Spiritual Healing

Transpersonal IFS, Synchronicity, & 'Compassionate Depossession' PT1

I had a wild and undeniably synchronistic last week of Therapy Outside the Box. It came to head in a session which I’ll detail in PT 2, after some more processing. In the meantime I’ll set the stage, and try to present this in layman’s language as much as possible.

On that note, a few definitions of terms:

INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEM THERAPY (IFS)—A revolutionary, de-pathologizing, compassionate, shamanic-based, comprehensive therapy, life practice, and spiritual path. I discovered IFS in 2006 and have been studying and practicing it on and off ever since. At this point, with how the model has evolved, and its natural crossover with the shamanic and transpersonal and my own unfolding spiritual odyssey, I’m all in. Anyhow, IFS views our inner system/psyche as naturally multiple; both one and many, made up of 1) A core Self—the undamaged, eternal, infinitely whole healing essence within all of us, as has been written about in the great spiritual traditions for an eon. And 2) Parts (aka subpersonalities). Parts become psychically separated from the Self, mainly as a result of trauma and attachment wounds early on. Some parts carry old pain and extreme beliefs (called burdens in IFS) while others inhabit managerial roles to protect both the Self and the vulnerable parts from being exposed to more hurt. The larger goal of IFS is harmony amongst our parts, unburdening the pain and extreme beliefs our vulnerable parts carry, relieving our protective parts of the need to hyper-protect and take on newer, more updated roles, and increased trust in the Self to lead.

The qualities of Self (The 8 C’s) are: calm, curiosity, courage, confident, compassion, clarity, creativity, and connectedness.

An important ‘off-label’ concept in IFS—central to what this post series is about— is the concept of unattached burdens. These are considered to be something ‘other.’ Not originally parts of us, but things, constructs, energies— entities of unknow origin, and for all we know vast, multiple varieties. These are entities that become attached to the person (on the etheric body level I believe) with the permission of a part or parts, usually in times of extreme trauma, distress, or vulnerability resulting from overt abuse, surgery, or near-death experiences.

According to IFS lead trainer Robert Falconer, who specializes in releasing unattached burdens, these entities persuade [parts of us] to allow entrance with the promise of power to the powerless, or power in times of helplessness. We’ll get more into this with the case example to follow in PT 2. For now, note the synchronistic Divine Timing of my recent exploration into this territory, culminating in the case example to come.

You can’t make this shit up. Well, I guess you can. But no need when it happens on its own for real.

Back to definition of terms:

COMPASSIONATE DEPOSSESSION—A neo-shamanic term coined by a buddhist-trained shamanic practitioner named Betsy Bergstrom who developed this modern, non-adversarial approach to dealing with all forms of attached suffering beings. This type of spirit-release work can include the depossession of so-called ‘demonic,’ shadow beings, and extra-terrestrial (ET) entities. It’s a kinder, gentler, no-drama way of helping a spirit move towards the light. In this view, if a person who has experienced soul loss or other serious traumas have become a host to suffering beings or entities, these beings may live off of that person's energy and influence them in a variety of ways. Illness, depression, substance abuse, phobias, emotional problems, suicidal tendencies and other issues may be in part due to the influence or overshadowing of entities that have attached to the person. These beings may be people whose own experience at the time of death has become compromised in such a way that they did not successfully make their own journey to the Light.

Compassionate Depossession benefits both the person and the entity from whatever reality the being comes from. Akin to the Catholic Rite of Exorcism, but without the formality, pomp and circumstance, and with non-judgement and compassion (obviously) replacing reliance on aggression, command, authority and forceful banishment of the religious approach. One that’s often led to great harm to the individual and performing priest/exorcist alike.

SOME BACKGROUND—As you may know if you follow my blog or my Instagram, I’ve been in a post-spiritual emergence(y)/Dark Night of the Soul/Spirit Guide/Ascended Master-led initiation for a few years now. In surviving, surrendering, and integrating the experience, I was graced with a kind of claircognizant/clairsentient capacity. I’m also being prepared to become some type of channel, or so my ongoing spirit communion meditations seem to suggest. All of this is what led to my transition from more or less conventional therapist to nearly giving it all up entirely, to my re-emergence/rebranding as Therapy Outside the Box. What’s clear now is that I was always meant to go full woo woo (in the most grounded and still clinical way possible, of course ;) with my life’s work. Apparently, it took me experiencing a full on mid-life, to-the-knees-breakdown and (thankfully temporary) descent into madness to wake me up to it. Better late than never. And now the farther I go with courage, trust, faith, patience and surrender to The Divine and The Divine Plan, the more outside the box things get, with no agenda or forcing on my part. It’s fucking beautiful, honestly. I’m in awe. As they say here in the south, I’m blessed.

Anyway, as I’ve been forging ahead in curating and applying my transpersonal IFS approach, there have been a number of spontaneously shamanic, mediumistic, even psychopompic occurrences as of late. [A ‘psychopomp' is one, usually a shaman, or hermetic figure classically, who guides the spirits of the dead to the afterlife or the otherworld. In some religions, psychopomps can be creatures, spirits, angels, or deities whose responsibility is to escort newly deceased souls from Earth to the afterlife]. These occurrences have come about simply as a result of myself and my clients together formally inviting the Divine, The Christ, Holy Spirit, Archangels, Guides, Ministering Angels, Masters, ancestors, crossed over loved ones, spirit and shamanic power animals into the fold at the start of each session—to assist, enlighten, guide, direct and facilitate healing in whatever way is in the highest and best good. ‘And so it is.’

STAGE SETTING EXAMPLES:

Recently, in the middle of an otherwise straightforward IFS session, there emerged the appearance of a client’s spirit animal (A wise old wolf in this case). The wolf came through suddenly and clearly to the client with a PROFOUND, life-altering message, then proceeded to chaperone the retrieval of a young vulnerable part into the present and help guide the shamanic unburdening/transmuting of the younger part’s wounds and extreme beliefs into fire. Extraordinary.

In another case, confirmed by my higher guidance, with a young, precocious, highly intelligent and psychically advanced client who is what’s called a *‘soul walk-in’ from age 12, we’ve experienced on more than one occasion thus far the intervention of spirit guides, elementals, and cosmic/galactic culture guides, making for quite uncommon happenings with the shamanic-based IFS process. [*A soul “walk-in” is considered a higher soul, other than the original soul, that enters in the body as a result of a prior deal/contract. The original soul returns to higher dimensions while the higher soul uses the body for a new destiny]. In this individual’s case, we believe there’s a variation at play. Our understanding, again confirmed by my guidance, is that members of this individual’s soul pod (group soul) came in at age 12, in dramatic fashion, for specific reasons, some connected to the client’s difficult family dynamics, and that did not in this case include the departure of the original soul. More like an addition. Talk about multiplicity! :>

On two other occasions with a different client, immediately upon beginning the IFS process, after calling in the ‘highest and holiest,’ guides, ancestors and loved ones, etc, what I can only describe as spontaneous mediumistic visitations, or after-death communications, (ADC’s) took place. Meaning, one of the client’s crossed-over loved ones came right through with a peaceful presence, and a few uplifting, freeing messages. It was unmistakably real, natural, and healing for the client. This presence was viscerally felt, recognized, and unquestionably accepted as the consciousness of the deceased. All I can say is that is was definitely not a part, not the clients Self , and most certainly not an unattached burden/entity. No question.

In the next session, the second of two loved ones appeared, in stark contrast to those before, in a state of quiet distress—trapped between walls, seemingly dazed, in a state of suspension. My own guidance helped me intuit that this loved one was here not to provide validation of well being, or encourage my client’s being at peace, like the prior visitors had. This loved one came in need of help— to begin facing and accepting the very fact of his crossing over. And this made sense based on what we’d discussed about the circumstances of his life and passing. The client went with it, took my que, and functioned in this case as a both medium and psychopomp—providing context, validation, and ultimately freeing the loved one from the liminal/bardo state he’s been stuck in since passing, on to wherever his soul is meant to proceed from there. By the end, the walls gave way, he stood up straighter, and simply wandered off, as if exploring his ability to be spiritually mobile for the first time since shedding the body.

Of note is that for all my woo woo and personal spiritual goings on, I’m not a medium or psychopomp, nor intending to become any of these. And neither is this client. This person has no particular spiritual leanings or practice! This was an organic, but welcomed occurrence. One that’s brought about a unique and unexpected sense of healing and peace. The beginning of real closure in regards to the multiple losses incurred.

In PT 2, after I’ve gathered more of my thoughts and checked in some more with my higher guidance to be sure I’ve sufficiently understood to the degree that I can what occurred, I’ll be detailing the strangest of the strange to date: A case of unplanned and unexpected ‘compassionate depossession’ of a foreboding, imposing, dark unattached burden/entity occurring in a session literally two days after completely a training on Shamanism and IFS with a focus on unattached burdens in which I learned of the concept of ‘compassionate depossession’ and had just decided to apply for training in the method.

Stay tuned…

Nashville Voyager Magazine Feature

Pretty cool to get a local spotlight. Very honored.

Life & Work with Chris Hancock, LCSW of Franklin

Today we’d like to introduce you to Chris Hancock of Therapy Outside the Box

Hi Chris, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.

“Thank you! I really appreciate this opportunity. Well, I grew up on suburban Long Island. But my father was raised in a small town in South Georgia, so my affinity for the South runs deep! I feel totally at home here. Growing up it was really all about music. So much so that after graduating college, I reunited with old mates and we gave it go up in Boston, MA. We achieved a modicum of success through the 90’s recording two records, one for a major label, and doing a good bit of touring. But the lifestyle and the malarkey of the industry left me cold. I made my exit in 1997 to answer a loudening soul call to something higher. I returned to New York, got into therapy (again), and began taking classes. The first 10 minutes of my very first class in human development confirmed I was exactly where I was supposed to be…

Click here to read the whole story!

'There is Nothing that is not Spirit'

Lead me from the unreal to the real; Lead me from darkness to light; Lead me from death to immortality.

—Brihadaranyaka-Upanishad

“There is Nothing that is not Spirit”

Does that title not captivate you? Transfix you? Instantly resonate as truth in your bones? If not, no need to read further. But if so…

Slight digression first. So I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on Selfhood. The concept of the personal and eternal Universal Self that’s been wrestled with by various schools of eastern and western philosophy and psychology, eastern and western religious and spiritual traditions for an aeon. Modern psychologically speaking, Self—as defined and utilized as the undamaged, infinite, eternal healing essence and agent of change via Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS)— is my biggest practical focal point as of late. Dr. Richard Schwartz (developer of IFS) turned 30 some years ago to the treasure trove of eastern spiritual wisdom to inform and amplify his own clinically-informed multiplicity of mind/polypsychicsm-based conception of Self, as distinct from the many separate but interconnected ‘parts’ (subpersonalities) within us all that hold the story of our pain (trauma) and protect us in a myriad of ways from real or imagined further pain (re-traumatization).

As a longtime seeker of eastern spiritual and esoteric knowledge, in tandem with the post-dark night of the soul spirit-led initiation process I’ve found myself in over the last years (ostensibly preparing me to become some type of intuitive and/or trance-voice channel), I’ve been on a mad spree of collecting up choice, vintage spiritual writings. This, in an effort to continue often complicating, but ultimately hopefully deepening and integrating my understanding of how spirituality, personal (gnostic) spiritual experience, Selfhood, psyche, and healing converge.

Currently I’m finding inspiration in a book titled Mysticism, a Study and an Anthology, by F.C. Happold, published first in 1963. The following are some select passages from the chapter entitled “There is Nothing that is not Spirit” (hence the blog title) which draws upon on The Upanishads, the concluding portion of The Vedas, the oldest sacred literature of Hinduism, composed from about 1500 to 100 B.C.

The way Self is articulated, i.e. the various poetic yet matter of fact descriptions of its transcendent potential, inseparability from (notably masculinized) Godhead, and its eternality, is purely resonant music to my soul (if my soul had ears, that is). As is the way the sheer ineffability of the All That There Is—the Lord of All—is portrayed. For many, I imagine, this would create anxiety. Terror even. For me it brings quiet comfort. Which can only mean intuitive resonance with a deep, eternal, yet non-conscious knowing.

Select passages below are taken from The Ten Principal Upanishads, and were beautifully and clearly put into English by Shree Purohit Swami ands the Irish poet, W.B. Yeats (The Macmillan Company (first published in 1937 by Faber and Faber Ltd).

Enjoy…

The Self is one. Unmoving, it moves faster than the mind. The senses lag, but Self runs ahead.

Unmoving, it outruns pursuit. Out of Self comes the breath that is the life of all things. Unmoving, it moves; is far away, yet near; within all; outside all.

The Self is everywhere, without a body, without a shape, whole, pure, wise, all knowing, far shining, self-depending, all transcending; in the eternal procession assigning to every period it’s proper duty.

-From the Isha-Upanishad

***

The Self knows all, is not born, does not die, is not the effect of any cause; is eternal, self-existent, imperishable, ancient. How can the killing of the body kill Him?

He who thinks that he kills, he who thinks that He is killed, is ignorant. He does not kill nor is He killed.

The Self is lesser than the least, greater than the greatest. He lives in all hearts.

The individual Self and the universal Self, living in the heart, like shade and light, though beyond enjoyment, enjoy the result of action. All say this, all who know Spirit…

…Eternal creation is a tree, with roots above, branches on the ground; pure eternal Spirit, living in all things and beyond whom none can go; that is Self.

-From the Katha-Upansishad

***

There is nothing that is not Sprit. The personal self is the impersonal Spirit.

The Self is the lord of all; inhabitant of the hearts of all. He is the source of all; creator and dissolver of all things. There is nothing He does not know. He is not knowable by perception, turned inward or outward, nor by both combined. He is neither that which is known, nor that which is not known, nor is He the sum of all that which might be known. He cannot be seen, grasped, bargained with. He is undefinable, unthinkable, indescribable.

