bypass attempt on the part of some part of me was in full force effect.

Three years and many more mystical events and happenings notwithstanding, here I am. Still in the body. Awaken-ing, but far from enlightened. Just living, loving, consulting, providing therapy, receiving therapy, succeeding, failing, boxing training, communing with nature, meditating, surrendering, decreeing and initiating each and every day. Waxing on, waxing off. And better for it. Because, there is no bypass. No shortcuts. No ultimately successful ones anyway.

The longer we remain in the grips of a part of us bent on bypassing our normal everyday pain, responsibilities, normal human needs and desires, the heavier the lifting on the other side. And the longer the road to the heightened self-awareness, peace, emergence, transcendence, transformation, Shangri-La, or wherever it is we most hope for.

These are the kinds of things I help people with, along with psychedelic preparation and integration (important to avoid bypassing-ready parts of ourselves!) and the exploration and integration of all manner of mystical and non-ordinary experiences in my Spiritual Support specialty called Support for Extraordinary Experience (SEE).

signs and signals

How do we know if we are, or at risk of, spiritual bypassing?

On the most obvious surface level, maybe by and through the level of ferocity, rigidity or righteousness with respect to our spiritual views, practices, or identity. The more fierceness, humorless seriousness, the more inflexibility, defensiveness, need to explain, pronounce and proclaim, the more social imaging, grandstanding, sense of specialness and/or to the degree we become intolerant of others who may question, think, act or believe differently, the more there is, likely, bypassing at play.

Likewise, the more we might be ungrounded, not in our body/disembodied, floating up above it all, tending toward denying and discounting our worldly day to day needs, and striving to literally transcend [rather than befriend, integrate, transmute] our human faults, frailties, sensitivities, foibles, and problems— we might be well on the way to the airy fairly bypass express train, only to arrive at gate number rude awakening.

How else might we know?

For sure, through our projections. Our judgements. Specifically, by what we’re hotly reactive to in and about others.

An old saying in recovery is if you spot it you got it. More to the point, if you spot it and you’re immediately and intensely reactive to it, ya probably got it. Meaning what we’re reactive to is ours denied. Our issue being projected.

We are crazy, complex creatures, are we not?

modern spin

I look at many things through the lens of Multiplicity of Mind/Personality. This is the philosophical and psychological perspective that we are, paradoxically, both one and many; that we all have a Self (i.e. Larger Self, Authentic Self, True Self) and subpersonalities, or parts, as we call it in Internal Family Systems Therapy, or IFS.

Historically this view has been grossly misunderstood, stigmatized and psychiatrically pathologized. Fortunately, that’s changing, albeit slowly.

In any case, some parts are young, vulnerable child parts (exiles). Some are protectors (managers) of those young parts and our Larger Self. Other parts (firefighters) snap us into extreme action (dissociation, substance abuse, spending sprees, compulsive spending, etc) when our internal systems threatens emotional overload, so to speak. (In our case example above, a ‘firefighter’ part likely would have initiated the face-saving denouncement of Buddhism, ostensibly in a effort to keep the extreme burdens and beliefs that young, vulnerable exiled parts were carrying from overwhelming the system, that normal protector parts were beginning to fail in their task of keeping exiled).

In IFS, anything that’s not the Self (characterized by the qualities of calmness, clarity, curiosity, compassion, creativity, connectedness, and courage, for example) is a part. Meaning, when we feel much of the energy of Self, then our Self is driving the bus. When we feel a lot of anything other than qualities of Self (anger, shame, anxiety, sadness, etc), then the exiled part of us carrying those burdens for us are driving the bus, obscuring our sense of Self, and therefore, our connection and embodiment of our seat of consciousness, soul, or true spiritual core.

So can a part— a protective part of us— hijack our however otherwise innocent and pure spiritual intent, behavior, practices, or spiritually-based worldly identity in the service of protecting us from encountering another part of us that’s carrying a heavy load of something unpleasant, or inducing us to engage a behavior that would be say contrary to our idealized spiritual identity? You bet. And this is often precisely the internal psychic mechanism behind the bypass itself.

But our parts are not to blame. All parts are just doing their job. In fact, in this way of thinking, nothing and no one is to blame.

‘no bad parts’ / ‘all parts welcome’

This stance is what I love about the IFS model and approach. It takes this stance unapologetically and without exception that there are no bad parts of us. Of anyone. Just parts whose pain, burdens, and roles in the psyche/system are not yet understood. Parts who may be frozen in time, playing extremely polarized roles within the system, and performing extreme protective functions, even in highly destructive ways.

But no matter what a part feels, believes, or is trying to do for us (always a positive intent) they are essentially good. Once accessed and once their story is told, all parts and what they’re trying to do ultimately makes sense. Then they can be helped to unload the burdens of the old pain and beliefs they carry and be guided in adopting new, more up to date roles in our system in service of the Larger Self.

Such as in the case example cited above, a part that has initiated spiritual bypass with the hopes of steering us clear of other parts carrying serious pain can, like any part, be helped to unload, take on a more functional, harmonious role with other parts as well. That way, the spiritual pursuit, and spiritual practices can be more cleanly engaged in the service of grounded transpersonal awareness, awake-ness and integrated elevation.

Are YOU seeking to cut through your spiritual roadblocks? Have you recognized a tendency toward spiritual bypassing, or a pattern of avoidance in general on a level that’s thwarting your larger growth goals? Take heart! These are just parts of you trying to protect and help you (albeit not in the most big-picture helpful way). Let’s get to know them, help them unburden, and take on newer roles aligned with Self.

If you’re seeking an integrative, transpersonal, psychospiritually-oriented Nashville Therapist, or a Therapist in Franklin, or, if you’d like to consult with me via Telehealth-Video from virtually anywhere, visit me at: Therapy Outside the Box … or email me at: chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com …or call me directly @ 615.430.2778.

Peace, Love, and Spiritual Integration,

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Franklin, TN

'Past Life' Trapped Emotional Energy?

“I have absolutely no fear of death. From my near-death research and my personal experiences, death is, in my judgement, simply a transition from one state to another.”

-Dr. Raymond Moody

condundrum

Confession: I’ve always been on the proverbial fence about past life-regression and past life information in general. I question the accuracy, veracity, validity, and practical utility of information gathered through regressions in general for a host of reasons. And maybe specifically that which is identified as originating in a past life. I tried a session once over a decade ago. The practitioner was lovely, experienced, and seemed completely legit. But it went absolutely nowhere. And I’ve heard similar accounts time and again, as recently as two months ago.

During a recent reiki session-trade in which my very talented practitioner on her own brought through information about a past life of mine in Egypt, I was seen as the son of a Pharaoh, and quite a student of the esoteric mystery schools. She connected this to my current and ongoing personal spiritual initiation process [documented a good bit here.] While this is super cool, and plausible given my lifelong esoteric interests, the pragmatist in me points out that she also knew something about what I’ve been experiencing spiritually in this stage of my life. Did that knowledge colored, even unconsciously, what she felt she was bringing in, being aware that I was open to and even seeking clarity about this. I don’t know. But, let’s say it was true and factual information, in absolute terms. It begs the question, what value is there to it exactly? I’m still pondering this.

But I digress a bit.

By contrast, reincarnation, as at least a strong possibility given my position on in the eternality of the soul, makes perfect sense to me. Always has. How could one lifetime be enough to learn all that our soul’s yearn to learn, experience, overcome? Seems nonsensical that we’d be given just one shot. Not to mention I feel the soul is multidimensional in nature anyway—that at least some souls have likely having lived and experienced lives in multiple dimensions through space and time.

Then there’s the problem of linear time as we understand it being largely an illusion. And the concepts of the multiverse and the operationally quantum and fractal nature of the universe calling into question (in my mind anyway) how if there really is only an eternal now, and/or multiple simultaneously levels of now, then is any lifetime we’ve lived before really past?

All this to say, is it possible that the term past life is a misnomer?