-From the Mandookya-Upanishad

***

This Self is nearer than all else; dearer than son, dearer than wealth, dearer than anything. If a man call anything dearer than Self, say that he will lose what is dear; of a certainty he will lose it; for Self is God [!]. Therefore one should worship Self as Love. Who worships Self as Love, his love never shall perish…

-From the Brihadaranyaka-Upanishad

***

In this body, in this town of Spirit, there is a little house shaped like a lotus. And in that house there is a little space. One should know what is there.

What is there? Why is it so important?

There is as much in that little space within the heart as there is in the whole world outside. Heaven, earth, fire, wind, sun, moon, lightning, starts; whatever is and whatever is not, everything is there.

If everything is in man’s body, every being, every desire, what remains when old age comes, when decay begins, when the body fails?

What lies in that space does not decay when the body decays, nor fall when the body falls. That space is the home of Spirit. Every desire is there. Self is there, beyond decay and death; sin and sorrow; hunger and thirst; His aim truth; His will truth.

-From the Chhandogya-Upanishad

Pax, Godspeed!

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

www.therapyoutsidethebox.com

chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com

@therapyoutsidethebox

Franklin, TN

615.430.2778

Kindness

Do you weep a little while reading this like I did?

Kindness

A poem by Naomi Shihab Nye

Before you know what kindness really is

you must lose things,

feel the future dissolve in a moment

like salt in a weakened broth.

What you held in your hand,

what you counted and carefully saved,

all this must go so you know

how desolate the landscape can be

between the regions of kindness.

How you ride and ride

thinking the bus will never stop,

the passengers eating maize and chicken

will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,

you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho

lies dead by the side of the road.

You must see how this could be you,

how he too was someone

who journeyed through the night with plans

and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,

you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.

You must wake up with sorrow.

You must speak to it till your voice

catches the thread of all sorrows

and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,

only kindness that ties your shoes

and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,

only kindness that raises its head

from the crowd of the world to say

It is I you have been looking for,

and then goes with you everywhere

like a shadow or a friend.

The Great Reset = Global Digital Dictatorship?

“They are going to turn your home, car, and your community into a digital concentration camp with absolute control along with the technology to enforce it”

—Catherine Austin Fitts

Does the above quote sound extreme? Like science fiction? Horror? Paranoid Fantasy?

I’d have been at least partially inclined to think so pre-2020. But with all that’s gone on in the world since then, arguably going all the way back to 9/11, and reflecting on things like Huxley’s Brave New World, the prescient work of Rudolph Steiner, or even what George Carlin always warned about through his subversive dark comedy, well, maybe not so extreme. Or fantastical.

I don’t spend much time ‘inside’ the box these days. I watch no current television or corporate mainstream news. The coverage of the politically weaponized pandemic has proven to me beyond any doubt that all corporate media, if it wasn’t already, has been captured and thoroughly corrupted by the agendas of the unholy alliance of three branches of government: Big Agriculture/Food, Big Pharma, and Big Tech. It’s now almost entirely propaganda curated to to manipulate, instill fear, divide, and manufacture compliance and consent. That’s the goal of all propaganda, of course. To add to it, internet mass tech-led censorship, shadow banning and kabuki theatre quotient is off the rails.

For me, the insane goings on in our consensus reality clown world, especially the geopolitical Global Dark Night we’re experiencing—archetypal and spiritual implications aside— has had to mostly take a back seat to staying grounded and focused on what matters: family, health, work, and my spiritual development and initiation odyssey. Yet, I follow along and know enough to be dangerous, as they say. I know whose views and opinions I trust, why I trust them, and why not so much others.

As I write this, in real time, most of the country seems more than happy to be dramatically distracted by the soon to be totally irrelevant Oscars’ slap heard ‘round the world. Meanwhile, as you know, Russia is slaughtering Ukrainians while robbing their own citizens of what little rights and sovereignty they had to begin with. And as you may not know, because there’s been little to no mainstream coverage, mass killings have been going on in Ethiopia. The threat of global food shortages are looming. At minimum there seems to be a renewed cold war mindset taking hold.

More to the point, just last week our current sitting president recently literally declared the oft-labeled conspiracy theory of the Globalist-led New World Order to be not only real, but upon us and in full swing. And that we, the U.S. must lead it. Remember when the ‘New World Order’ was like the reigning crown jewel of discredited conspiracy theories? Me too! Remember when UFOs were branded swamp gas? Pure fantasies of tin foil hatters and/or delusions of the desperate for attention, or the ‘mentally ill?’ Me too! Even the mystically-minded Jung ultimately chalked the phenomenon up to non-physical archetypal projections of the collective unconscious. And there’s probably something, some element of that at play. But can non-physical projections, figments, holograms, fantasies or illusions be tracked on radar like the military has been releasing?

In any case, it’s a New World alright.

And insofar as this NWO is [allegedly] synonymous with the Klaus Schwab/World Economic Forum-led Great Reset Globalist Agenda in which we will all ultimately “own nothing and like it” and have our every thought, feeling, decision and action monitored, scrutinized, and controlled, effectively severing what little remains of our own personal sovereignty, freedom, liberty and privacy… well, I’m paying a bit more attention here and there now.

Few can describe what led us here better than Richard Dolan, who is in my view a cosmically-inclined but utterly grounded genius and visionary. Although I’d say Dr. Peter Breggin, M.D., author of Toxic Psychiatry, long considered the ‘conscience of psychiatry’ is doing a good job opening eyes from his side of the street as well. He also sees a dystopian digital ID nightmare on the horizon. Breggin’s recent book COVID-19 and The Global Predators: WE ARE THE PREY (2021) is one shocking account. It’s all I could do to get through it. Unless you’ve already read Peter Gozsche M.D.’s Deadly Medicine and Organized Crime: How Big Pharma Has corrupted Medicine (2013) and already know the bitter truth about the complete hijacking and corruption of much if not most of our medical system and scientific establishment—from education to testing and research to diagnostics to billing to patient care— by the pharmaceutical industrial complex, and you’re ready for the morbidly ugly backstory of the recent pandemic and all the implication thereof, then I’m actually not recommending it. Can’t un-know how the sausages are made.

But should we be surprised?

“Nothing in this world works the way you think it does. Banks do not loan money. Governments are not empowered to protect you. The police department is not there to serve you. Institutions of higher learning, colleges and educational institutes are not there to educate you. The entire superstructure of the Western world is a combination of brilliantly put together and well-planned schemes to direct the minds of the people in such a way as to serve their masters.”

-Jordan Maxwell, Matrix of Power

Holy red pill.

In any case, back to Richard Dolan. He’s best known as an academic historian turned preeminent UFO researcher and author. But his scope has always been far wider than just the UFO enigma. In this video, he summarily breaks down the stages of humanity’s evolution, up through the emerging Great Reset that he reclassifies as The Fourth Stage: The Global Digital Dictatorship. I post it for anyone who may wish to get up to speed and/or expose themselves to a new alternative, expansive view of where we’ve been and where we seem to be headed, like it or not. Please view with your discernment, intuition and critical thinking up front.

So, beyond staying informed as possible via what I intuit to be non-corrupted sources, while I’m by nature eternally hopeful and possibilistic [despite the red pill pragmatic realism expressed here] I’m not sure what any one of us can do to alter the potentially more sinister giveth-and-taketh-away elements of the apparent globalist agenda descending upon us. Not to mention the darker aspects of the technological AI and Transhumanism agendas. That is, beyond the only thing we ever have total control over— praying for peace, for the forces of light, truth, and the highest good to prevail. And remaining mindfully and intentionally focused on our own healing, awakening, consciousness elevation, spiritual growth, embodying of love and compassion, and kindness to one another.

That’s first and foremost the priority for myself and most of those who work with me here in Therapy Outside the Box.

I hope, wish and pray the same for you, whoever you are, wherever you are.

“Find your inner self and fight the good fight”

-Richard Dolan

Godspeed.

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Franklin, TN

www.therapyoutsidethebox.com

@therapyoutsidethebox

615.430.2778.

Love as Practical Christianity/Love as Action

In this world hate never yet dispelled hate. Only Love dispels hate. This is the law. Ancient and inexhaustible”

Buddha

from an alternative source…

As a “chela,” (i.e. student on the [esoteric] spiritual path) I aim to follow where spirit/higher guidance leads me. As far as knowledge acquisition, lately that’s been further down the rabbit hole of the Ascended Masters. Specifically, the teachings of the rather obscure “Bridge to Freedom” dictations from the 1950’s, collected and published by the Ascended Master Teaching Foundation (AMTF) out of Mount Shasta, CA.

I’m currently being inspired by a book called The Seven Mighty Elohim Speaks: The Seven Steps to Precipitation, by one ‘Thomas Printz,’ a pen name for one of the Masters. In super short, the Elohim, mentioned in the Old Testament, are considered to be primordial beings of all creation, at the behest of The Divine. Precipitation is the original term/conception of what today is referred to as manifestation and/or law of attraction.

The dictations brought though in this book describes the ancient spiritual science of precipitation— the seven conditions/states of mind, feeling and attitude necessary to bring something-anything from idea-thoughtform into matter-form, just as the Elohim enacted the Seven Fold Plan of Creation of the universe as we know it, according to these teachings.

Being that we’ve found ourselves playing war games (Russia upon Ukraine) once again, and the mightiest forces of Truth and LOVE are the only thing that can save us, for those of us that seek first and foremost The Kingdom of God, and a spiritual solution, here’s part of a chapter that lit my heart up a little bit. My hope is that it will light yours up in kind.

Love as practcial christianity

“This morning I come as a messenger of God to bring to you the activities of Orion (Elohim of LOVE), and to give you some comprehension of LOVE as practical Christianity.

Precious hearts, it is not the law that one should remain in a state of negative harmlessness. That is not LOVE! LOVE is a very positive quality. To fulfill the law, one is required to be positively good. Would it be LOVE for one to stand on a river bank and watch a man drown? No! LOVE would plunge into the stream and bring the man out, while there was yet life in the body.

It was LOVE which took Lord Buddha from the glorious peace, freedom and opulence of his kingdom and made him walk the paths of the earth, trying to find a way to relieve his fellowmen from those distressing appearances of poverty and suffering which shocked his sensibilities. It was LOVE that kept him rising in consciousness, through sphere after sphere of God perfection, until he reached the very heart of creation itself. Then he returned to the limited appearance world and his own physical body, in order to bring, to his fellowmen, the truths which he had learned in those great heights.

After one’s consciousness had been enmeshed in the discord and limiting appearances of physical embodiment for so many ages, it takes great LOVE not to succumb to the beautiful peace of the inner spheres, after one has arrived there. Quite naturally, the tendency then is to just lie down in the first green pasture, saying “This is it!!”

It takes a great deal of Divine LOVE to desire to keep rising in consciousness, from realm to realm, pushing ever onward, until one has found the source of all truth, and then rest, even if just for a moment, on the bosom of the eternal Father. What LOVE it takes to deliberately determine to come back into this world of form, with its forbidding shadows, after having successfully made that journey, and felt the beautiful presence of God, Himself! It was positive LOVE which brought Buddha’s spirit back to Earth, through sphere after sphere of beautiful God Consciousness, back into the hot burning sand of India, to walk again (apparently like any other man), just to carry truth to others.”

love as action

“It was LOVE, precious children of God, which spurred Moses on to draw the reluctant people of Israel away from their flesh-pots of Egypt, in an endeavor to find their “Promised Land.” It was LOVE which made him walk across those deserts and, in the extremity of their need (part the Red Sea), which stood between the people and their protection they desired from Pharaohs' army, which followed them.

It was LOVE which took Moses up the side of Mt. Sinai, when the clouds of discontent, fear and lethargy of the Israelites had all but put out the fire of his vision. Sometimes, he knew not whether he was still a messenger of God, or whether he had become a victim of Fantasy! It was LOVE which held him on the pinnacle of that mountain, while God, in his great mercy, gave Moses the positive affirmations of truth, the Ten Commandments. Here he received them and cut the words, thereof, out of the very rock itself. These same Commandments have remained, at least as a portion of the law from God to man, ever since that day. However, through the shadowed consciousness of mankind, those commandments, representing the Divine law, have been distorted into the negative form of “Thou Shalt Not.”

It was the LOVE of those who stood with Moses, which upheld his arms at the time when, because of the very pull of gravity, he could no longer hold them up, himself, in his endeavors to magnetize the power of the Lord, to give people victory.

In Galilee, it was LOVE that enabled a young man (with a body of such perfection as had not been known since on the earth-plane and filled with a LOVE of springtime) to willingly lay that body upon a cross, submitting to the crucifixion. It was LOVE which burst the tomb asunder on Resurrection Morning and LOVE again that which enabled out beloved Jesus to make the visible ascension, in the presence of some five hundred people. It was the LOVE FOR GOD which enabled a man, who had a greater capacity for affection and friendship for any being than any being that mankind had yet known, that enabled him to renounce further association with his beloved mother and his loved ones, to answer the summons of the eternal Father— proving that the conscious ascension was possible for all!

After that ascension had taken place, it was a positive LOVE which carried Mary into Bethany with John, Peter and James, and it was LOVE which enabled them to establish there the unit which held the spiritual connection with beloved Jesus, through all that long period of thirty years and more, before Mary was called “Home.”

It is LOVE which brings Lord Michael (The Archangel) from his realm of perfection to serve in the psychic plane twenty hours out of every twenty four, as he has been doing for some years now. It is LOVE which brings the assistance of all the other Ascended Masters and Cosmic Beings into the atmosphere of Earth, to answer your calls. LOVE IS POSITIVE, CONSENTRATED ACTION, TO ASSIST MANKIND AT THE MOMRNT OF NEED—according to the receiving capacity of the lifestream which makes the call.