Regardless, plenty of ancient historical sources of wisdom suggesting our living multiple times, reincarnating, and the existence of past lives is fascinating. Dr. Brian Wiess’ work (‘Many Lives, Many Masters,’ etc) is especially compelling. And I often recount his own daughters account of a past-life regression that uncovered the exact origin of her sight-threatening eye condition to her amazement and satisfaction (after multiple regression attempts that turned up nothing, incidentally).

Trapped emotions

In the field of Energy Psychology (EP), there’s an understanding that the bodymind can and does harbor the ‘energetic signatures’ of trauma. And there’s thousands of years of ancient traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) that suggests the same. Some of this energy that becomes energetic blocks and contributes to dis-ease on the physical level is even understood to be gestational via generational inheritances—energetic signatures passed on from one generation to the next until someone heals and clears it out.

Using my higher guidance/claircognizant/clairsentient ability (as informational source/pathway) and muscle testing, albeit an auto-version (as mechanism) I find this to be the case time and again when we get to this point in my Subconscious Heal and Release® healing and alignment approach.

Using this method, when we identify a trapped emotional energy signature blocking a person’s alignment with whatever target goal we’re addressing, after double checking it, I inquire through my higher guidance as to whether this is the person’s own trapped emotional energy from experience in this life, or a generational inheritance. It’s usually one or the other, but sometimes both. When there’s a generational component, I then inquire as to whether it’s a maternal or paternal inheritance, then trace it back to it’s origin point (Mother, Grandmother, Great Grandmother, etc).

Then I’ll ask “Is there any more about this [trapped emotional energy] that ______’s higher self would wish him/her to understand better or explore further? Often it’s a yes. Then I use my guidance to identify “age of cause” of whatever occurred that caused the emotional response to become trapped energy. Sometimes it can help to ask higher guidance if it was a singular/acute incident or event, or something more global/general resulting from an accumulation of emotional energy, such as being the result of ongoing dysfunctional or high conflict family situation, or what have you.

Once we identify what we believe it was that caused the emotion to become trapped (and once that’s confirmed by higher guidance) we ask if there’s any more about it we need to know. If its a no, we move on to the healing and releasing part.

past life emotional blocks?

Up until recently, after roughly three years of curating and applying my Subconscious Heal and Release® approach, in concert with my higher guidance, all information about trapped emotions locate them as originating either in the person’s experience in this lifetime, or they are generational, or both. Yet suddenly, about a month or so ago, I started getting a no to both inquires. The trapped energy was neither the person’s own from this life or generational. Leaving only one other point of inquiry that I could imagine. Past lifetimes.

And wouldn’t you know it. Bam. There’s been three cases to date of this turning up in the last few weeks.

You might wonder like I did (and still am wondering) why now? Why all the sudden is there past life trapped emotional energy in those who work with me? Why not before? Is this really accurate? Truth be told, I have no idea. I do believe the information to be accurate, because the process of divining information from Source/God Mind/The Field/Collective Consciousness/Cosmic Reservoir (whatever you might call it) is pretty spot on. And people tend to connect to what comes through informationally and typically feel an intuitive and/or somatic shift when we heal and release whatever has been identified as a block in their bodymind.

But why now are past life origins of certain trapped emotional energies turning up, I know not. To some degree, with any process that can be considered spiritual/psycho-spiritual or transpersonal, there’s is a degree of faith involved. The evidence of things unseen. I’m comfortable with that. My clients tend to be as well. And they tend to trust me, believe me to be in-integrity, and trust this process. For that I couldn’t be more grateful.

But damn, it’s not always easy to not really know!

I conjecture that this past life stuff may be arising now in connection with my own personal spiritual growth and development, my intuitive expansion, and/or the stage of this spiritual initiatory process I’ve been in for a few years and running now, ostensibly in preparation for becoming some kind of trance voice channel. Perhaps this info is alos coming through now because of the collective consciousness leveling up. Or, maybe it’s more a happenstance by-product of the particular folks seeking me out now who happen to be carrying significant past-life-based energetic blockages, whereas no one before had.

What value?

So far, my clients with whom we’ve turned up past life originations of trapped emotional energy have found it compelling. They’re open to it, but holding it loosely just as I do. These days, since going Outside the Box, I tend to attract and work with possibilists, just like myself, so that’s no surprise.

In the end, regardless of origin, the goal is to identify the blockage, understand what [higher guidance says] should be understood about it, then get on with clearing, healing and releasing it. The purpose of which is to achieve ‘10 out of 10’ mind body spirit and ‘all parts’ alignment with our goals.

Alignment in this sense can be understood as the elimination of subconscious, mindbody-based resistance to whatever is in our highest and best good. Whether a block is ours, a generational inheritance, or something carried over from a past life, the value of clearing it out is the same. As to the value of understanding the origin, that’s idiosyncratic to the person. Up to each of us.

Are YOU seeking a Therapist in Nashville? A Franklin, TN Therapist? Interested in consulting with me from a distance via Telehealth/Video from virtually anywhere?

Visit me at Therapy Outside the Box to learn more about the Energy Psychology-based approach discussed here, my Spiritual Support service, Integrative Counseling or my intuitively-guided approach to Internal Family Systems therapy.

You can also email me at chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com or call me directly at 615.430.2778.

Peace, love, and past life energetic clearing :>

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Franklin, TN

"Shadow Work:" A Modern Take

“Everyone carries a shadow. the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag, thwarting our most well-meant intentions.”

”Shadow is that hidden, repressed for the most part, inferior and guilt-laden personality whose ultimate ramifications reach back into the realm of our animal ancestors.”

C.G. Jung

Most would agree that the great Carl Jung did much to popularize the western understanding of the “shadow.” Yet the concept itself is ancient. It has timeless eastern/esoteric spiritual and shamanic roots that Jung was well-acquainted with.

Jung’s own ‘confrontation with the unconscious’ engaged with gusto throughout his now much better understood dark night of the soul/descent into madness trials with the release of the Red Book shines the light, so to speak, on the depth of commitment to understanding and integrating his own shadow/unconscious contents.

Fascinating too that even though as we’re only now entering what’s being called the age of embodiment, Jung himself spoke (such as in the above quote) way back when to the necessity of not only making conscious but embodying that which we access.

Shadow defined

The shadow can be described many a way. In essence, and in short, I understand it as the various aspects of our private inner experience—of our psyche—that we have a vested interest in remaining unaware of. Unconscious of. The experiences, emotions, traits, proclivities, tendencies, views and corresponding behaviors we’re most likely to have ‘repressed,’ and keep suppressed, by definition then, are what we’re most prone to project out onto others and the world. Because that energy has to go somewhere.

“What we resist persists” the saying goes.

“A man who is unconscious of himself acts in a blind, instinctive way and is in addition fooled by all the illusions that arise when he sees everything that he is not conscious of in himself coming to meet him from outside as projections upon his neighbor.”

C.g. Jung

Projection can be understood as the outward persistence of what we resist (owning). And projection, it’s said, is hard-wired. As hard-wired as attachment—as that we are social creatures hard-wired for connection.

Both projection and attachment can be seen in a fresh light, through a modern lens, but I’ll come back ‘round to that below.

Back to shadow…

Individuals have shadows. Families have shadows. Organizations and institutions have shadows. Religions and Spiritual Traditions (all of them) have shadows. This is probably why there’s so much truth to the adage “For every ism is an eventual schism.”

Countries have shadows, too. In fact, there’s a whole psychoanalytic subfield of study called Psychohistory founded upon the view that all socio-political dysfunction, all international conflict— wars and such— can be largely reduced to the outward projection of shadow contents. It’s a bit myopic (and projection-laden itself?) but a rich and interesting view.

If you’ll indulging me in reaching back into my traditional ‘inside the box’ psychodynamic training vault here for a minute, one concept that’s always stuck with me from which to consider shadow contents comes from the standpoint of these three essential intrapsychic positions of how we organize our internal experience:

Good Me / Bad Me / Not Me.

(There’s an interesting corollary to other triune concepts like the Drama Triangle: Victim, Rescuer, Persecutor. And the related Transactional Analysis Ego State Theory: Child, Parent, Adult that I’ll maybe attempt to tackle in another post).

Anyway…

Good Me contents would be all the aspects of ourselves that are ego syntonic; free of inner conflict and outwardly applauded, positively reinforced, clearly welcomed as societally acceptable. Early on these would be the traits and behaviors that our families, schoolteachers and other authority figures deemed “good;” desirable, pro-social, and encouraged more of. Good Me contents are easy to lead with, rewarding to own and display.

Bad Me contents would be those traits and behaviors that received negative reinforcement, negative attention, withdrawal of affection or approval, and outward consequences. In the absence of much Good Me reinforcement, many of us overdevelop our Bad Me positions, becoming rebels with or without a cause, and taking more and more anti, rather than pro positions.

Because, especially as children, any attention always beats none. Every time.

When Bad Me is effectively channeled, transmuted, sublimated, great things can be accomplished. Great subversive art can be made. Great social change can be accomplished. But for Bad Me presentations to be truly effective, it must conform to the Dylan Paradox, based on Bod Dylan’s famous assertion that “To live outside the law, you must be honest.”

In most reasonably well adjusted humans, Bad Me contents are usually judiciously engaged, selectively demonstrated, and controlled/controllable.

“The disowned part of self is an energy– an emotion or desire or need that’s been shamed every time it emerged. These energy patterns are repressed but not destroyed. They are alive in our unconscious.”

John Bradshaw

Now the Not Me is where it gets interesting and connects most directly to the shadow theme.

As the name suggests, this is the repository of disowned aspects of Self. The so-called deeply ‘repressed’ contents—the experiences (traumas most especially), traits, thought forms, emotions, attitudes and corresponding behaviors that would be most universally considered unacceptable, unconscionable, even anti-social/sociopathic. In other words, that which is most antithetical to the stability and the Good Me image of the individual.

Think of this as the deepest, darkest part of the shadow-dungeon.

Not Me forever connects in my mind to the treasure trove of spiritual wisdom that largely reduces a healthy mind, and corresponding fulfilling life, to the ability to accept all of ourselves. All of who we are. This means all of what we’re capable of. And we’re all capable of everything and anything that anyone else is. The idea is that ultimately, there are no new thoughts, no new emotions. That all of what we think, feel, perceive and experience, so some extent or another, has all been thought, felt and experienced before. This extends to the idea that given the right (or “wrong”) set of variable/conditions— we are all capable of anything. Right down to the most horrendous acts. All of it.

“I AM THAT” proclaimed Sri Nisargradatta Majaraj as the penultimate liberation and doorway to the Supreme Soul of the Universe.

We are One. We are Everyone and Everything.

Practical Not Me example:

On the more straightforward and common end, take a tendency toward judging others. In this case with a rigidly devout, overly pious, traditionally ‘God-fearing’ individual where such a thing might be considered un-Godly, even sinful.

This neurosis about judgment could easily become Not Me to the individual operating within a such a system of strict conformity and constraint that the mere capability— let alone demonstration— of judgement toward another would be a threat to the likely fragile, inauthentic, at least under-developed self-concept. As well as an affront to the group ethos and self-identity, thereby awakening the possibility of deep shame, abandonment/rejection and/or reprisal.

Given that everyone is capable of and experiences judgmental thoughts at times— an inescapable truth as long as we’re housed in the body— it would leave such an individual no choice but to outright ‘disown’ the very existence of this tendency, banishing it forever into the “shadow.” Ironically/paradoxically, said individual then likely becomes gripped by the counterforce—a compulsive urge to crusade against judgment itself and/or those that 'judge others.

Most of us have seen this time and again, notably in our most conservative public evangelists and political figures. Though doth protest too much, right?

On the opposite end of the spectrum, take adult sexual attraction to children. A psychosexual proclivity toward pedophilia. Outside of some periods of ancient Greece where there was actual cultural support for such attraction and behavior, very few modern adults would outright own and exhibit such deviancy. The aberrant trait itself therefore easily become Not Me (or Bad Me, or even to some degree Good Me in private, shadowy like-minded circles) and thereby it would find expression in all manner of distorted, projected, shadowy, underground ways. Because the energy, the flame of human desire shall not be extinguished in whatever form that desire directs.

“The patience of lust in infinite” wrote Graham Greene.

Of course, the impulse to sexually abuse children (or anyone) is not simply about lust or sex. It’s very much about power, dominance, violence, and in most if not all cases on the deepest level the distorted re-enactment of early trauma, pain, and humiliation stemming from the banishment (Not Me) of such experiences in the psyche and history of those who perpetrate. Talk about shadow.

There may be no better, and sadder, example than the world-wide Human Trafficking / Sex Trafficking epidemic. It’s well understood that this epidemic is driven by multiple individual and systemic factors, only one of which (although a major one) is Not Me pedophilia-related drives. It seems this Not Me expression is often converted into its opposite by some organized religious circles into an outward cloak of caring for and nurturing children, thereby Not Me-masking the darker impulse and true goings on underneath, and the projection of these Not Me contents onto those who question or threaten to expose the “shadow” of the organization or subculture and the actions of individuals involved. Historically, the Catholic Church’s sexual abuse cover up is prime example.

But I digress. If you’d like to know more about this, check out organizations such as End Slavery TN, and Free for Life International. Because believe it or not, it’s right there in your backyard. I guarantee it. Scary but true. And true liberation and freedom are to be found in the light of truth, not the darkness of denial.

shadow in a the light of today

The progressive spiritual community at large— the SBNR (spiritual but not religious) and universalistically/gnostically-minded in particular seem to be historically and only more so taken with the shadow concept, and with “shadow work.” And that’s a great thing. We all need healing and integration. Our world obviously needs healing. Desperately.

While there are always more than one way to skin a cat, and probably very few decidedly “wrong” or overtly harmful ways of accessing and engaging the disowned parts of ourselves, there is, as I frequently hear, much confusion as to the “how” of doing shadow work.

In others words, for many, it’s too shadowy. In my view, part of why is that the ‘shadow’ concept is kind of lagging behind in a river of somewhat outdated conceptualization, and locked in a mono-mind construct that doesn’t mirror current holistic, integrative, mindbodyspirit, trauma-related understandings, informed by modern neuroscience.

To this end, I offer an updated perspective and pathway. And this comes largely from—you might have guessed it— the philosophy of Polypsychism / Multiplicity of Mind, from which the wonderful, trauma-aware, evidenced-based Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) model was born.

This is of course the view that the mind is naturally mosaic—made up of many “parts” that exist in a psychic constellation surrounding what in IFS is called the Self. Or the Larger Self. The Self is synonymous with the seat of consciousness, the soul if you will; the undamaged spiritual core of who we truly are, marked by such qualities as calmness, curiosity, compassion, courage and creativity.

I view the Self as not only all of the above and more, but as the direct link to Divinity; the Divinity within, if you will. (“As above, so below. As within, so without”).

Distinct from Self, our parts are those split off collections of subpersonalities within the system that had to separate from the Self, and adopt roles and functions to perform to help keep our system safe and protected. What is traditionally thought of as ‘defense mechanisms’ in psychology can be understood through IFS as parts doing what they learned to do.

In IFS, there are three classifications of parts:

Exiles

Mangers (aka protectors)

Firefighters

Exiles are typically thought of as our “lost inner children,” usually the youngest most vulnerable parts carrying the oldest, deepest pain.

Managers are those parts that protect the exiles, keeping them from flooding or overwhelming the Self.

Firefighters are the parts that spring us into extreme action (drinking binge, suicidality, etc) when something—usually an unexpected, frightening external event—occurs that threatens the ability of managers to contain the exiles.

In essence, the more difficult the childhood, the more parts we have, and the more extreme roles some of these parts are performing. The larger goal of IFS, like many forms of healing, is “all parts,” mindbodyspirit integration. Reliving our parts of their burdens, creating harmony where there is division, and helping our parts to adopt new, more updated and functional roles in support of the Larger Self.

shadow part(S)?