It is LOVE which sends certain lifestreams to the leper colony, joyously willing to give whatever assistance they can to the afflicted there. It is LOVE which makes the men or research work so persistently— often at considerable self-sacrifice—to bring forth those scientific findings which have proven to be of such assistance to the race. It is LOVE too which brings the comfort of convenience of your inventions into the use of man in his everyday life.

WITHOUT LOVE, NOTHING IS PERMANENTLY ACCOMPLISHED, without LOVE, the clearest vision retains but a cloudy vapor!

LOVE IS CONSTANCY UNDER THE MOST TRYING OF CIRCUMSTANCES AND ACTION AT THE MOMENT WHEN IT IS NEEDED MOST!

LOVE was signified by Abraham when he willingly laid Isaac upon the altar of sacrifice. That which was dearest to him, he offered to the Lord!

LOVE is the pouring forth of the fully gathered momentum of the good of your own lifestream for the good of all. Let lips be sealed which speak of LOVE if they cannot manifest that LOVE in action—in service—not mere words! It was LOVE which brought me here this morning and LOVE which brought you too, LOVE of God, LOVE of service, and LOVE of yourselves. All these entered into it and brought you here.”

Pax, Lux, Veritas,

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Franklin, TN

www.therapyoutsidethebox.com

615.430.2778

New Year, Zen Mind

Repost via Jeff Krasno’s Commune Commusings. I’ve always admired Marianne Williamson’s spiritual and sociopolitical conviction, passion, outspokenness, and dedicated embodiment of the core concepts put forth in Course in Miracles (a channeled text, incidentally). My own view has evolved away from the contracted classic spiritual position of ego/fear vs. love binary, in favor of a Multiplicity of Mind/IFS-informed view of the ego as a collection of protective parts. Parts in need of understanding, unburdening and integration with the Larger Self. As opposed to vilification, devaluation, or eradication, as some spiritual traditions still espouse. Nevertheless, I align with this topical message, especially the call to return to love; to a D.T. Suzuki-like Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind state. And I think she’s right. In this current climate, we do need a fucking miracle. And that starts on the internal, individual level. Enjoy.

New Year, Zen Mind

by Marianne Williamson



In the opening weeks of the New Year, our holiday-addled brains can take a moment to rest and reset. The most powerful somethings emerge from a space of no-thing; like the empty rice bowl often referred to in Eastern philosophies, it is a space left empty for the Tao to fill. 

The empty rice bowl is what in Zen Buddhism is referred to as the “beginner’s mind” — when ideas and images from the past are let go, thus making way for synapses and connections in the present that would not otherwise be possible. “Be ye as a little child” is much the same concept, with the consciousness of children so powerful precisely because they have no past to drag along with them. They know that they don’t know, which makes them teachable.

There is a saying often heard in AA: “Your best thinking got you here.” Western civilization might want to look at that. With all the geniuses who have lived among us, all the enlightened philosophies and laws that have been passed, all the think tanks and institutions of higher learning that exist — and yet we are still inches from the cliff. 

Western materialism and scientific thinking have not in fact delivered humanity from our worst nightmares; it has relieved us of some of them, to be sure, but it has created others. The naive idealism which led us to believe that external powers would be the saviors of humanity has crashed against the wall of ultimate reality, challenging us now to radically rethink. 

No matter how smart we are – no matter how scientifically or technologically advanced, and no matter how much financial or political power we have – without humility we are misguided, without ethics we are blind, and without love we are doomed.

So what do we do? What trick of the outer world does anyone think is going to save us now?

What’s going to save us is a more evolved state of consciousness — a shift in our thinking that takes us beyond the judgment, blame, fear and negativity that stand like shadows before the light. In A Course in Miracles it says it’s not our job to seek for love, but to seek within ourselves for all the barriers we hold against its coming. That makes all the difference in the world, because miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. When we withhold love, however, we deflect the miracle.

The only antidote to the myriad crises of our times – the hopelessness, cynicism, anger, and nihilism; the environmental degradation, systemic injustices and possible paths to fascism – is a miracle. It’s an inside rather than an outside shift that will expand our awareness, rearrange circumstances on our behalf, and pave the way for new beginnings. It says in A Course in Miracles that “Miracles are everyone’s right, but purification is necessary first.” What we most need to purify are the thoughts that hold us back.

The most powerful thing we can do as we start this new year is to clear away our impediments to love. That means doing the work, and the work can be messy and difficult. 

Who have we not forgiven, including ourselves? 
What are our character defects that make us obnoxious to others and self-sabotaging to ourselves? 
What are the tricks we play that keep us small and victimized? 
Where does our disengagement and complacency make us unconscious participants in the downward trends in our society? 
Where are we selfish, needy, controlling, angry, arrogant…? You get the picture.

This work done by enough of us on a personal, individual level is the path that will lead to global transformation. Only a critical mass of those who love deeply can counteract the power of those who do not love at all.

Love is the natural intelligence that runs the universe. So where there is love, life works pretty well. Things proceed in alignment with the same intelligence that turns acorns into oak trees and embryos into babies. When love is withheld, the system gets jammed and intelligence malfunctions. It still operates, but in an inverted, diseased way. Only when love returns – through atonement and forgiveness – can nature self-correct. “All hands on deck” is better stated “All minds on deck” right now. Each of us affects the whole, with every thought we think and every action that we take.

No one person, piece of legislation, or action of any kind is going to turn things around now. Human civilization is a very, very big ship that is heading in the wrong direction; it will take a massive operation to turn it around. That operation is the collective zeitgeist of our time: billions of people all over the planet now responding to a call that is coming from deep within all of us to do things a different way, to think and be as we have not thought or been before, to let go the past and let the future be made new. And with love.

That’s a lot of work we have to do this month, and nothing will help us do it more than spending enough time reflecting and doing nothing. In the words of Martin Luther King, Jr., “We’re materially passive but we’re spiritually active.”

So must we be now.

 

This essay is a reprint from Marianne’s substack, where paid subscribers receive daily meditations, monthly zoom calls, and more articles. Learn more at mariannewilliamson.substack.com.  
 

• • •

Marianne Williamson started lecturing on A Course in Miracles in 1983, and since that time has written 14 books (including four #1 NYTimes bestsellers), founded the non-profit organizations Project Angel Food and The Peace Alliance, worked extensively with people dealing with life-challenging illnesses and other critical situations, counseled hundreds of individuals and organizations, and been a political activist. In 2020 she ran for President of the United States.

J.O.Y.

Are you familiar with this traditional evangelical Christian teaching? I was not. Not this specific one. That is, until a previous client—a remarkable, intelligent, loving, caring individual who recently came back to begin bravely unearthing the roots of early religious trauma brought it to my attention.

I’m sure much has been written on it elsewhere. I haven’t looked. I just felt moved immediately upon hearing about it to present one therapist’s view of how teachings like this can easily set the stage for foundational interpersonal and emotional problems, not to mention spiritual confusion and disillusionment.

While I’d not heard of this particular concept, the essence of it— Self last in particular—is the scaffolding behind much of the psychological, emotional and interpersonal damage and toxicity I’ve seen throughout the years of facilitating recovery from the effects of oppressive religious dogma. Most from the indoctrination of uber-conservative Christian churches (Southern Baptist, Church of Christ), some from isolated insular religious (Amish, Mennonite, etc) communities, and a few from bona fide non-Christian cults (Children of God, Scientology).

Ya learn something knew (almost) every day.

But before I go any any farther, let me be clear. This is NOT about disparaging, judging or condemning anyone’s faith, system, path, or practice. There will be no indictment of Jesus or Christianity.

My background

I was raised Methodist. And liberally so. I’m fortunate that my insatiable questioning, curiosity, and truth seeking from an early age was at least tolerated. Well, except by my maternal Grandmother, who, God love her, would always just say “It’s Jesus, Mary and Joseph, and that’s it!!.” In any case, the tolerance otherwise was a very good thing, because nothing was going to put an end to my questioning. That’s for damn sure.

I was also blessed in my later twenties to have a mentor-mentee relationship with a quiet but brilliant, naturally compassionate assistant Methodist minister who turned out to be just the non-conforming Zen Universalist in sheep’s clothing I needed to encourage my seeking without rejecting or abandoning anything in my ever-evolving worldview. Equally as blessed was I to meet my therapist-mentor at about the same time— a former Franciscan priest with a resoundingly Gnostic/Universalistic heart and expansive Interfaith outlook.

My own spiritual quest, studies and many mystical experiences have only encouraged me to follow my intuition to an inclusive view that celebrates the unifying thread of the major and many lessor known philosophical, spiritual and religious schools of thought. More recently, my personal post-DNOTS/Awakening/spiritual initiation is guided by an assortment of guides, masters, saints, sages and cosmic culture collectives all aligned with larger Christ Consciousness. Since the onset of all this, I pray the Lord’s Prayer and Hail Mary Prayer, a few Gnostic mantras, and a custom surrender-in-service type decree, and recite a set of I AM ‘Violet Flame’ decrees nearly every day. I wear a Maltese Cross and a Mother Mary pendant around my neck —a reminder of the Divine mercy, guidance, love and support I received in my darkest hours.

Would I call myself a Christian? That’s what many would want to know, down here in the buckle of the belt anyway. The answer is yes and no. Yes because I recognize The Christ/Christos as archetypal Divine Master, Prophet, Wayshower of Truth, and Liberator. So yes, but more so in the gnostic/esoteric than the traditional (and what I view as limited) canonical sense. And no because I generally oppose labels and categorization especially in the spiritual realm. I couldn’t authentically identify as a Christian (neither did Jesus, the passively radical, peacefully anti-authoritarian Jewish Messiah that he was) to the exclusion of any other genuine, life-affirming path or teaching I align with. In my heart, I could be just as much a Catholic, a Buddhist, a Taoist, a Spiritualist, a Theosophist, a Universalist. Yet, I’m not one of these, exclusively. I see all p,aths as ‘fingers pointing to the moon,’ none the moon itself. J Krishnamurti taught that ‘truth is a pathless land.’ I’m with that. It resonates as objective truth in my heart and soul.

In short, in the immortal words of the Doobie Brothers, “Jesus is just alright with me, Jesus is just alright, oh yeah!”

J.O.Y.

Okay, so if you’re still with me, let’s get to it.

Jesus First. Others second. Yourself last.

Not rocket science. I understand the intention. To teach the Christian value of placing ones focus, love and heart on/with Jesus, above all. To place others before and above oneself—ostensibly, to deflate the selfish ego and maximize ones self-less attention in service to our fellow man, grounded in the ‘shirt off the back’ ethos exemplified by particular teachings and examples of the biblical Christ.

On the surface, perhaps, a beautiful idea. Maybe?

Now, any teaching, we could argue, takes on a life of its own beyond the creation and original essence of teaching itself. Similar to a songwriter’s song. Until it falls on any other ears and merges with the idiosyncratic subjectivity of the listeners psyche and assignment of meaning, it’s the artist’s and the artist’s alone. Vacuum sealed in a container of the actual inspiration and true original meaning. Once released, all bets are off. In a sense, the listening public now owns, adopts, and assigns an infinite number of meanings and applications to that piece of art.

So a teaching— in this case a religious/philosophical one— like an original song, painting or other work of art, is of course wide open to interpretation and practical application. How it’s understood has much to do with the intent, delivery, the larger context in which the teaching is adopted and delivered, as well as the expectation(s)- real or perceived, spoken or unspoken- in putting the teaching forth. As well as the receiver/students receptivity, psychological and emotional makeup, and what he or she understands as to where the teaching originates from, what its about, how it is to be applied, and probably most especially in the case of evangelical Christiandom, what the rewards and consequences of either living out or failing to live out the teaching would be.

selfless or self-less? (anything but “selfish”)

A Secure Sense of Self.

Arguably, the goal of all good therapy, inside or outside the box as it were, is to assist in fostering this. Yet so few of us have it coming in, so well does culture and the world at large begin eroding it from birth onward. And many religious institutions and teachings, well-meaning as many are, only aid and abet this erosion, I’ve found.

One of the most common themes in my work, literally from day one, has been around emotional and relational boundaries. Boundaries in the way are a natural outgrowth of the health or lack of health of our secure sense of Self. As I’ve spoken about before, the very first words my very first adult client ever spoke to me was: “I can tell you what my problem is. I can’t say no.” I tell you I’ll never forget this.

Women, in my experience, especially struggle to identify, set, communicate and maintain healthy, solid boundaries. Meaning, knowing where they end and the other begins. Where their responsibility lies. The struggle to be responsible to and not for others; to discern the difference between healthy helping/giving and dysfunctional enabling/disempowering. I see more women than men struggle with this for two reasons: 1 Women come to therapy more than men (more courage!) and 2 Women are socialized and culturally conditioned to be selfless / self-less / self-denying. Traditional patriarchal religious teachings on the whole do nothing to offset this. More often, they reinforce it, if only by omission.

The individual, my client, who brought J.O.Y. to my attention is a good case in point, but might as well be a composite since the overall dynamics are so common.

J.O.Y. unmasked

My client, having been raised within an evangelical philosophy and community in the south, in a home marked by paternal alcoholism, apparent narcissistic patriarchal, traditional ‘kept woman’ dynamics, and all around dysfunctional family roles, the church was the focal point of my client’s world most of their childhood.

The father, who was a type of lay leader for much of my client’s childhood, was the quintessential roost ruling, heavy handed king of the household with a penchant for getting let go of just about every job or position he had, usually for being too difficult to get along with. He was a “do as I say not as I do” espousing, behind the scenes hard drinking partier who set impossible standards and regularly scolded and invalidated my client for being “too much,” too emotional” and “asking too many questions.”

My client’s one sibling, a younger brother, appeared to inhabit the golden child role—something of a Jungian puer eternus (‘eternal child’) who seemingly magically escaped the critical eye and flew under the radar. My client was clearly the scapegoat, or, in older family therapy speak, the “IP” (Identified Patient). That’s the child in the dysfunctional system who receives the projection of the all the marriage and the family’s denied and disowned problems, along with the blame. Not a fun role. Although all such roles suck, because they’re all false facsimiles of who the child really is.

Hence, the roots of having no secure sense of Self. How would anyone even have a shot at this when they’re not even seen?

Religion appeared to be used in this household in all the worst ways. As a ‘out’ for the parents with respect to their denial, hypocrisy and harmful parenting, as a tool of coercion, a punishment in the classic ‘you’ll go to hell’ type of way, and a way to reinforce/justify the limiting family roles, especially that of the Mom/wife and my client.

And it sounds like J.O.Y was the go-to instrument of shame. So frequent were early instances of my client demonstrating appropriate reasonable desire, want or need—any indication of a thought of Self (before Jesus or others) that it would be met with the J.O.Y. stick, so to speak. Before long, my client learned what any child, pre teen or teen would eventually learn when a teaching like this is routinely misapplied in a psychologically abusive manner:

I don’t matter. I’m selfish. My needs will never be met because I’m unworthy. I’m a failure. I’m unlovable (by God/Jesus and others). All that’s important is pleasing others—that’s where my worth lies.

The mom herself appeared to have deep, religiously-informed esteem and security deficits, subservient and codependent, with underlying depression and anxiety problems that only further reinforced her sense of brokenness. This set the stage for a pattern of denying indiscretions on the husbands part—overlooking replete with self-blame and recrimination which funneled in part back to her own perceived failing to uphold her duty to perform her wifely and householder functions. Church doctrine and the good old boy evangelical system likely contributed to the brushing under the rug and providing of cherry picked scriptural counsel that ensured full responsibility on the husbands part for his actions would never take place, as well as spiritual chastisement for the wife’s sense of core unworthiness.

Almost needless to say, the marriage eventually ended via an affair. And with the addition of the new partner— a classic alcoholic enabler in her own right— the Father/abandonment wound on the part of my client would proceed to be ripped open and salted again and again throughout early adulthood.

rescuing and re-enactment

As mentioned, this client worked with me years back, but we never got much into the early religious trauma. As I recall, our work then centered largely around the effects of the fathers hypocrisy, mistreatment, emotional bait and switch abandonment, my client’s fraught friendships, and professional discernment themes.

Now ready to put the other pieces together, the J.O.Y concept had began reverberating in my client’s head, as if Higher Self were offering a skeleton key to unlock the secrets of the painfully distorted ideas of what being a sovereign, valuable person looks like. And what being in healthy relationship means, what it requires, what equality and true reciprocity looks like, and what a healthy partner is and should aspire to offer in return.

While this client long ago essentially turned away from organized religion, it was replaced, as it so often is, with a ever-evolving SBNR (spiritual but not religious) metaphysical outlook. Yet psychologically, emotionally, and relationally, J.O.Y had been running things on auto pilot since the get go. Specifically the Others first, Yourself last.

You could say, as my client now would, that J.O.Y., or the way it was administered, was a set up to becoming a professional level, unpaid rescuer.

Every one of the client’s romantic partnerships—from first serious love interest on—characteristically became some version of lopsided, dramatic, emotionally and verbally abusive, resulting ultimately in a sense of abandonment: a reflection and most common outcome of the core unworthiness wound (modeled by and absorbed from mother) and reinforced through the heavy handed, shaming way in which the J.O.Y. teaching was administered. The denial of needs, the lack of clear personal self-value, core relational values, and lack of boundaries led the client again and again to select the familiar: emotionally immature, dishonest, often substance-abusing partners (mirror: father) all too willing to take, to use, to siphon off every ounce of codependent energy in whatever form (sex, money, shelter, various forms of ‘help’) was willingly offered.

The last two partners, self-described polyamorists or ethical non-monogamists, appeared to haven no discernable ethics to be found. Giving authentic, integrous polyamorists/ENM’s everywhere a bad name (yes, they exist), both partners in their own ways evidenced callous disregard for the client whenever any objection would be raised as to their not walking the talk. And in both cases there appeared to be an unspoken expectation that my client agree to simply overlook or put up with anything she didn’t like, thus re-enacting the original patriarchal narcissistic patterns with father, father’s pattern with mother, and remaining true to the problematic essence of J.O.Y: putting Self last.

The rescuing concept, once my client was ready to dig into it, and now with the beginning to understand the roots, hit like a ton of bricks. With this last relationship as a catalyst—seeing the toxic dynamics in clearer light, and more unable to stomach giving in again and again to manipulative, albeit covert, requests for rescue, in this case financially by an otherwise able-bodied adult whose admitted priority was partying, seemed to break the camels back. Righteous anger!

For the first time recently, able to see and truly discern the difference between healthy helping and dysfunctional enabling, with abandonment fear in tow, my client found the will to test out the responsible to, not for concept. As a stop gap measure, we identified some ways of helping/giving distinct from rescuing, more along the lines of helping another learn to fish rather than repeatedly catching them fish, as the old Christian parable illustrates.

We’re now starting to incorporate intuitively-guided Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) to assist the parts of her most directly impacted/burdened by the J.O.Y-related abuse burdens and concurrent dysfunctional beliefs.

But the joy-less rescuing tendency runs deep, as this tendency does in most who unconsciously employ it as an attempted, yet bound to fail, solution to childhood attachment wounding. In this case even beyond intimate relationships and friendships and into race-based activism efforts that, for all their purity of intention, are laced with the same shirt off the back victim-rescuer dynamics that often ensure similar dysfunctional patterns and outcomes. Why? Because, in my experience, anyone treated like a victim in need of rescue, as much as they may consent and allow it, unless they’re wholly actively involved in helping themselves, they ultimately resent it. That resentment turns to persecution of the rescuer, who then in turn feels victimized i.e. “for all I did for you, this is the thanks I get?” Thus completes the Drama Triangle (see: Stephen Karpman) in action. And around and around it goes.

Ultimately, what pulls us onto the triangle is the unwillingness to assume complete responsibility for ourselves, and hold others (adults) responsible for the same. When we’ve been trained or indoctrinated to see others as helpless/victims (usually a projection of our own unhealed helplessness/victimization) with the help of teachings like J.O.Y. that often teach and reinforce our own essential unworthiness and ‘selfishness,’ we’re especially ripe for living our lives and relationships on the triangle.

wwjS?

What WOULD Jesus say about J.O.Y?

Would Jesus think it sound? In integrity? Reflective of what’s in the highest and best good for all? Reflective of Absolute Truth?

In the course of mentalizing about this concept and writing this post, I submitted the query to my own Higher Guidance. (More about how this came about can be found here). For what’s it’s worth, all such inquires on my part are approached with care, humility, reverence, and the surrendering of all ego based, conscious, unconscious and personal agendas, biases, expectations and attachments to outcome.

The answer? To each of the above questions it was a “no.”

I then tested my own hunch about a revision that might be more sound, integrous, in the highest and best good, and reflective of Absolute Truth.

“G.Y.O.” God first. Yourself second. Others last.

(Doesn’t have the same neat ring as J.O.Y. I admit).

The answer? “Yes.” To each of the same queries: “Yes.” Are you surprised? I’m not.

Two personal principles at play in my own revision here:

One is, Paramahansa Yogananda’s frequent admonition: “GOD FIRST!” which I’ve always loved and resonated with. Because he truly lived it. His whole life was a testament to it (See: Autobiography of a Yogi).

It also reminds me of Apostle Paul’s admonition to “…pray without ceasing…”

Jesus himself also either taught or co-signed concepts like ‘Seek Ye First The Kingdom of God,” “The Kingdom of God is With You” and “Be Still and Know that I AM God” while himself essentially refusing to be personally deified.

And didn’t Christ offer plenty of examples from his own life of exceptional personal boundaries, of not allowing oneself or others to be taken advantage of, and even the appropriate use of force? (See: flipping tables over and throwing money changers out of the temple, calling out the Pharisees as hypocrites, etc).

The other is the oxygen mask principle. The idea that we cannot safely, truly help another unless and until we have helped ourselves. That we cannot pour (give) from an empty vessel. When we do, all parties lose.

So, what if it was God First. Yourself next. Others last?

Of course, putting oneself before others can be taken to unhealthy extremes of judgement and uncharitable-ness. That’s not what I’m suggesting with this revision. But in addition to the above, if we are all a spec of the Divine, a drop in the ocean and an ocean in a drop—and if we are all part of an interconnected, inseparable whole of the mind of God, then to deny or subjugate our own Selfhood—our essential worth— our own hierarchy of personal needs— is to deny our own divinity; to deny the whole.

I believe all of our overall emotional and interpersonal health and well being as spiritual beings having a human experience could stand to benefit greatly from this re-ordering. Once we’re dialed in on our fundamental worth, solid in our boundaries, clear on our values and sense of purpose, we’re then in a prime position to more fully inhabit our gift to the world. And to go forth serving our fellow man without rescue compulsion, undue self-sacrifice, or self-abandonment i.e self-betrayal.

If YOU are looking for an ‘outside the box’ Nashville Therapist or a Therapist in Franklin, TN to help you face religious trauma, deconstruct or deprogram from destructive religious dogma and/or cult indoctrination, my Integrative Counseling and/or my Spiritual Support specialty might be just the thing.

I’m also available via Telehealth/Secure Video from virtually anywhere in the world (provided we can make the time zone differences work).

Visit me at: Therapy Outside the Box or contact me directly at chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com or call me @ 615.430.2778.

Peace, love, and G.Y.O.!

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Franklin, TN

A Pre-Death Experience


Depressed Man Plans Suicide,
Taken To Meet God Beforehand


from: www.iands.org


The following is the monthly Near-Death Experience (NDE) or Spiritually Transformative Experience (STE), provided as a service to members of the International Association for Near-Death Studies (IANDS), an organization of which I belong. This selection was taken from accounts submitted to IANDS. IANDS is grateful to those who have sent accounts of their experiences, and so am I. I decided to share it here.

In this near-death-like experience, a somewhat atypical one, a suicidally-depressed young man is taken out of his body, hears God’s voice, and learns how God experiences his life. He feels unconditional love and suddenly realizes he wants to live to help others by showing them grace and love. Since returning to his body, he has been bombarded with information, and he has studied many of things he was told. His understanding of God’s expectations of humanity offers freedom from the dictates of religion and of humanity’s ideas of God’s demands. Although he still doesn’t have all the answers, he finds that sharing his experience is a comfort. 


Hi, my name is Josh. I am not sure who to talk to about what happened to me but I feel the need to share this. I, as far as I know, did not have a near-death experience, but something similar. I had never even heard of near-death experiences until my experience, which caused me to search everywhere to see if what happened to me is normal.  

First, I will tell you a little about my past. I had a fun and loving childhood. In middle school I "got saved." During middle school I started going through some type of depression. Years later, I decided that it probably was hormonal youth changes or something. The depression lingered around, even while having a good life. It became disturbing that I could never pinpoint why I struggled with depression. I always tried to be nice to everyone and most people were nice to me. In high school I went through some real lows through my parents’ divorce, and I didn't have a clue who I was or what my purpose was in life. I prayed and fought with God, trying to understand life. 

One night I felt as though I wasn't able to live anymore. I went and found a pistol that my mom kept in the house. We had just gone to the shooting range a couple weeks before, just to make sure it still worked in case of ever having an intruder come in the house. I took the pistol behind the house and got on my knees, praying to God that I'm sorry that I had to do it but I just couldn't stay here any longer. I was sobbing but I put the gun to my head and pulled the trigger. It just clicked. I pulled it over and over and it just kept clicking. I threw it down and screamed that I couldn't even kill myself. I told my mom what had happened and she took me to get depression medicine. She had the gun checked and apparently the firing pin had broken, which was not a common thing. The medicine made me feel like a zombie and I tried several more with no luck. So, I quit trying after a year and tried to go on with life.  

I got married in 2006 to my high school girlfriend, whom I'm still married to. In and out of depression, we had our first child in 2008. After we were pregnant, I had many new questions arise, like how am I going to raise my boy when I don't even know how to live. I decided to actually read the Bible myself this time instead of just mainly listening to preachers. It was shocking. I took the Bible very literally and the Old Testament painted a very different picture of God than I had thought. I had always questioned how a loving God could send anyone to hell, but that was my only problem. Now I had more. I decided to get a concordance to look into the Hebrew and Greek words of the Bible, which instantly caused me to start questioning the hell that I was taught. My struggle started then with God and why all the confusion in this world if he loves us. That pushed my depression deeper and deeper.  

In 2017, I decided to give up on God. He never really answered me anyway. Is he even there?  If he is, is he someone I would actually want to love anyway with the way things appeared to be going on earth with his creation? Accept Jesus or go to hell?  What about all those born in different parts of the world with very different religious beliefs? Is it their fault they were born into another religion? 

I started doing things that I wanted to do, without all the guilt. I decided to quit playing the world's game and choose my own path. No regrets and no worries about what others thought. Giving up on God was fairly easy, but I couldn't help but care about what others thought, which still led me to some degree of guilt.

I decided that the only way to quit playing the game was to take myself out of it. I felt like if there was a hell, it couldn't possibly feel worse than what I felt in this world. So, I talked to my wife, who stayed with me through all of my chaotic mind mess and depression. We had three children by this time. I told her I couldn't do it anymore. She knew that I felt suicidal already. I was always open with her. She said she wanted me to be happy no matter what that means, even though she would be horribly sad without me. She asked if I would wait one year. Try medicine and therapy the whole time to give it one more really good try. I agreed.  