“Shadow work is the path of the heart warrior.”
C.G. Jung

From this modern perspective, at root, the ‘shadow’ then could be seen and treated as none other than a collection of parts split off from Self. Through this same lens, the popular concept of Ego could be liberated from the old (Freudian Id-Superego-Ego) construct, with its negative and selfish/self-centered implications, updated and reframed as as a collection of manager/protector parts just doing what know to do to keep us safe.

In other words, part of what we think of as shadow can be seen as exiles carrying the deepest, oldest pain, such as of being shamed, abused, humiliated and of which we are scarcely aware/unconscious. The pain our exiles carry could be considered Bad Me or perhaps in cases Not Me contents. Our manager parts could be seen as fiercely guarding our exiles through behaviors that could be considered Bad Me (defensiveness, judgment, hostile withdrawal, etc), yet they’re also just doing their job the only way they know how. And firefighters that attempt to help by snapping us into the ‘fight-flight’ response could be viewed as enacting impulsive “last resort” distracting, numbing or/or regulating behavior when Bad Me or Not Me-carrying parts threaten to overwhelm the system. Again, just doing their job.

What I love about this reframe and subsequent way of working with “shadow,” is that it normalizes, humanizes and provides a roadmap to helping these parts of us to unburden, heal, and join us (our Larger, Present Day Self) in a harmonious and cooperative effort at aligning with the leadership of our Larger Self, thereby contributing to humanity in pro-social ways.

It also reframes the “dark/shadow-light,” “good-bad,” “us-them” and “conscious/unconscious” polarizations into a more holistic, inclusive, and welcoming reality that we are all inherently multiple, all inherently good, and unified in that all parts of us have positive intent and are trying to do something for us, even if some of those ways are the worst ways imaginable.

In short, it really takes the business of healing and integration out of the shadows.

IFS shows us time and again that all parts are ultimately tired of the roles they’ve been forced into. These roles are adaptations, and not what they’ve ever truly desired to do, or be. Once understood and engaged, and once they feel okay with beginning to trust our Self, they are always amenable to change.

The Multiplicity-based mosaic mind view and the IFS approach offers a modern take on what we call “shadow work” by reframing it as “parts work,” out of the murky depths and into the bright, modern, multiplicitous light of day.

After all, we are both One and Many.

In this sense, it’s not so different or opposed to what the ancients elucidated, as Polypsychism is an ancient shamanic view, or in conflict with what Jung espoused as the larger goal of psychic integration, healing and wholeness.

Full circle.

other paths

Of course, there are sundry other ways to access and integrate all of who we are. Psychedelics— when utilized medicinally, mindfully, and ceremonially, with proper preparation, set and setting, on site guidance, and follow up integration support and exploration—- is one such way that’s clearly on the rise in our current climate of consciousness expansion. Never, ever to be embarked on lightly, one clear risk is skipping over or incomplete preparation work. Among other things, when our protector parts are not checked in with to see how they feel about a medicine journey, they can become overwhelmed by the intensity of the psychedelic experience, especially at high doses. Firefighters fearing exiles may flood the system can be triggered and an otherwise avoidable and unfortunate panic-laden flight/flight response can ensue mid-trip.

This is why IFS-focused sessions are always part of my preparation for my clients embarking on psychedelic journeys, be it ketamine infusion, psilocybin, LSD, ayahuasca ceremony or MDMA-assisted journeying.

Esoteric spiritual/meditational/devotional and supplication practices such as transmutational alchemy, trauma-focused bodywork, breathwork, certain forms of yoga (Kriya, Kundalini) and other somatic accompaniments, and even deep contact with nature all hold the promise of helping us make contact with our deeper mind, our long suppressed pain, and the exiled parts of ourselves.

Practicing radical self-honesty can’t hurt. Regularly, fearlessly looking deeply at how we see ourselves, others and the world. Committing to ‘catching ourselves in the act’ in real time of our projections and judgments compassionately, without judging and shaming ourselves, can take us a long way towards integrating the parts we’ve been historically conditioned to disown/project.

ready to discover and integrate your “shadow?”

If you’re seeking a Nashville Therapist or a Therapist in Franklin TN, if you want something different—a truly integrative and Outside the Box approach to mind body spirit healing and integration— visit me at Therapy Outside the Box for more information about me and the services I offer. Or email me at: chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com or call me directly at 615.430.2778.

Some of my services are available virtually anywhere via Telehealth/Secure Video. Discount multi-session packages are also always available.

“There’s an Outside the Box Solution for Every Problem.”

Peace, Love and “Parts Work”

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Franklin, TN

We Are Many

Recently, I was reminded of this profound poem by Pablo Neruda. Along with Walt Whitman’s Song of Myself, 51 (You know, “…Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.”) it might very well serve as the poetic underpinnings of the Multiplicity of Mind Theory, from which many robust psychological approaches have emerged.

Among them, is the beautifully intuitive Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS).

IFS posits that our internal psyche is essentially multiple—that we all have a Larger Self (our unbroken, undamaged essence—the core of our being, soul, or seat of consciousness), and various ‘parts,’ which carry our pain, parts that protect that pain, and still others that spring into firefighter-style action when our internal system is threatened.

The overarching goal of IFS is to create harmony amongst our parts, release them of their old, outdated burdens, encourage them to take on new, update roles kin the system, and generate more access to peaceful, playful, compassionate, calm, curious and creative Self Energy.

Here’s the Neruda poem, for your enjoyment:

We Are Many

Of the many men whom I am, whom we are,
I cannot settle on a single one.
They are lost to me under the cover of clothing
They have departed for another city.

When everything seems to be set
to show me off as a man of intelligence,
the fool I keep concealed on my person
takes over my talk and occupies my mouth.

On other occasions, I am dozing in the midst
of people of some distinction,
and when I summon my courageous self,
a coward completely unknown to me
swaddles my poor skeleton
in a thousand tiny reservations.

When a stately home bursts into flames,
instead of the fireman I summon,
an arsonist bursts on the scene,
and he is I. There is nothing I can do.
What must I do to distinguish myself?
How can I put myself together?

All the books I read
lionize dazzling hero figures,
brimming with self-assurance.
I die with envy of them;
and, in films where bullets fly on the wind,
I am left in envy of the cowboys,
left admiring even the horses.

But when I call upon my DASHING BEING,
out comes the same OLD LAZY SELF,
and so I never know just WHO I AM,
nor how many I am, nor WHO WE WILL BE BEING.
I would like to be able to touch a bell
and call up my real self, the truly me,
because if I really need my proper self,
I must not allow myself to disappear.

While I am writing, I am far away;
and when I come back, I have already left.
I should like to see if the same thing happens
to other people as it does to me,
to see if as many people are as I am,
and if they seem the same way to themselves.
When this problem has been thoroughly explored,
I am going to school myself so well in things
that, when I try to explain my problems,
I shall speak, not of self, but of geography.

Pablo Neruda

(Fun fact: A stranger on the interwebs with a strange bone to pick recently messaged me with an unsolicited scolding for not including the translators name. They themselves didn’t it, interestingly. I then received a good ole’ fashioned shaming for not responding ‘therapeutically” because I called out the unsolicted shaming. Then followed an IFS diagnosis of our interaction framed in or as ackowledgement/apology. I hoped that was the end of it. Alas, here they come again, this time offering the translators identity, presumably because I pointed out the irony of their not knowing it, and my saying I’d be happy to include it in the post. So here it is, according to the troll anyway: Alastair Reid. Disclaimer: May or may not be accurate :).

Interested in getting to know, befriend, and create harmony among the various ‘parts’ of yourself? And a safe, trauma-informed process of helping your parts unburdening themselves?

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an intuitive, gentle but powerful, evidence based therapy that I’ve been studying and using with my clients since 2006. In true Outside the Box fashion, I offer a customized, Transpersonal approach to IFS.

Looking for an IFS Therapist in Nashville? or an IFS Therapist in Franklin?

Visit me at: Therapy Outside the Box or call me at 615.430.2778 or email me at: chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com.

Some services available virtually the world over via HIPPA-Compliant Telehealth/Video.

Peace, Love, and Self Energy!