I found a therapist that I liked and finally found some depression medicine that was bearable. I was still depressed though. Almost every time I left the therapist’s office, I felt better though. That better lasted an hour or two most of the time and then back to reality which was the depression. I was happy knowing this was it, my last year. As the months got closer, I could feel the relief coming. Almost excitement about my planned suicide in the January to come.  

One evening in November I got home from playing basketball with some friends. We played every Tuesday. I didn't get home until about 9:15 pm that night and my wife and kids were already in bed. I took a shower, put on pjs, and made a bowl of cereal to eat while I watched some TV. A few minutes of TV and a few bites of cereal in, I found myself in complete darkness. I was just in my recliner eating cereal and now it felt as though I was standing up in a completely dark room, all alone. 

I was confused but not scared. Then I heard a voice that said, "Look." I somehow knew it was God and didn't even question it, like it was just completely known to me. Then a sound started up like an old roll movie film projector. It was clicking, then a light was in the right side of my vision. Then the movie started and the voice said, "This is your life." It was from my earliest childhood until the present. It felt as though I experienced all my life in one moment. Then it was dark again. Then the voice said, "This is your life and how you see it." The projector started back up and started rolling again, only this time there was like an EKG graph above it. You know, with the horizontal line down the center and how it spikes like mountains above the line. But it could also spike like mountains below the line, too. Every moment of my life, the spikes would go above the median line if I felt I did something good or below the line if it felt like I had done something wrong or bad. It went all the way through my life again, with many peaks and valleys on the chart. Then it went black again. Then the voice said, "Now, this is how I see your life." The film started up again with the same graph above it. This time the line never moved. It stayed flat in the center, never peaking or valleying through my whole life. About half-way through my life review this time, I started crying horribly. 

I fell to my knees in the dark, sobbing. I had never felt love like that before. True love. No judgments whatsoever. True unconditional love. In that state, my love was reciprocating back to God as he was giving it. I had no choice. As his love poured into me, it went straight back to him in perfect loving harmony. This was God. The true God. No lies. No BS. True perfection. 

Then it entered my awareness, like information pouring into me, I knew instantly that I actually could kill myself and it would be perfectly okay. But I answered that statement with a resounding, “NO! I can't leave now!”  With this information or "good news," I had to stay. I wanted to stay. Not for me, but for anyone else. I knew then that I had to stay to show grace and love. Even if it was only to one person, it was worth it to stay. If I could only hold the door open for one person, or carry groceries for one person, or help out anyone in any way, I had to stay. God could take me at his choosing, but I was choosing to wait for his timing for my bodily death. And while I am here, I am here for them. By them, I mean anyone and everyone. Even if it’s just for kind conversation to the lonely. Anything at all. I knew I was changed forever.  

I came back into life right after. I was instantly back in the recliner, TV on, bowl of cereal in my lap, with a wet shirt where tears had been dripping from my face. I was in shock from what had just happened. I knew that what happened was even more real than anything. There was not one bit of doubt about what had happened and there hasn't been any doubt since. 

That was in November 2019 and it is now October 2021.  My life hasn't been and will not ever be the same. I didn't say anything, not even to my wife for a little while. I didn't want to get her hopes up. The next morning, I got up and started cutting my depression medicine in half to start coming off of it. I was off completely within a month. I did this because the doctors warned me about coming off abruptly. I didn't tell my wife that I came off. I also didn't schedule any more therapy.  

Something else accompanied my experience and still does to this day. Every day or two for about six months after the initial experience, I would receive knowledge or information that would blow my mind. At first, I didn't know what was going on or if it was true. Then I started researching some of the things that were being given to me. I looked into all religions. I had never studied any other religion before because I was told that I would possibly be deceived by the devil and lose faith in Jesus. I looked into history, especially first civilization history and epics and myths. I looked into astronomy/astrology, science, math, quantum everything, philosophers, scientists, so many things. As I would receive information I would search for confirmation and I always found it. It was like I learned more in one year than my entire lifetime.

The truth that I know now is that God is Everything and Nothingness. We are a part of God and we are perfect. This whole world is still evolving and so are we as people, constantly expanding and growing and understanding. Everything is as it should be and it couldn't be anything other. It only feels other than that when we start making claims to things. Judging things. Possessing things. We are here to be alive. To be living. We get to witness ourselves and all of God's glory, which is everything. The persons that we believe we are, are only fiction. We made them up in our minds. Lol. We actually made up everything and now believe in it. We made up right and wrong, good and bad, up and down, and all the objects we've named and given them meaning and created their usefulness. But that is our creation. Not God's. God's is just for us to be. That is it. He takes care of everything else. 

And He is perfect for us, knows exactly what we want, need, desire, fear, love. He knows it more intimately than a mother knows her child. Because He is not only our Father, mother, brother, friend, counselor, teacher, etc. He is Us and We are Him. I found out that we are One, thinking we are separate. So how you treat someone is actually how you are treating yourself. And how you treat yourself is how you are treating others. Literally.

I found out that once you know God, your trust in Him becomes one hundred percent. Naturally. Not trying. When you know how much he loves, you would not put trust anywhere else. So even if you "think" something is bad or good, just know that doesn't matter. It's always for you to grow, learn, and eventually find yourself/God. I know this may sound weird, and I could go on and on forever, but it just feels good to put some of this in writing. If anyone is reading this, thank you so much for your time. Bless you.  

Readers may contact the author, Josh, at jback1036@gmail.com. 

Editor's Note: The typographical presentation is the same as what was submitted.

ISGO  l  NDE Radio  l  NDE Accounts  l  Book Store  l   YouTube Channel
 

International Association for Near-Death Studies (IANDS)

Founded in 1978, the International Association for Near Death Experiences (IANDS) is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit corporations. It serves as the center hub for near-death experience networking, research, information, programs, and events. IANDS publishes the scholarly, peer-reviewed Journal of Near-Death Studies. Members from around the world include researchers, experiencers, educators, medical professionals, academics, and others.

Have YOU had a near-death experience, near-death, or pre-death experience similar to this account? In my Support Experience Support (SEE) specialty I work with ‘experiencers’ on exploring, making meaning, and integrating all manner of non-ordinary experiences. In-office in Nashville / Franklin TN or via Telehealth/Secure Video from virtually anywhere.

Visit me at: www.therapyoutsidethebox.com for more information, or email me at: chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com or call me directly: 615.430.2778.

Spiritual Bypassing: An Alternate Take

Much has been written already on the topic of spiritual bypassing. Not reinventing the wheel here for sure. But it’s been on my mind a lot lately. That’s usually a sign something’s wanting to come through about it. Let’s see what that is…

To my knowledge, the phenomenon was originally spotted (framed as Spiritual Materialism) by the Buddhist master Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche in his classic work Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism. And transpersonal writer and healing practitioner Robert Augustus Masters offered an honest treatment in his book Spiritual Bypassing: When Spirituality Disconnects Us from What Really Matters.

Masters also elsewhere humorously referred to spiritual bypassing as “Avoidance in Holy Drag.” I howled when I heard that.

In any case, Masters wrote:

“When transcendence of our personal history takes precedence over our intimacy with our personal history, spiritual bypassing is inevitable. To not be intimate with our past- to not be deeply and thoroughly acquainted with our conditioning and its originating factors keeps it undigested and unintegrated, and therefore very much present.”

Meanwhile, the term spiritual bypassing is said to have been actually coined by author and Buddhist meditation teacher John Wellwood in the 80’s who described it as:

“…a tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.”

Spiritual bypassing therefore a form of denial, describing the way that we can essentially deceive ourselves into using spirituality to separate us from honestly feeling our emotions, and employ various aspects of spirituality in defending and deflecting from our faults and shadows. So it’s essentially what the term implies— an [unconscious] attempt to spiritualize away our emotions, internal conflicts, maladaptive character traits, compulsions or addictions, or our larger physical and relational real world experience— the boots on the ground problems in living we all must contend with here in earth school.

While there’s really not much new to add definitionally, or descriptively, as with almost everything, there are differing lenses in which to view and attempt to understand it.

(Later, I’ll off a view through the lens of Multiplicity/Polypsychism).

I should note that some aligned with the new age/lightworker community have argued, perhaps rightly, that the term itself— especially when hoisted upon others— is merely a judgment. Nothing more. Fair. But that’s just the surface. The tip of the iceberg. Because insofar as all judgments of others are in essence projected self-judgement, and the identification and exploration of what’s being held in contempt and/or disowned (and therefore ripe for projection) is the entirely of the berg underneath the water line—and the where the real opportunity for healing and integration begins.

Composite case example: ‘The Penultimate Buddhist’

There’s an anecdote of one self-proclaimed staunch, militant Buddhist (as oxymoronic as that may seem). Someone who displayed a reflexive habit of frequently injecting their seriously spiritual Buddhist self-identity into all conversations, and developed a reputation over time for being sharply, harshly critical of others who claimed, practiced, or spoke about Buddhism in any manner they perceived to be somehow inferior (clue) to their [ungrounded, grandiose] image as the measuring stick of what it means to be a true or real Buddhist.

Long story short, sources would have it that one day someone of erudite status within the particular Buddhist tradition they aligned with spotted and pointed out this toxic trait directly to them. It was done so in a way that was compassionate yet direct, incisive yet fair, and that encouraged fearless self-examination and transmutational exorcism of the internal source of the apparent need to act as the self-appointed “Buddhism Police,” as evidenced by this compulsive ‘calling out’ others with a gross lack of compassion. Something especially curious given that cultivation and demonstration of compassion is such an essential, revered quality in the philosophy and practice of all schools of Buddhism.

It appeared, as the story goes, that this quantum karmic cause and effect schooling landed so hard that they soon after wholly renounced Buddhism, under the apparent guise of no longer needing to align with [i.e. ostensibly suddenly transcending] any formalized tradition, philosophy or school of thought, reverting to a pathless, generalized agnosticism of sorts. And while there’s merit and wisdom in any sincerely arrived position of ‘no middle man required,’ this is considered a textbook psychospiritual case study of shame-based, emotionally driven, hostile reactionary throwing out the baby/neurotic solution to the pain of imposter-like exposure; of being faced with and having to own years of long-projected shadow-driven bypass (and all that it was masking) in action.

Had there been just a wee bit of felt access to internal security in the tenuous sense of spiritual identity, and a modicum of pre-existing esteem and self-compassion, this would have been a golden, true awakening-level opportunity for transformation into a more genuinely secure, relaxed, flexible, life-affirming personal spiritual odyssey— one more stably aligned with Buddhist tradition and practices, the beginning of a quiet confidence, and probably more of a “live and let live” harmonious interplay with fellow spiritual travelers.

Though it may appear to be, this anecdote itself is no casting of judgment. Rather, an albeit extreme case illustration of the curious yet common ways in which many a spiritual aspirant—from the newbie to the ‘fully enlightened’ master guru— subtlety (or not so) can become seduced and ultimately captured by the insidious lure of spiritual bypassing— as a protective psycho-emotional phenomenon. Just think of the numerous master yogis and spiritual teachers accused and often found guilty of perpetrating abuse of power crimes, usually of a sexual nature, upon their own disciples. The complex thirst for power/domination, the lust impulse, our very own sexual nature, when denied/repressed (or “exiled”) with the support of both cultural and spiritual taboo, are common fodder for spiritualization bypass attempts. And unfortunately wakes of victims are behind to recover from the wreckage.

Now, we all deny shit. We all project. We’re hard-wired for it, it seems. And we all judge, on the thought level at least. Full stop. And haven’t we’ve all engaged in at least a little though doth protest too much behavior, that which thinly veils— until it fails and ultimately reveals— our underlying self-doubt and insecurity in reference to that which is being so hotly protested?

Sometimes our projections and judgments latch on to the most unlikely of things, appearing in the most paradoxical, even downright *seemingly hypocritical of ways. Reinforcing once again, our utter humanity, including that which may be so ornately adorned in “holy drag” cannot mask forever. *And I say seemingly, because all hypocrisy, all hypocritical positions and attitudes existing within a person can be understood and reconciled when viewed simply as parts or subpersonalities maintaining extreme, polarized positions within the individual Self-System. (More on this later).

As one of my early professors taught, absolutely anything and everything can be used as a mechanism of defense; of self-protection. Even spirituality, spiritual identity, spiritual allegiance, spiritual pursuit, spiritual status, spiritual attainment, spiritual accomplishment— right down to the most simple, private spiritual practices themselves.

personal example

During the first wave of my spiritual emergence from the murky depths of my Dark Night of the Soul experience some years back, not long after the blistering energetic darkness-piercing Violet Flame infusion I received from my apparent Ascended Master gateway guide during a surrender-fueled meditation one day, I started to recognize that a part of me was trying desperately to latch on and ride that wave of bliss right into unearned, unintegrated transcendence, never to have to be bothered with the workaday world again.

In fact, the first video podcast I did (on a platform that no longer exists), when I went back and watched, showed it to me starkly. I was excited, riding the wave. And while coherent, I was clearly not fully grounded, half in the clouds. In a state of what in Transpersonal Psychology would be called ‘Transpersonal Elation.’ A bypass attempt on the part of some part of me was in full force effect.

Three years and many more mystical events and happenings notwithstanding, here I am. Still in the body. Awaken-ing, but far from enlightened. Just living, loving, consulting, providing therapy, receiving therapy, succeeding, failing, boxing training, communing with nature, meditating, surrendering, decreeing and initiating each and every day. Waxing on, waxing off. And better for it. Because, there is no bypass. No shortcuts. No ultimately successful ones anyway.

The longer we remain in the grips of a part of us bent on bypassing our normal everyday pain, responsibilities, normal human needs and desires, the heavier the lifting on the other side. And the longer the road to the heightened self-awareness, peace, emergence, transcendence, transformation, Shangri-La, or wherever it is we most hope for.