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Franklin, TN

Somatic IFS + Higher Guidance = MAGIC

The traditional wisdom in the psychotherapy world is that real change is generally slow going. “Ah ha!” moments, and shifts of all kinds small and large can and do happen. And sometimes wild, even mystically-flavored breakthroughs can come about at any time. But generally, for any human struggle with legs, tangible progress in therapy is considered a slow and steady wins the race-type journey. And a mostly unpredictable one at that, no matter what type or what methods are being applied. And there’s real truth in this. Because, as hungry and ready for change as we might be, we all have parts of us that are wary of it, that fear it; that resist the unknow.

All of us, period. Full stop.

My experience has also shown me time and again that the more urgency to change we have, the more severe the resistance there is lurking in the shadows, ready and waiting to sabotage that change.

Because parts of us have agendas, while for the most part, the Self does not.

Paradox.

IFS Paradigm Shift

This is where the Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy model is, in my view, a real gift. Because change can happen much faster in the internal world than the outer. In other words, just talking about our problems, talking about change, or engaging cognitive-only interventions…versus taping and utilizing the body-based knowing, going within and making direct access to the very parts of us that hold the story— the truth of the pain— and working with those parts to safely release those burdens? No contest.

Flowing from the philosophy of Multiplicity of Mind, IFS presupposes that parts with various beliefs, agendas and ideas of their own exist in all of us. IFS normalizes and safely introduces us to our internal parts, or ‘subpersonalities’ in ways we haven’t known before. From a position of acceptance (the prerequisite of all true change), curiosity and compassion, we turn inward with a reverential attitude, welcoming ALL parts of us— from the youngest, most vulnerable carrying the deepest pain, to the potentially most aggressive, punchy, hypervigilant parts hell bent on protecting us, even in the most self destructive of ways.

There are no problems in living that cannot be addressed using the IFS approach. PTSD, childhood emotional traumas, depression, anxiety, codependency, addictions, intimacy blocks, shame, low esteem, abundance barriers, you name it. Because these syndromes are understood as parts of us with a story, either carrying the pain of trauma, managing and protecting those parts, or parts whose function it is to sound the alarms when the most vulnerable parts threaten to flood the Self System.

When IFS is mindfully and intentionally approached with a heightened somatic awareness, it’s even more potent, more alive, and potentially even faster. Faster in that the deeper, more visceral the felt-sense experience of meeting our parts in an embodied way, the sooner we can get into the real meat and potatoes of what the approach is about: the unburdening of our “exiles” (generally our youngest “inner child” parts holding the deepest pain), relieving them of their original “burdens” (a combination of emotional pain and extreme beliefs), helping them to adopt new, updated functions to play in the Self system, increasing harmony amongst our parts, and ultimately freeing up additional “Self Energy.”

To become more and more “Self” led is the true penultimate goal from the IFS perspective. The Self being defined as the true essence of who we are— the larger, undamaged, infinitely whole Self, characterized by what its creator, Dr. Richard Schwartz calls the 8c’s:

Compassion, Calm, Curiosity, Clarity, Confidence, Compassion, Creativity, and Connectedness.

(When’s the last time you felt any of these?)

In short, when we feel and act from any of these states or qualities, we know we are in our Self. We are Self led. Anything else, we can be sure there’s a part (anger, fear, disgust, etc) in the driver seat.

There’s also Dr. Charles Bonner’s nice addition: The 5P’s:

Playfulness, Patience, Presence, Perspective and Persistence.

(When’s the last time you felt any of THESE?)

There’s so much more to IFS, notably the relational component of how it’s conducted, which places great emphasis on the therapists being acutely somatically aware and inhabiting their own Larger Self during the process. Being originally trained as an interpersonal/relational therapist, this is part (no pun intended) of why I took to IFS so swiftly once I became aware of it, back in 2006 or so.

It’s inherently a two-person, relational therapy.

somatic (i.e. soma--the body)

I’ve been familiarizing myself with the many creative offshoots of IFS, notably Susan McConnel’s Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy: Awareness, Breath, Resonance, Movement and Touch in Practice. This prolific author and practitioner beautifully expounds upon and enriches IFS to include a multi-dimensional embodied, and acutely trauma-aware approach that leaves virtually no stone unturned as far as what’s possible with this model at the root.

The term somatic, hardly new, has become increasingly associated with trauma. Especially as recent neuroscience advances have led to more and more ‘trauma-informed’ therapy models, somatic and trauma have become intertwined, for better or worse. Better because awareness has increased in the pubic consciousness as to the prevalence of trauma and its effects on us individually and collectively. Worse, perhaps, because there emerges a tendency to view nearly every human expression, habit, pattern, or quirk of behavior as a trauma response.

(Spend enough time on Instagram, you’ll see what I mean).

While there are countless ways and methods of addressing and healing our little t or big T traumas in a therapeutic context, always more than one way to skin a cat. And while no one method or approach speaks to all, the theoretical basis of IFS is so inherently simple and intuitive there’s hardly a child that cannot understand its implicit assumptions. I mean, who doesn’t understand, and who hasn’t thought or said:

“There’s a part of me that…”

And we all have a body, right? So with the addition of an intentional, mindful somatic emphasis to an already relational and highly intuitive therapy approach, you might think, how could it get any better?

enter higher guidance

As I’ve revealed and described elsewhere on this site, I ‘came online’ with a direct connection to higher guidance via non local consciousness and my ‘spirit team,’ so to speak, out of a proufound Dark Night of the Soul/Awakening phenomenon a few years back. I’m still integrating and seeing through the ongoing spiritual emergence, near daily sub/superconscious-level downloading, and ostensible ongoing initiation/preparation for some kind of multidimensional channeling that’s flowed from this experience. Or so it seems.

This guidance, that comes through most automatically as a binary YES/NO via involuntary head movement, like an auto-kinesiological muscle testing, along with occasional quiet bursts of intangible insight, mental, quasi-visual impressions, and even more occasional blasts of ‘inner vision,” qualifies I suppose as a kind of claircognizance/clairsentience.

This capacity, not without it’s challenges, is my main weapon (for peaceful purposes) in the Energy Healing method I’ve named Subconscious Heal and Release® —a somatic, energy psychology and solution-focused approach to quickly identify, heal and release the ‘energetic signatures’ of subconsciously-held traumas, limiting beliefs, and trapped emotional energies that keep us out of alignment with our goals and dreams.

However, as part of my general therapy arm— Integrative Counseling— I’ve been experimenting, with great success, with applying this higher guidance to intuitively direct the process of my Internal Family Systems work.

And it’s kinda fucking magical.

To have the privilege of utilizing this access to the ‘Cosmic Reservoir’ (As William James called it) that contains all the information that ever existed/exists, and bring that through in the service of guiding healing, embodiment, unburdening of pain and outdated beliefs, creating harmony amongst parts, and aligning with Higher/Larger Self…what beats that?

Not much, if you ask this therapist.

curious? ready to heal?

If you’re looking for a Somatic Therapy experience, or have wanted to test drive Internal Family Systems Therapy, or just seeking a Nashville Therapist or a Therapist in Franklin and want to learn more about what I offer, visit my website at Therapy Outside the Box or email me at chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com or call me at 615.430.2778 to set up a FREE 20 MIN PHONE CONSULT.

I also have some services available virtually the world over via Telehealth/Video.

Peace, Parts, and Embodiment—

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Franklin, TN

"I AM Safe, Worthy, & Loveable"

“I AM fundamentally safe, intrinsically worthy, & inherently loveable.”

Try this:

Sit comfortably. Take 5 deep, slow, diaphragmatic belly breaths. Then, call upon your Higher Self, and repeat this statement slowly out loud.

What do you notice?

Do you feel connected to it?

What does your body tell you? Sensations? (Lightness, heaviness, twitches, tension?) Memories? Images? Emotions?

Does it feel true?

How true?

When starting work with people using the intuitively-guided, energy psychology/somatic and solution-focused Energy Healing approach I call Subconscious Heal and Release®, we’ll often begin with this target statement, or some variation of it.

Why?

Because it gets right to heart of some of the core wounds in areas where we all have some damage—Safety, Worthiness, Lovability.