These are the kinds of things I help people with, along with psychedelic preparation and integration (important to avoid bypassing-ready parts of ourselves!) and the exploration and integration of all manner of mystical and non-ordinary experiences in my Spiritual Support specialty called Support for Extraordinary Experience (SEE).

signs and signals

How do we know if we are, or at risk of, spiritual bypassing?

On the most obvious surface level, maybe by and through the level of ferocity, rigidity or righteousness with respect to our spiritual views, practices, or identity. The more fierceness, humorless seriousness, the more inflexibility, defensiveness, need to explain, pronounce and proclaim, the more social imaging, grandstanding, sense of specialness and/or to the degree we become intolerant of others who may question, think, act or believe differently, the more there is, likely, bypassing at play.

Likewise, the more we might be ungrounded, not in our body/disembodied, floating up above it all, tending toward denying and discounting our worldly day to day needs, and striving to literally transcend [rather than befriend, integrate, transmute] our human faults, frailties, sensitivities, foibles, and problems— we might be well on the way to the airy fairly bypass express train, only to arrive at gate number rude awakening.

How else might we know?

For sure, through our projections. Our judgements. Specifically, by what we’re hotly reactive to in and about others.

An old saying in recovery is if you spot it you got it. More to the point, if you spot it and you’re immediately and intensely reactive to it, ya probably got it. Meaning what we’re reactive to is ours denied. Our issue being projected.

We are crazy, complex creatures, are we not?

modern spin

I look at many things through the lens of Multiplicity of Mind/Personality. This is the philosophical and psychological perspective that we are, paradoxically, both one and many; that we all have a Self (i.e. Larger Self, Authentic Self, True Self) and subpersonalities, or parts, as we call it in Internal Family Systems Therapy, or IFS.

Historically this view has been grossly misunderstood, stigmatized and psychiatrically pathologized. Fortunately, that’s changing, albeit slowly.

In any case, some parts are young, vulnerable child parts (exiles). Some are protectors (managers) of those young parts and our Larger Self. Other parts (firefighters) snap us into extreme action (dissociation, substance abuse, spending sprees, compulsive spending, etc) when our internal systems threatens emotional overload, so to speak. (In our case example above, a ‘firefighter’ part likely would have initiated the face-saving denouncement of Buddhism, ostensibly in a effort to keep the extreme burdens and beliefs that young, vulnerable exiled parts were carrying from overwhelming the system, that normal protector parts were beginning to fail in their task of keeping exiled).

In IFS, anything that’s not the Self (characterized by the qualities of calmness, clarity, curiosity, compassion, creativity, connectedness, and courage, for example) is a part. Meaning, when we feel much of the energy of Self, then our Self is driving the bus. When we feel a lot of anything other than qualities of Self (anger, shame, anxiety, sadness, etc), then the exiled part of us carrying those burdens for us are driving the bus, obscuring our sense of Self, and therefore, our connection and embodiment of our seat of consciousness, soul, or true spiritual core.

So can a part— a protective part of us— hijack our however otherwise innocent and pure spiritual intent, behavior, practices, or spiritually-based worldly identity in the service of protecting us from encountering another part of us that’s carrying a heavy load of something unpleasant, or inducing us to engage a behavior that would be say contrary to our idealized spiritual identity? You bet. And this is often precisely the internal psychic mechanism behind the bypass itself.

But our parts are not to blame. All parts are just doing their job. In fact, in this way of thinking, nothing and no one is to blame.

‘no bad parts’ / ‘all parts welcome’

This stance is what I love about the IFS model and approach. It takes this stance unapologetically and without exception that there are no bad parts of us. Of anyone. Just parts whose pain, burdens, and roles in the psyche/system are not yet understood. Parts who may be frozen in time, playing extremely polarized roles within the system, and performing extreme protective functions, even in highly destructive ways.

But no matter what a part feels, believes, or is trying to do for us (always a positive intent) they are essentially good. Once accessed and once their story is told, all parts and what they’re trying to do ultimately makes sense. Then they can be helped to unload the burdens of the old pain and beliefs they carry and be guided in adopting new, more up to date roles in our system in service of the Larger Self.

Such as in the case example cited above, a part that has initiated spiritual bypass with the hopes of steering us clear of other parts carrying serious pain can, like any part, be helped to unload, take on a more functional, harmonious role with other parts as well. That way, the spiritual pursuit, and spiritual practices can be more cleanly engaged in the service of grounded transpersonal awareness, awake-ness and integrated elevation.

Are YOU seeking to cut through your spiritual roadblocks? Have you recognized a tendency toward spiritual bypassing, or a pattern of avoidance in general on a level that’s thwarting your larger growth goals? Take heart! These are just parts of you trying to protect and help you (albeit not in the most big-picture helpful way). Let’s get to know them, help them unburden, and take on newer roles aligned with Self.

If you’re seeking an integrative, transpersonal, psychospiritually-oriented Nashville Therapist, or a Therapist in Franklin, or, if you’d like to consult with me via Telehealth-Video from virtually anywhere, visit me at: Therapy Outside the Box … or email me at: chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com …or call me directly @ 615.430.2778.

Peace, Love, and Spiritual Integration,

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Franklin, TN

'Past Life' Trapped Emotional Energy?

“I have absolutely no fear of death. From my near-death research and my personal experiences, death is, in my judgement, simply a transition from one state to another.”

-Dr. Raymond Moody

condundrum

Confession: I’ve always been on the proverbial fence about past life-regression and past life information in general. I question the accuracy, veracity, validity, and practical utility of information gathered through regressions in general for a host of reasons. And maybe specifically that which is identified as originating in a past life. I tried a session once over a decade ago. The practitioner was lovely, experienced, and seemed completely legit. But it went absolutely nowhere. And I’ve heard similar accounts time and again, as recently as two months ago.

During a recent reiki session-trade in which my very talented practitioner on her own brought through information about a past life of mine in Egypt, I was seen as the son of a Pharaoh, and quite a student of the esoteric mystery schools. She connected this to my current and ongoing personal spiritual initiation process [documented a good bit here.] While this is super cool, and plausible given my lifelong esoteric interests, the pragmatist in me points out that she also knew something about what I’ve been experiencing spiritually in this stage of my life. Did that knowledge colored, even unconsciously, what she felt she was bringing in, being aware that I was open to and even seeking clarity about this. I don’t know. But, let’s say it was true and factual information, in absolute terms. It begs the question, what value is there to it exactly? I’m still pondering this.

But I digress a bit.

By contrast, reincarnation, as at least a strong possibility given my position on in the eternality of the soul, makes perfect sense to me. Always has. How could one lifetime be enough to learn all that our soul’s yearn to learn, experience, overcome? Seems nonsensical that we’d be given just one shot. Not to mention I feel the soul is multidimensional in nature anyway—that at least some souls have likely having lived and experienced lives in multiple dimensions through space and time.

Then there’s the problem of linear time as we understand it being largely an illusion. And the concepts of the multiverse and the operationally quantum and fractal nature of the universe calling into question (in my mind anyway) how if there really is only an eternal now, and/or multiple simultaneously levels of now, then is any lifetime we’ve lived before really past?

All this to say, is it possible that the term past life is a misnomer?

Regardless, plenty of ancient historical sources of wisdom suggesting our living multiple times, reincarnating, and the existence of past lives is fascinating. Dr. Brian Wiess’ work (‘Many Lives, Many Masters,’ etc) is especially compelling. And I often recount his own daughters account of a past-life regression that uncovered the exact origin of her sight-threatening eye condition to her amazement and satisfaction (after multiple regression attempts that turned up nothing, incidentally).

Trapped emotions

In the field of Energy Psychology (EP), there’s an understanding that the bodymind can and does harbor the ‘energetic signatures’ of trauma. And there’s thousands of years of ancient traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) that suggests the same. Some of this energy that becomes energetic blocks and contributes to dis-ease on the physical level is even understood to be gestational via generational inheritances—energetic signatures passed on from one generation to the next until someone heals and clears it out.

Using my higher guidance/claircognizant/clairsentient ability (as informational source/pathway) and muscle testing, albeit an auto-version (as mechanism) I find this to be the case time and again when we get to this point in my Subconscious Heal and Release® healing and alignment approach.

Using this method, when we identify a trapped emotional energy signature blocking a person’s alignment with whatever target goal we’re addressing, after double checking it, I inquire through my higher guidance as to whether this is the person’s own trapped emotional energy from experience in this life, or a generational inheritance. It’s usually one or the other, but sometimes both. When there’s a generational component, I then inquire as to whether it’s a maternal or paternal inheritance, then trace it back to it’s origin point (Mother, Grandmother, Great Grandmother, etc).

Then I’ll ask “Is there any more about this [trapped emotional energy] that ______’s higher self would wish him/her to understand better or explore further? Often it’s a yes. Then I use my guidance to identify “age of cause” of whatever occurred that caused the emotional response to become trapped energy. Sometimes it can help to ask higher guidance if it was a singular/acute incident or event, or something more global/general resulting from an accumulation of emotional energy, such as being the result of ongoing dysfunctional or high conflict family situation, or what have you.

Once we identify what we believe it was that caused the emotion to become trapped (and once that’s confirmed by higher guidance) we ask if there’s any more about it we need to know. If its a no, we move on to the healing and releasing part.

past life emotional blocks?

Up until recently, after roughly three years of curating and applying my Subconscious Heal and Release® approach, in concert with my higher guidance, all information about trapped emotions locate them as originating either in the person’s experience in this lifetime, or they are generational, or both. Yet suddenly, about a month or so ago, I started getting a no to both inquires. The trapped energy was neither the person’s own from this life or generational. Leaving only one other point of inquiry that I could imagine. Past lifetimes.

And wouldn’t you know it. Bam. There’s been three cases to date of this turning up in the last few weeks.

You might wonder like I did (and still am wondering) why now? Why all the sudden is there past life trapped emotional energy in those who work with me? Why not before? Is this really accurate? Truth be told, I have no idea. I do believe the information to be accurate, because the process of divining information from Source/God Mind/The Field/Collective Consciousness/Cosmic Reservoir (whatever you might call it) is pretty spot on. And people tend to connect to what comes through informationally and typically feel an intuitive and/or somatic shift when we heal and release whatever has been identified as a block in their bodymind.

But why now are past life origins of certain trapped emotional energies turning up, I know not. To some degree, with any process that can be considered spiritual/psycho-spiritual or transpersonal, there’s is a degree of faith involved. The evidence of things unseen. I’m comfortable with that. My clients tend to be as well. And they tend to trust me, believe me to be in-integrity, and trust this process. For that I couldn’t be more grateful.

But damn, it’s not always easy to not really know!

I conjecture that this past life stuff may be arising now in connection with my own personal spiritual growth and development, my intuitive expansion, and/or the stage of this spiritual initiatory process I’ve been in for a few years and running now, ostensibly in preparation for becoming some kind of trance voice channel. Perhaps this info is alos coming through now because of the collective consciousness leveling up. Or, maybe it’s more a happenstance by-product of the particular folks seeking me out now who happen to be carrying significant past-life-based energetic blockages, whereas no one before had.

What value?

So far, my clients with whom we’ve turned up past life originations of trapped emotional energy have found it compelling. They’re open to it, but holding it loosely just as I do. These days, since going Outside the Box, I tend to attract and work with possibilists, just like myself, so that’s no surprise.

In the end, regardless of origin, the goal is to identify the blockage, understand what [higher guidance says] should be understood about it, then get on with clearing, healing and releasing it. The purpose of which is to achieve ‘10 out of 10’ mind body spirit and ‘all parts’ alignment with our goals.

Alignment in this sense can be understood as the elimination of subconscious, mindbody-based resistance to whatever is in our highest and best good. Whether a block is ours, a generational inheritance, or something carried over from a past life, the value of clearing it out is the same. As to the value of understanding the origin, that’s idiosyncratic to the person. Up to each of us.

Are YOU seeking a Therapist in Nashville? A Franklin, TN Therapist? Interested in consulting with me from a distance via Telehealth/Video from virtually anywhere?

Visit me at Therapy Outside the Box to learn more about the Energy Psychology-based approach discussed here, my Spiritual Support service, Integrative Counseling or my intuitively-guided approach to Internal Family Systems therapy.

You can also email me at chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com or call me directly at 615.430.2778.

Peace, love, and past life energetic clearing :>

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Franklin, TN

"Shadow Work:" A Modern Take

“Everyone carries a shadow. the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag, thwarting our most well-meant intentions.”

”Shadow is that hidden, repressed for the most part, inferior and guilt-laden personality whose ultimate ramifications reach back into the realm of our animal ancestors.”


C.G. Jung

Most would agree that the great Carl Jung did much to popularize the western understanding of the “shadow.” Yet the concept itself is ancient. It has timeless eastern/esoteric spiritual and shamanic roots that Jung was well-acquainted with.

Jung’s own ‘confrontation with the unconscious’ engaged with gusto throughout his now much better understood dark night of the soul/descent into madness trials with the release of the Red Book shines the light, so to speak, on the depth of commitment to understanding and integrating his own shadow/unconscious contents.

Fascinating too that even though as we’re only now entering what’s being called the age of embodiment, Jung himself spoke (such as in the above quote) way back when to the necessity of not only making conscious but embodying that which we access.

Shadow defined

The shadow can be described many a way. In essence, and in short, I understand it as the various aspects of our private inner experience—of our psyche—that we have a vested interest in remaining unaware of. Unconscious of. The experiences, emotions, traits, proclivities, tendencies, views and corresponding behaviors we’re most likely to have ‘repressed,’ and keep suppressed, by definition then, are what we’re most prone to project out onto others and the world. Because that energy has to go somewhere.

“What we resist persists” the saying goes.