Everything springs from our deep down sense of who we think we are (identity) and our basic sense of safety, worthiness, and lovability. All that we truly feel, believe, experience and trust about ourselves, others and the world arguably flows from this.

So where better place to begin a healing journey?

What’s interesting is, at the outset, even the most high functioning, accomplished, well-rounded, seemingly securely-attached among us often turn up “weak” or less than ‘10 of 10’ strength of alignment on this (as calibrated via kinesiological muscle testing + claircognizant/clairsentience).This indicates the presence (i.e. “energetic signatures”) of subconsciously-held traumas, limiting beliefs, and or/ damned-up emotional body-based energies blocking mind-body-spirit coherence with the statement.

The reversal of which is the ultimate goal of Subconscious Heal and Release®.

No real surprise though, is it?

Because no matter who we are, where we come from, or how good we had it early on, life (in any modern industrialized western matrix at least) relentlessly chips away at these fundamentals from the moment we pop out of the canal onward. Our indoctrination into fear and conformity-driven ‘consensus reality’ society and culture does a number on us all in ways small and large.

Think about this:

What’s the bottom line premise of every single advertisement for anything anyone is trying to sell you?

I’d say it’s this:

“You’re not enough.”

I mean, imagine if we all KNEW—to the very depths of our being— that we ARE fundamentally, intrinsically, inherently enough (safe, worthy, loveable, complete) just as we are, for who we are. (Our Higher Self of course already knows this, and this is what/who we connect with in Subconscious Heal and Release®).

Would we then ‘need’ for anything beyond the basics to make us feel okay, complete, loveable…enough?

Sure, we’d still desire and choose more. We’re human! But we would not be swayed by the Svengali-like false promise of our need for __________for completion; as our ticket to arrival into a Shangri-La of now finally-but-not-without this _______(thing they’re selling).

(The self help industry, for all its pluses, is as guilty of this as anything).

I’d say the ever-present 50%-ish USA divorce rate probably also largely springs from our collective deficits in these same core psycho-emotional areas.

This is why I love to begin working on this fundamental level. Because whatever other future-present based goals and dreams we may have—more abundance, a happier, healthier love relationship, a career or life path with greater meaning and purpose, a stronger and clearer connection to our Authentic Self, and to Spirit, when there are significant core energetic/somatic blocks in our fundamental sense of safety, security, worthiness—OUR ENOUGH-NESS—we’re going to struggle.

We might even sabotage what we’re able to muscle through to create.

Because it’s one thing to create something. To land a good gig, find a decent partner, begin building some financial security. It’s yet another to sustain it, to replicate it, and keep on creating, sustaining, and replicating.

Like a great athlete, if the fundamentals are not there, or get forgotten, the streak of high performing is in jeopardy; the legacy fragile.

GET ALIGNED!

If you’ve been looking for a Nashville Therapist or a Therapist in Franklin, especially if you felt any less than FULL STRENGTH on the statement up top and want to get rock solid on YOUR fundamental, deep down sense of SAFETY, WORTHINESS, and LOVEABILITY, reach out for a FREE 20 Minute Consult to learn more about how Subconscious Heal and Release® can help you.

Some of my services are available the world over via Telehealth/Secure Video format.

Visit me at: Therapy Outside the Box to learn more about me and all my services, email me at chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com, or call me directly at 615.430.2778.

“There’s an Outside the Box Solution for Every Problem.”

Peace, Safety, Worthiness, and Lovability—-

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Franklin, TN

Energy Psychology

As the Energy Healing approach I call Subconscious Heal and Release® is in large part energy psychology-based, I thought this article from an M.D. and member of ACEP (Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology) might be of interest. Many aren’t aware that the very popular EMDR form of therapy is a form of energy psychology, along with Emotional Freedom Technique (“tapping”) and so many other lesser known methods. It’s an exciting and emerging field that hold great promise for assisting our healing and integration both individually and as a collective. In addition to formal single case studies, neurobiological measures, and numerous clinical reports, EP now has over 80 studies published in referred journals, over 40 randomized controlled trials and 4 meta-analyses that support the efficacy of EP in many areas— including PTSD, anxiety and depression. Nevertheless, energy psychology methods cannot yet be described as established and generally accepted by the mainstream. Despite frequent assertions, using a variety of metaphors, there is no consensus about how and why energy psychology methods work. There are various hypotheses and speculations and a certain amount of research data, but we do not actually know *how* energy psychology works. Then again, do we really know *how* any healing method really works? Or why any particular method works in some cases for some folks, and not for others? A little mystery involved, for sure!

The Science of Energy Medicine and Energy Psychology: A New Direction

FEBRUARY 25, 2021

(by Rick Leskowitz MD) 

I went to medical school over 40 years ago, and its conceptual foundation was pretty straightforward: it was all about anatomy and physiology. First we learned about all the organs and cellular structures (it was called gross anatomy because the organs are so solid and tangible, not because dissecting them is unpleasant!), and then we learned how these components functioned together in health and illness. And not much has changed since then – doctor as auto mechanic, now upgraded to include regular maintenance checks (ie, lifestyle advice).

In many ways, the set-up is the same for energy medicine: subtle anatomy and energy physiology are the keys. Many people are aware of the three main energetic structures of our subtle anatomy: the biofield, the meridians and the chakras (in layman’s terms, the aura, the energy pathways and the energy centers.) Traditional Chinese Medicine states that the mind directs this energy (qi), and the blood (ie, the body) follows the qi. But how, exactly?  

This is where energy physiology fits in, by way of two key interfaces: the places where energy psychology and energy medicine techniques affect our subtle anatomy, and the places where energy-induced energy shifts impact our biology. For better or worse, energy psychology (EP) research overlooks qi by seeking to explain its effectiveness in terms that conventional medicine will understand (ie, fMRIs). But if energy is real, we should be able to make these EP-to-qi-to-body connections. So here are some next steps.

With respect to the first interface, each energy psychology and energy medicine modality has its own unique subtle anatomic target. One size does not fit all, because Reiki, EFT, TFT, TAT and EMDR each impact different layers and components of the energy body; see the reference below for a detailed map of how and where these interactions happen.

Regarding the second interface (energy-to-body), remember that biology and DNA can’t explain cell growth and differentiation – how stem cells decide to become, say, neurons, and grow over there – but the biofield can. Just as iron filings align to a magnet’s invisible lines of force, so will cells go and grow where and how the biofield tells them to. Consider post-amputation phantom limbs – many practitioners have palpated the invisible phantom with their hands. That’s possible because the phantoms are not illusory creations of the brain, but independent energy fields that exist in empty space, even when their corresponding physical structure (e.g., the iron filings) has been cut away. The body follows the qi’s template.

Another form of energy/biology interaction happens when strong emotions stir up sensations in our body. Feelings like being “choked up” or getting “butterflies in the stomach” aren’t just randomly located perceptions, but the results of specific chakra activations. Each of the chakras has an emotional function that is associated with a commonly felt bodily sensation (Figure 1).

CHAKRA ENDOCRINE GLAND EMOTION SENSATION

7 Crown Pineal Bliss Scale Tingling

6 Brow Pituitary Intuition Inner “light bulb”

5 Throat Thyroid Creativity “Choked Up”

4 Heart Thymus Love “Warm Hearted”

3 Solar Plexus Pancreas Power “Butterflies”

2 Sacral Gonads Sexuality “Turned On”

1 Root Adrenal Fear Adrenaline “rush”

Figure 1 – Chakra energy sensations

Here’s another connection – athletes using acupuncture to relieve muscle cramps after vigorous exercise. The standard explanation is that lactic acid has built up and must be metabolized, and that is true – as far as it goes. Energetically, though, muscle tension and pain result when energy flow through the meridians is blocked. That “friction” creates oxidative stress, which effectively causes the cells to “rust” by building up lactic acid; energy treatments (plus anti-oxidants) restore intracellular balance.

Bottom line: there are still many gaps in the story, but these energy psychology/energy/biology links show the direction to go if we really want to understand what energy psychology is all about.

Eric (Rick) Leskowitz MD, ABIHM was a consultant psychiatrist to the Pain Management Program at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital in Boston for over 25 years, is co-director of their Integrative Health Initiative, and is a research affiliate at Harvard Medical School. He is a long-standing member of the Association of Comprehensive Energy Psychology. For over 40 years, he has studied energy healing and energy psychology, meditation, hypnosis and their integration into mainstream medicine. He has edited three textbooks and produced a documentary film about group energies and sports, The Joy of Sox: Weird Science and the Power of Intention, that was broadcast on PBS stations nationally. His work can be accessed at: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Eric-Leskowitz/publications

References

Leskowitz E. A cartography of energy medicine: From subtle anatomy to energy physiology, Explore: Journal of Science and Healing, Nov 2020. (PDF available here.) 

Joy & Woe, Let it Flow!

Joy and woe are woven fine,
A clothing for the soul divine,
Under every grief and pine,
Runs a joy with silken twine.
It is right it should be so,
We were made for joy and woe,
And when this we rightly know,
Through the world we safely go.

-William Blake

Alas, cannot life be all joy, no woe? All pleasure, no pain?

(Can anything be all this, no that?)

The traditional Buddhist would say no way, Jack, life = suffering. While die-hard Epicureans, Libertines, and Bon Vivants would say f&$#k yes it can!

God knows my youthful self valiantly attempted to disavow pain and maximize joy through various modes of sense pleasures. Only to arrive wiser with the experiential understanding that pure pleasure and true happiness are, cruelly, at stiff odds.

Entirely different, chemically and otherwise.

Deep down I always knew, as we all probably do, that the woven fine dialectic Blake so beautifully captures is part and parcel of the human experience. But it’s one that often must be- in our own time and ways- tested, reconciled, accepted, and consistently integrated (not bypassed) if we are to discover true joy and lasting fulfillment.

pain is aS pain does

“The cure for pain is in the pain” said Rumi.

Damn straight.

Yet as we all understand on some level, we’re literally wired to avoid pain.

Like it or not, we signed up for a lifelong challenge of working against our own ancestrally, culturally, psychologically and neurochemically supported baseline instinct to avoid the pain that’s the very key to our mind-body-spiritual evolution; the only thing which offers anything close to true liberation from suffering.

Speaking of Buddhism, the fundamental Buddhist tenant as I understand it is not that life is suffering, but rather that suffering, pain and misery exist. And that there is a pathway toward exit from suffering. Not a quick fix, or store bought one and done solution, but a pathway— a way of living and being— that offers the possibility of liberation from the suffering that simply exists. (See: 4 Noble Truths/8 Fold Path).

I love this about Buddhism.

And I suppose this is the reason for the omnipresence of the “Pain is unavoidable, suffering is optional” meme. Its glibness aside, it borrows from this ancient wisdom that suggests there are some aspects of the human experience that simply must be accepted.

It’s this fundamental rite-of passage acceptance that I’m most interested in as ground zero of our personal and collective liberation.

woe-tegration

As I’ve posted about elsewhere, there’s a reason why Elizabeth Kubler Ross’ classic stages of grief model ends/lands on acceptance. After shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression.

Acceptance is the beginning of integrating and transmuting our “woe.”

There are many other robust models of grief recovery and change processes out there, with various additions and subtractions. I’m personally fond of one that identifies the final stage as “finding meaning.”

It’s worth noting that no one goes through such stages neatly or sequentially. Like seriously nobody. Don’t even try. Because facing pain, like life itself, is messy, herky-jerky, full of pitfalls, illusions and delusions, and ultimately idiosyncratic to the person experiencing the pain.

In other words much more about how we do our pain—our relationship to and with it— than the pain itself.

Ideally, acceptance would be the first stop. But as Kubler-Ross and many other wisdom teachers/traditions rightly point out, in each their own ways, that’s simply not how we work. No doubt there are numerous reasons for this, many the product of our interpersonal neurology, cultural conditioning, and lack of emotional intelligence (eq) awareness at home, schools, and elsewhere.

But in short, again, being wired to avoid pain such as we are, we’re gonna fight it.

Much like codependency expert Melody Beattie said long ago about how “no one sets boundaries until they’re ready,” we have to be ready, and must work our way towards the true strength position of acceptance.

How short or long that road is person-dependent.

which part woes?

When you’re in pain— struggling, grieving, suffering, is it all of you that suffers, or just part of you?

Multiplicity of Mind theory, and the therapy models that spring from it— Internal Family Systems (IFS) in particular, including my own energetically, somatically and intuitively-guided Subconscious Heal and Release® approach, operate from the premise that we’re all essentially multiple.

Meaning, we are, paradoxically, both one and many.

Internally, we all have a Larger Self—akin to our soul, or essence—that’s inherently whole, in-tact, untouched by experience (no matter how traumatic) and we have fragmented parts of ourselves that either carry our pain (exiles), help manage or protect those parts carrying the pain (managers) or that spring into fight, flight or freeze when the manager/protector parts are struggling (firefighters). (See: Internal Family Systems).

Parts are otherwise known as “subpersonalities.”

Want to get a sense of your multiplicity?

Take a moment, get comfortable, take minimum five deep, long slow belly-aware breaths.

Check in with your mindbody, bring you focus to below your neck, and literally ask “which part of me is carrying pain?”

Notice where in your mindbody you might have a sense of that. Where is that part housed? What do you notice? Any sensations, physical twitches, a tightness, temperature change, perhaps a lightheadedness, anything like that?

Stay with it.

What else do you notice?

Now, can you sense of precisely what quality of pain or discomfort that part is carrying or managing? Sadness, fear, anger, etc?

(Thank it, literally, for giving you that information). Stay with it…

Can you simultaneously be aware of any other part or parts of you not carrying this pain? Maybe another part that feels concerned about it being recognized? Or that wants to rationalize it, or judge it? Or tuck it back away somewhere?

And how about, any sense of a larger part of you that feels none of that pain whatsoever, that’s totally separate from any of the above? A part of you that feels anything like calm, clarity, compassion.

Great job. That’s your SELF.

And welcome to (perhaps) your first sense of your very own multiplicity!

all parts welcome

Multiplicity of mind-based methods have shown me that profound change is not only possible on the internal level more quickly than I was originally trained to believe, but that the achievement of that harmony and cooperation amongst our various parts means we needn’t deny our pain, or attempt so stringently to avoid it, as both our wiring and conditioning would have us believe is necessary for our survival.

We can exchange this for greater awareness of and appreciation for our inner constellation of parts, and the promise that the more Self-Led (Led by our Larger Self) we become, the more our parts trust us, give up their burdens, and the less they need to play such extreme and polarizing roles/functions to help us stay safe.

That way joy, happiness, fulfillment and pleasure can co-exist alongside the parts of us that carry, manage and guard against the uprisings of sadness, fear, disgust, anger, and other emotions and reactions born of difficult experiences.

Joy and Woe, let it flow!

If YOU have been seeking a Nashville Therapist or a Therapist in Franklin whose a little different, who uses an integrated blend of inside the box (traditional) and outside the box (decidedly unconventional) methods to help you identify, befriend, and integrate the disparate parts of you, so you can create a healthier, more fulfilling and sustainably joyful life, then you might be interested in my Integrative Counseling service.

Visit me at: Therapy Outside the Box for more information about my services and working with me. Or feel free to email me at chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com or call me directly at 615.430.2778.

Some of my services are available virtually via Telehealth/Video on a consultation/coaching basis the world over depending on time zone reconciliation.

Peace, Joy & Woe,

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Nashville, TN

The Zen of Vacuuming

Vacuuming as Spiritual Practice?

Yes. Hear me out.

I mean, you probably already know that daily manual labor duties are part and parcel of living in monasteries, sabbaticals in spiritual retreat centers, and the like.

And I’m sure you’ve heard the saying: “Before enlightenment, the laundry. After enlightenment, the laundry.” And the Zen saying: “While doing the dishes, do the dishes.”

So yes, I’ve made vacuuming something of a spiritual practice.

And I don’t know about you, but I’m still working on full Zen-presence when doing the dishes. Not there yet. I daydream, mind wander, sometimes even huff and puff a little. But hey, it gets done. Sometimes, that’s enough.