“A man who is unconscious of himself acts in a blind, instinctive way and is in addition fooled by all the illusions that arise when he sees everything that he is not conscious of in himself coming to meet him from outside as projections upon his neighbor.”


C.g. Jung

Projection can be understood as the outward persistence of what we resist (owning). And projection, it’s said, is hard-wired. As hard-wired as attachment—as that we are social creatures hard-wired for connection.

Both projection and attachment can be seen in a fresh light, through a modern lens, but I’ll come back ‘round to that below.

Back to shadow…

Individuals have shadows. Families have shadows. Organizations and institutions have shadows. Religions and Spiritual Traditions (all of them) have shadows. This is probably why there’s so much truth to the adage “For every ism is an eventual schism.”

Countries have shadows, too. In fact, there’s a whole psychoanalytic subfield of study called Psychohistory founded upon the view that all socio-political dysfunction, all international conflict— wars and such— can be largely reduced to the outward projection of shadow contents. It’s a bit myopic (and projection-laden itself?) but a rich and interesting view.

If you’ll indulging me in reaching back into my traditional ‘inside the box’ psychodynamic training vault here for a minute, one concept that’s always stuck with me from which to consider shadow contents comes from the standpoint of these three essential intrapsychic positions of how we organize our internal experience:

Good Me / Bad Me / Not Me.

(There’s an interesting corollary to other triune concepts like the Drama Triangle: Victim, Rescuer, Persecutor. And the related Transactional Analysis Ego State Theory: Child, Parent, Adult that I’ll maybe attempt to tackle in another post).

Anyway…

Good Me contents would be all the aspects of ourselves that are ego syntonic; free of inner conflict and outwardly applauded, positively reinforced, clearly welcomed as societally acceptable. Early on these would be the traits and behaviors that our families, schoolteachers and other authority figures deemed “good;” desirable, pro-social, and encouraged more of. Good Me contents are easy to lead with, rewarding to own and display.

Bad Me contents would be those traits and behaviors that received negative reinforcement, negative attention, withdrawal of affection or approval, and outward consequences. In the absence of much Good Me reinforcement, many of us overdevelop our Bad Me positions, becoming rebels with or without a cause, and taking more and more anti, rather than pro positions.

Because, especially as children, any attention always beats none. Every time.

When Bad Me is effectively channeled, transmuted, sublimated, great things can be accomplished. Great subversive art can be made. Great social change can be accomplished. But for Bad Me presentations to be truly effective, it must conform to the Dylan Paradox, based on Bod Dylan’s famous assertion that “To live outside the law, you must be honest.”

In most reasonably well adjusted humans, Bad Me contents are usually judiciously engaged, selectively demonstrated, and controlled/controllable.

“The disowned part of self is an energy– an emotion or desire or need that’s been shamed every time it emerged. These energy patterns are repressed but not destroyed. They are alive in our unconscious.”

John Bradshaw

Now the Not Me is where it gets interesting and connects most directly to the shadow theme.

As the name suggests, this is the repository of disowned aspects of Self. The so-called deeply ‘repressed’ contents—the experiences (traumas most especially), traits, thought forms, emotions, attitudes and corresponding behaviors that would be most universally considered unacceptable, unconscionable, even anti-social/sociopathic. In other words, that which is most antithetical to the stability and the Good Me image of the individual.

Think of this as the deepest, darkest part of the shadow-dungeon.

Not Me forever connects in my mind to the treasure trove of spiritual wisdom that largely reduces a healthy mind, and corresponding fulfilling life, to the ability to accept all of ourselves. All of who we are. This means all of what we’re capable of. And we’re all capable of everything and anything that anyone else is. The idea is that ultimately, there are no new thoughts, no new emotions. That all of what we think, feel, perceive and experience, so some extent or another, has all been thought, felt and experienced before. This extends to the idea that given the right (or “wrong”) set of variable/conditions— we are all capable of anything. Right down to the most horrendous acts. All of it.

“I AM THAT” proclaimed Sri Nisargradatta Majaraj as the penultimate liberation and doorway to the Supreme Soul of the Universe.

We are One. We are Everyone and Everything.

Practical Not Me example:

On the more straightforward and common end, take a tendency toward judging others. In this case with a rigidly devout, overly pious, traditionally ‘God-fearing’ individual where such a thing might be considered un-Godly, even sinful.

This neurosis about judgment could easily become Not Me to the individual operating within a such a system of strict conformity and constraint that the mere capability— let alone demonstration— of judgement toward another would be a threat to the likely fragile, inauthentic, at least under-developed self-concept. As well as an affront to the group ethos and self-identity, thereby awakening the possibility of deep shame, abandonment/rejection and/or reprisal.

Given that everyone is capable of and experiences judgmental thoughts at times— an inescapable truth as long as we’re housed in the body— it would leave such an individual no choice but to outright ‘disown’ the very existence of this tendency, banishing it forever into the “shadow.” Ironically/paradoxically, said individual then likely becomes gripped by the counterforce—a compulsive urge to crusade against judgment itself and/or those that 'judge others.

Most of us have seen this time and again, notably in our most conservative public evangelists and political figures. Though doth protest too much, right?

On the opposite end of the spectrum, take adult sexual attraction to children. A psychosexual proclivity toward pedophilia. Outside of some periods of ancient Greece where there was actual cultural support for such attraction and behavior, very few modern adults would outright own and exhibit such deviancy. The aberrant trait itself therefore easily become Not Me (or Bad Me, or even to some degree Good Me in private, shadowy like-minded circles) and thereby it would find expression in all manner of distorted, projected, shadowy, underground ways. Because the energy, the flame of human desire shall not be extinguished in whatever form that desire directs.

“The patience of lust in infinite” wrote Graham Greene.

Of course, the impulse to sexually abuse children (or anyone) is not simply about lust or sex. It’s very much about power, dominance, violence, and in most if not all cases on the deepest level the distorted re-enactment of early trauma, pain, and humiliation stemming from the banishment (Not Me) of such experiences in the psyche and history of those who perpetrate. Talk about shadow.

There may be no better, and sadder, example than the world-wide Human Trafficking / Sex Trafficking epidemic. It’s well understood that this epidemic is driven by multiple individual and systemic factors, only one of which (although a major one) is Not Me pedophilia-related drives. It seems this Not Me expression is often converted into its opposite by some organized religious circles into an outward cloak of caring for and nurturing children, thereby Not Me-masking the darker impulse and true goings on underneath, and the projection of these Not Me contents onto those who question or threaten to expose the “shadow” of the organization or subculture and the actions of individuals involved. Historically, the Catholic Church’s sexual abuse cover up is prime example.

But I digress. If you’d like to know more about this, check out organizations such as End Slavery TN, and Free for Life International. Because believe it or not, it’s right there in your backyard. I guarantee it. Scary but true. And true liberation and freedom are to be found in the light of truth, not the darkness of denial.

shadow in a the light of today

The progressive spiritual community at large— the SBNR (spiritual but not religious) and universalistically/gnostically-minded in particular seem to be historically and only more so taken with the shadow concept, and with “shadow work.” And that’s a great thing. We all need healing and integration. Our world obviously needs healing. Desperately.

While there are always more than one way to skin a cat, and probably very few decidedly “wrong” or overtly harmful ways of accessing and engaging the disowned parts of ourselves, there is, as I frequently hear, much confusion as to the “how” of doing shadow work.

In others words, for many, it’s too shadowy. In my view, part of why is that the ‘shadow’ concept is kind of lagging behind in a river of somewhat outdated conceptualization, and locked in a mono-mind construct that doesn’t mirror current holistic, integrative, mindbodyspirit, trauma-related understandings, informed by modern neuroscience.

To this end, I offer an updated perspective and pathway. And this comes largely from—you might have guessed it— the philosophy of Polypsychism / Multiplicity of Mind, from which the wonderful, trauma-aware, evidenced-based Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) model was born.

This is of course the view that the mind is naturally mosaic—made up of many “parts” that exist in a psychic constellation surrounding what in IFS is called the Self. Or the Larger Self. The Self is synonymous with the seat of consciousness, the soul if you will; the undamaged spiritual core of who we truly are, marked by such qualities as calmness, curiosity, compassion, courage and creativity.

I view the Self as not only all of the above and more, but as the direct link to Divinity; the Divinity within, if you will. (“As above, so below. As within, so without”).

Distinct from Self, our parts are those split off collections of subpersonalities within the system that had to separate from the Self, and adopt roles and functions to perform to help keep our system safe and protected. What is traditionally thought of as ‘defense mechanisms’ in psychology can be understood through IFS as parts doing what they learned to do.

In IFS, there are three classifications of parts:

Exiles

Mangers (aka protectors)

Firefighters

Exiles are typically thought of as our “lost inner children,” usually the youngest most vulnerable parts carrying the oldest, deepest pain.

Managers are those parts that protect the exiles, keeping them from flooding or overwhelming the Self.

Firefighters are the parts that spring us into extreme action (drinking binge, suicidality, etc) when something—usually an unexpected, frightening external event—occurs that threatens the ability of managers to contain the exiles.

In essence, the more difficult the childhood, the more parts we have, and the more extreme roles some of these parts are performing. The larger goal of IFS, like many forms of healing, is “all parts,” mindbodyspirit integration. Reliving our parts of their burdens, creating harmony where there is division, and helping our parts to adopt new, more updated and functional roles in support of the Larger Self.

shadow part(S)?

“Shadow work is the path of the heart warrior.”
C.G. Jung

From this modern perspective, at root, the ‘shadow’ then could be seen and treated as none other than a collection of parts split off from Self. Through this same lens, the popular concept of Ego could be liberated from the old (Freudian Id-Superego-Ego) construct, with its negative and selfish/self-centered implications, updated and reframed as as a collection of manager/protector parts just doing what know to do to keep us safe.

In other words, part of what we think of as shadow can be seen as exiles carrying the deepest, oldest pain, such as of being shamed, abused, humiliated and of which we are scarcely aware/unconscious. The pain our exiles carry could be considered Bad Me or perhaps in cases Not Me contents. Our manager parts could be seen as fiercely guarding our exiles through behaviors that could be considered Bad Me (defensiveness, judgment, hostile withdrawal, etc), yet they’re also just doing their job the only way they know how. And firefighters that attempt to help by snapping us into the ‘fight-flight’ response could be viewed as enacting impulsive “last resort” distracting, numbing or/or regulating behavior when Bad Me or Not Me-carrying parts threaten to overwhelm the system. Again, just doing their job.

What I love about this reframe and subsequent way of working with “shadow,” is that it normalizes, humanizes and provides a roadmap to helping these parts of us to unburden, heal, and join us (our Larger, Present Day Self) in a harmonious and cooperative effort at aligning with the leadership of our Larger Self, thereby contributing to humanity in pro-social ways.

It also reframes the “dark/shadow-light,” “good-bad,” “us-them” and “conscious/unconscious” polarizations into a more holistic, inclusive, and welcoming reality that we are all inherently multiple, all inherently good, and unified in that all parts of us have positive intent and are trying to do something for us, even if some of those ways are the worst ways imaginable.

In short, it really takes the business of healing and integration out of the shadows.

IFS shows us time and again that all parts are ultimately tired of the roles they’ve been forced into. These roles are adaptations, and not what they’ve ever truly desired to do, or be. Once understood and engaged, and once they feel okay with beginning to trust our Self, they are always amenable to change.

The Multiplicity-based mosaic mind view and the IFS approach offers a modern take on what we call “shadow work” by reframing it as “parts work,” out of the murky depths and into the bright, modern, multiplicitous light of day.

After all, we are both One and Many.

In this sense, it’s not so different or opposed to what the ancients elucidated, as Polypsychism is an ancient shamanic view, or in conflict with what Jung espoused as the larger goal of psychic integration, healing and wholeness.

Full circle.

other paths

Of course, there are sundry other ways to access and integrate all of who we are. Psychedelics— when utilized medicinally, mindfully, and ceremonially, with proper preparation, set and setting, on site guidance, and follow up integration support and exploration—- is one such way that’s clearly on the rise in our current climate of consciousness expansion. Never, ever to be embarked on lightly, one clear risk is skipping over or incomplete preparation work. Among other things, when our protector parts are not checked in with to see how they feel about a medicine journey, they can become overwhelmed by the intensity of the psychedelic experience, especially at high doses. Firefighters fearing exiles may flood the system can be triggered and an otherwise avoidable and unfortunate panic-laden flight/flight response can ensue mid-trip.

This is why IFS-focused sessions are always part of my preparation for my clients embarking on psychedelic journeys, be it ketamine infusion, psilocybin, LSD, ayahuasca ceremony or MDMA-assisted journeying.

Esoteric spiritual/meditational/devotional and supplication practices such as transmutational alchemy, trauma-focused bodywork, breathwork, certain forms of yoga (Kriya, Kundalini) and other somatic accompaniments, and even deep contact with nature all hold the promise of helping us make contact with our deeper mind, our long suppressed pain, and the exiled parts of ourselves.

Practicing radical self-honesty can’t hurt. Regularly, fearlessly looking deeply at how we see ourselves, others and the world. Committing to ‘catching ourselves in the act’ in real time of our projections and judgments compassionately, without judging and shaming ourselves, can take us a long way towards integrating the parts we’ve been historically conditioned to disown/project.

ready to discover and integrate your “shadow?”

If you’re seeking a Nashville Therapist or a Therapist in Franklin TN, if you want something different—a truly integrative and Outside the Box approach to mind body spirit healing and integration— visit me at Therapy Outside the Box for more information about me and the services I offer. Or email me at: chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com or call me directly at 615.430.2778.

Some of my services are available virtually anywhere via Telehealth/Secure Video. Discount multi-session packages are also always available.

“There’s an Outside the Box Solution for Every Problem.”