But I have noticed something about my vacuuming responsibility that’s pretty interesting though. Something that, in the age of all things mindfulness, I felt worth sharing.

dog hairs in my craw

Since closing my office and moving my practice my home (something I never thought would happen) mid way through the pandemic (yet another thing I never thought would happen in my lifetime) my home-based duties have increased. I mean, I’m the one there most out of all of us now, so, only fair.

Here’s the thing. We have two mid-size dogs that shed like M*&%$#ers. And one, shall we say, overstuffed orange tabby cat. And a house full of women (minus yours truly), two out of three with long hair.

Needless to say, it gets hairy (in more ways than one :) fast. Like, almost immediately after vacuuming.

We all kind of all silently conspired to let the vacuuming go in our last house. It would happen maybe once a week. Upon moving 2 yrs ago, we committed to doing better. Enter my working from home, in an abode I love as much as one can love any inanimate structure.

Seeing how bad the hair situation gets on dark floors that never let you ignore it, and seeing how quickly it turns into literal tumbleweeds, I committed to vacuuming every day. The main living level at least, every day.

LA Resistance

Being out of the habit, vacuuming predictably started off feeling like a chore. And a bore at that.

I would want to avoid it, sometimes kind of rush it, *space out, and occasionally allow myself to become sidetracked, unnecessarily extending the responsibility. Once or twice I even completely “forgot” to finish it.

What I’m describing here is classic resistance. Something I talk a lot about, and work with daily in helping people to begin to see, accept, understand (contextualize), commit to noticing it in action (non-judgmentally learning and anticipating the signs), and ultimately, figure out how to outsmart, transmute and integrate their resistance.

Or rather, the part of them doing the resistance.

Regardless of what strategy or work-around we find and apply to beating our particular resistance, or what Steven Pressfield calls ‘The War of Art” in regard to creative resistance (writes block, perfectionism, etc), what’s critical—once we’ve gotten past the total avoidance stage if that’s the initial problem— is the noticing; the learning resistance’s game so well that we can’t not spot it’s warning signs, and signals of a shift.

spring in the step

Lately, a shift has taken place in my spiritual…I mean vacuuming journey.

Here’s how I knew…

First, a minor poke of actual anticipation (around the time to begin the task). Followed by the beginning of a feeling of dare I say accomplishment. Internal, apart from any “Hey, thanks for keeping up the vacuuming” reinforcement that would come over me subtly while mid-task.

That feeling was a direct result, I believe, of keeping the commitment, pushing through my resistance, starting to actually “show up” more for it, and noticing the benefit—followed by noticing a palpable reduction of resistance in exchange for actual enjoyment.

I wouldn’t say I started to love it or anything, but, as resistance lessened, as the part of me wanting to resist could see it was losing control, I noticed something else.

good *trance or bad?

In hypnotherapy circles, *dissociation (an innate, protective mental detaching capacity, or ‘spacing out’ ability, and often a trauma response) is essentially considered bad trance. Likewise, a condition like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) whereby one compulsively ruminates on a certain thought forms, and/or feels driven to perform specific acts in an automatic, trance-like state, would be a concrete example of bad trance.

Good trance being the ability to decidedly enter into or be guided into a trance state where the purpose is therapeutic— to adaptively reframe, identify and ratify our inner resources, and overcome said problems.

With my vacuuming, this is essentially what’s happened. Only without hypnotherapeutic intervention. With steady commitment and increased mindfulness (showing up + increased attention) I’ve slowly turned the bad trance (avoiding, resisting, rushing, “forgetting,”) into good trance.

Now, once I get started, I’m pretty quickly there. I’m in it. I’m with it. It’s working. Before I know it, it’s done. I sometimes even grieve how fast it went, and start looking forward to hitting it again the next day.

What’s that about!?

the “zone”

You’ve heard of getting in “the zone. The “peak performance” state we’ve hopefully all experienced at least once. Where we’ve pushed through the pain (resistance in psychological form, physical form, or both) to reach a state of action that flows (why they also call it flow state). That’s where an endeavor feels effortless, guided by something “other” than our conscious attention, and where we tend to loose a sense of linear time and feel like we’re operating outside of the trance of spacetime we’re accustomed to.

So with each passing day, with less resistance, increased ownership and pride in my vacuuming, I noticed something else resulting from reaching this flow state.

I’ve starting involuntarily making a game of it. Creating rituals and patterns of vacuum movements, which not only make the job more efficient, but more interesting.

And no doubt I’m creating new neural pathways with this shift and the daily reinforcement, which due to advances in neuroscience (neuroplasticity, neurogenesis), we now know is entirely possible. More than we ever knew when we thought the brain fully formed by 25 or whatever, and done full stop.

It’s largely about having learned more specifically about how we learn, how we absorb and retain new information, and change habits (behavior) in ways that stick. And it’s so much about non-conscious mindbody processes, which I find endlessly fascinating.

do you have to “want to?”

The old “but don’t want to do it” is the most classic, age old “out.” Everyone’s favorite procrastination trip, and the arch enemy of self-discipline for children, teens, and adults alike. If we don’t figure out a work around for the not wanting to as a child or adolescent (I was masterful at this, myself), unless we’re naturally wired for action, and blessed with low internal resistance, we’ll undoubtedly have to learn it the hard way as an adult. Where the consequences of avoidance and resistance only increase.

“Forgetting” to pay a bill is a classic adult foil.

The truth, and we all know this, is that the decision to simply begin a task has nothing to do with wanting to begin it. Nothing. Rather, it has everything to do with how much value we place on making a commitment, on strengthening our self-discipline muscle, and achieving the outcome we desire as correctly, efficiently, and painlessly as possible.

The straight line shortest route between two points.

It’s also about understanding the value of exchanging feel bad chemicals of shame and guilt that follow the immediate short term pleasure of avoiding a task with the truly feel good chemicals that come from making and keeping our commitment, demonstrating courage (in the face of resistance), proving our capability (to ourselves mainly) and arriving at true, earned confidence via consistent accomplishment (i.e. The Dan Sullivan 4Cs).

Since I mostly found my way around my own avoidance patterns and learned to get out of my way (one of my earliest Heroes Journey rites of passage) by my late 20s, refining it ever since, with most things I can turn my ship around pretty fast once I notice sneaky old resistance patterns trying to creep in.

And it really is in the noticing. The mindfulness.

I’ll be honest though. The fucking dishes might always get the best of me. I have yet to find my Zen at the sink. But, they get done. Again, sometimes that’s all we can ask.

Not everything, I contend, must be embarked on with love, or perfectionism. Sometimes, just getting something out of the way, in ‘good enough’ fashion is enough.

“Be the ball”

If YOU could use a jump start overriding old neural pathways of avoidance, resistance, rationalizing, and/or you’re someone with a stubborn “but I don’t want to” complex, I can help you identify, declare, and get fully aligned with who you really want to be in relationship with the things that must get done.

Yes, with who you want to be. Because making changes that last is ultimately about identity.

As Jim Fortin says, “You cannot do what you are not.”

Or in the immortal words of Chevy Chase’s character in Caddy Shack: “Be the ball, Danny.”

And so the operating question becomes “What would be the identity of someone who clearly has/does what I want (to have or do)?

Using the Somatic and Energy Healing approach I call Subconscious Heal and Release, we would help you answer this question, turn it into a positive, future-present identity based statement (i.e. “I am someone who…”) and use the kinesiological/Higher Self-guided process to show us exactly what’s subconsciously blocking you from being in full mind body spirit alignment with your goal, gently dissolve those blocks (i.e. traumas, limiting beliefs, stuck emotional energies) until you’re fully, measurably aligned with who you want to be.

If you’ve been looking for a Nashville Therapist or a Therapist in Franklin, visit me at: Therapy Outside the Box for more information about this and my other specialties, and about how you can consult with me from virtually anywhere in the world via Telehealth/Video.

Or call me directly at 615.430.2778, or email me at chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com

Peace, Love, and Zen Vacuuming,

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Nashville, TN