Peace, Love and “Parts Work”

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Franklin, TN

Prepping for and Integrating Psychedelic Healing

Repost of an article by Synthesis Retreats. If on your own accord you’re interested in pursuing psychedelics as medicine for psychological healing and/or responsible, mindful consciousness expansion, these are generally good suggestions. Especially if you’re new to psychedelics, consider seeking the guidance of a supportive, knowledgeable guide or practitioner. My Support for Extraordinary Experience assessment, exploration and integration subspecialty is specifically designed to assist consciousness explorers, spiritual and other non-ordinary ‘experiencers’ of all varieties. Available via Telehealth virtually the world over, or in person in my Franklin, TN home office. Godspeed.

How To Prepare and Integrate a Psychedelic Experience

Posted on July, 2 2021

Psychedelic journeys are known to be euphoric, challenging, expansive and even ego-dissolving, with the potential to deeply affect the journeyer mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically and environmentally. 

Positive change can take place when you make a commitment to support your own healing, personal growth and transformation. Natasja Pelgrom, Synthesis Wellness Director and Lead Facilitator, says: 

“When undergoing a deep transformative psychedelic experience, it typically requires an extended period of adjustment. Integration is ideally achieved when the experience, its meaning, and its after-effects have been incorporated into one’s life.”

There is no specific formula for preparation and integration because it truly depends on who you are and your intentions for the experience. The tools you choose should be unique to you and the most effective modalities will have likely already sparked your interest, whether you’ve practised them at some point in your life, or they’re a part of your wellness routine. 

It is not uncommon to feel emotionally raw or slightly destabilized after a significant meaningful experience like a psychedelic journey, so it is always wise to allow for plenty of space to let any process unfold at its own pace.  

Which wellness practices do you find nourishing and supportive? Are there any you can imagine would truly benefit you? And what would be a way to get started, and perhaps more importantly, keep at?

While customizing the journey of preparation and integration to your preferences, there are some modalities that are proven to work well for most people, and it is likely there are some included here that will be new to you.

 

Which modalities are shown to support a psychedelic journey?

 

Intention Setting

What do you aspire for in your life? Why would you like to engage in a  psychedelic journey? 

Setting meaningful, clear intentions can help guide the outcome you hope to achieve from your psychedelic journey. Allow yourself the time to bring into focus the ideas that have brought you to the doorstep of change and write down three intentions you’d like to experience as a result of your  psychedelic experience. 

Consider a change you want to create in the next six months that’s not related to a feeling or about someone else. Rather than ‘fixing’, try to focus on what’s attainable in a constructive frame like: “My intention is to love my body.” “My intention is for clarity on my life purpose.” “My intention is to learn how to accept and let go of my past.”

 

Breathwork

Breathwork is the practice of consciously controlling your breath to process emotions or change the state of your body or attitude. The power of breath can help you to anchor yourself during the journey as well as induce a non-ordinary state of consciousness, similar to a psychedelic experience. 

Breathwork can help with transitioning your body from operating within a “fight-flight-freeze” stressed state into total relaxation, infusing the cells of your body with oxygen to help you reduce the physical stress response in your body, experience true surrender, and heal the emotional turbulence stored in your being. 

How? We recommend joining a workshop, finding a trained breathwork instructor or watching safe videos to practice and learn more about how breathwork can influence your mental, emotional or physical state.

 

Journaling

The practice of ‘freewriting’ with a pen on paper can help you release unresourceful thoughts and feelings you’re holding and improve your mental well-being, help make sense of your life, gain clarity on who you are and where you’re going and give you a private space for self-expression.

How? Prompts or questions can help you deep dive. Remember to leave judgement at the door and simply let your thoughts flow onto the pages. Authenticity is key. 

To integrate your journey, write down what you remember from the experience. We suggest journaling after the experience by using first person, present tense perspective. For example: ‘I close my eyes and see a whirlwind of color and patterns.’ This increases recall and supports you to remain open to the experience itself, instead of blending in second-tier meaning-making. Unravel the visual metaphors of symbols and memories that might have appeared and see what gems of wisdom appear.

 

Talking With A Trained Psychedelic Practitioner

Speaking with a trained Psychedelic Practitioner is one of the most effective ways to catalyze lasting change. A guide can help you feel comfortable and safe before the journey, giving you flight instructions and guidance. 

To integrate, it’s highly beneficial to share what happened in your psychedelic journey with a trustworthy, compassionate and experienced practitioner, facilitator, coach or therapist to profoundly help you to make sense of the contents of your journey, and unravel what the meanings signify for you personally, and how you can leverage those things to create positive change in your life now. James Clifton, Lead Facilitator at Synthesis says,

“If we are encouraged and supported in safe ways with ethically-minded guides, we can start to reveal, integrate and embrace hidden parts of ourselves.”

How? Transpersonal psychotherapy, shamanic work, a vision quest, working with archetypes and shadow work are all good areas to explore within sessions. You can find trusted Psychedelic Practitioners on psychedelic.support.

 

Sharing Circles And Group Calls

There’s a powerful sense of being witnessed and feeling seen and heard when you speak from the heart and listen with attention in a group sharing circle. By listening to other experiences, it helps you to increase your connection with others and recognize how everyone has their personal struggles and stories which can be moving and encouraging for you. This is a key part of our group psychedelic retreats where the role of ‘Communitas’ has been found to have beneficial effects on well-being. It is important to be able to safely express any old patterns and new awakenings, without fear of consequence or judgment. Being accepted as the “whole you”, with all your old baggage and new aspirations, is a critical step towards integrating your psychedelic experience.

How? You can find sharing cycles by google searching for ‘psychedelic society of *add your location*’.


Create An Action Plan

People often approach psychedelics thinking they will change their whole world. For some people, that’s the case. Yet, often the revelations fade. If you outline the habits you wish to change, with a timeline giving yourself goals to achieve, you’re a lot more likely to hold yourself accountable. 

Breaking down big plans into small steps makes it easier to decide to engage in your practice when you need it most. It is this commitment to self-care that is essential to cultivate, before and after any psychedelic experience. As some teachers say, “Your whole life is in preparation for the next ceremony.” Making sure you are resourced and practiced in resilience, your nervous system can relax and trust that you can handle whatever comes next in life.

What are you going to do to create the changes you’re wanting, whether it’s a new career path or a relationship? Write down ambitions for new routines and practices. Identify what you want with friends and people you trust. Change can happen if you continuously take small steps and walk in the direction of your goals. When you define what you aspire to, make commitments to yourself and accept whatever feelings might arise, you are realistically more likely to make a change. 

Daan Keiman, Synthesis Director of Ethics and Lead Facilitator suggests a balanced approach: 

“An action plan can work great, but very often psychedelics are nonlinear. Be mindful that sometimes a psychedelic experience is showing that you should get out of your comfort zone, and life can't be planned. Strike the right balance between listening to what you need in the moment and sticking to your plan.”

 

Movement, Bodywork And Somatics

We are often programmed to think of our physical and emotional well-being, our body and our mind, as two separate things. However, we need nourishment as a whole, complex being. Intentional bodywork throughout your preparation and integration work will help you embody your experience, move through some trauma that you may have stored in different parts of your nervous system and feel more connected with yourself.

Bodywork, especially after a psychedelic journey, can connect us to our whole body when we usually ‘live’ in our heads. Movement, when done with attention, can facilitate profound self-awareness and activate our inner-healing intelligence, improving mental, physical, and spiritual health.

How? Activities like yoga, dancing freely, ecstatic dance, five rhythms, float tank, chi kung, martial arts, stretching, walks in nature, clinical somatics.

 

Meditation

Many contemplative traditions such as silently meditating have been shown to have some similarities with a psychedelic experience, specifically related to quieting our minds, and “interrupting the interrupter”, so our most newly evolved structures of the brain won’t interfere with deeper somatic processes. Various types of meditation can support your journey, from mindfulness meditation and buddhist practices, like loving kindness and awareness, to guided visualisations.

How? We recommend finding a space in your home that you dedicate to meditation. If you’d like some support with guided meditation, Insight Timer and Headspace are tried-and-tested apps that we recommend. Read about how psychedelics boost mindfulness here, and ten mindfulness tips to boost your well-being here.

 

Walk In Nature

Deepening your connection with nature can have profound effects on your well-being, and psychedelics are known to enhance that feeling of connectedness with the fabric of life that surrounds us. We are made to sense with every part of our body. And if you don’t use it… well, you lose it.

Whether you enjoy spending time near rivers, beaches, forests, mountains or in local parks, strengthening our relationship with our natural environment can help us manage negative emotions and cultivate a spirit of care and commitment for our well-being, and the health of the whole planet. Our aliveness is deeply tied to being in a world that is alive around us.

How? Why not block time every day for a walk in your local park, or plan time to go for a hike in your local natural park? Maybe you want to learn more about environmental issues, or volunteer with environmental groups. Growing and caring for your own house plants or garden is also where many people feel happy. There are so many ways to increase your connection to nature. You can read more about how psychedelics increase our connection to nature here.

 

Listen To Music

Music can have deeply healing effects on your brain, sonically influencing your emotions and even your physiology. Aristotle wondered, “Why does music, being just sounds, remind us of the states of our soul?” Music is a powerful tool to help guide participants through the peaks and valleys of psychedelic states, and can play a central role in a participant’s journey. 

How? Listening to music that’s meaningful for you, can lift your mood, carry you through some deep emotions and give you hope. Deep resonance has a cathartic effect, and helps the nervous system to “reset” and let go of any past patterns. Whether you love singing bowls, binaural beats or soothing sounds, or psychedelic rock, soul or folk, actively listening to music can be moving in many ways. Curate a playlist of music that makes your heart sing, and lie down and listen to it. Learn about the power of music in psychedelic journeys here.

 

Creative Expression

Psychedelics are known to boost creativity and divergent thinking. Many forms of creative expression can give us freedom to explore our human experience in a way that sways from the cognitive skills we tend to favour. 

How? Making art, crafting, creative cooking, singing, playing an instrument, dancing, decorating your home, the list is endless. Learn more about how psychedelics affect your creative thinking here.

To conclude, we encourage you to dedicate time to practices that you enjoy and find both rewarding and healing in support of your journey with psychedelics. Often, just being present with yourself is the greatest gift we can receive. And remember, this is a life-long process of exploration, as the quote by the transcendentalist Ralph Waldo Emerson reminds us, “Life is a journey, not a destination.” 

Dark Night of the...Ego?

The concept of the Dark Night of the Soul was first written about by 16th Century Spanish Catholic priest, mystic, and a Carmelite friar of converso origin St. John of the Cross. And St. Teresa of Avila wrote of her own harrowing experience extensively in “The Interior Castle.” More recently, author Thomas Moore and others have written about this existential wilderness/spiritual despair rite-of-passage experience.

A true Dark Night of the Soul is a trial like no other. In it’s most acute moments, it can feel like madness. In essence, it is a madness. Albeit, a particular form and flavor—distinct from what’s ordinarily associated with schizophrenia or other unspecified psychosis, which may or may not contain spiritual preoccupations and/or delusions, but is not spiritually inspired/directed in the way a true Dark Night of the Soul is considered to be.

Maddening as it is, on the upside, it becomes a great light as The Divine shatters our attempts to control our own spiritual life— arguably, the central ‘problem’ that this experience aims to address.

But, is it truly a Dark night of the Soul?

leggo my ego

While probably aptly named given the times and context in which St. John and St. Teresa lived and suffered— long before the advent of anything much resembling psychology— the term itself has been declared a misnomer, and re-designated by some as Dark Night of the Ego.

Why ego?

Well, even the original mystics saw the phenomenon as an attempt by the Divine to break through our self-imposed suffering/darkness via the shackles of the control-hungry lower self (arguably synonymous with the more modern conception of ego) to let the light of Higher Self/Truth shine through, first bringing us to our proverbial or literal knees to elicit a thorough surrender, and thus, initiate our highest union with God.

I both agree and disagree with the reframe. And this is reasonable and reconcilable in my view as we’re in the land of paradox whenever we attempt to codify mystical or spiritual experiences containing largely ineffable phenomena that words often fail to capture. And in which the ‘truth’ of what’s being experienced is both highly subjective and very often a quantum both/and rather than this /or/ that.

The part of me that agrees with the Dark Night of the Ego conception is the part of me that believes to my core that our soul, as it were, is fine. No matter what. Always fine. Here I’m meaning the soul as synonymous with our spirit, our Higher Self or Larger Self, and even inextricably linked to the Oversoul and/or Cosmic Consciousness.

In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, the multiplicity of mind-oriented model that’s the primordial roux of my view of the psyche, and well as the fundamental premise of my Subconscious Heal and Release® Energy Psychology process, this multiplicity, or polypsychism, is the implicit operating assumption.

IFS views the Larger Self (or just Self) the enduring, eternal, undamaged core of who we are, despite even the most devastating trauma or pain we may have endured. In this model, ‘parts” of us—subpersonalities— hold the pain, manage and protect the pain, as distinct from Self. Parts can become polarized, perform extreme functions, and become highly disharmonized with each other. But the Self remains pure and whole as it always was.

So from this standpoint, even amidst the deepest well of darkness, the soul, spirit, or Larger Self, remains perfectly intact.

The part of me that wants to disagree with the reframe is the part that respects the ancient mystics and sees reverence in the original designation that flowed from such intense spiritual despair, forsakenness and suffering as being essentially a battle for our soul and triumph over lower nature, ego, and/or what dark forces may archetypally, generationally/ancestrally, culturally or even interdimensionally conspire to shroud us in the darkness, ever-far from the Light of The Divine-based “leveling up” that our soul/spirit yearns for.

What’s more, when the Dark Night enters, all of us is effected. All of us is involved, one way or another. Our soul, our Larger Self may in fact, be fine. But it’s not separate from the rest, so it must be, in some way, going through it with us.

In the end, as with everything in the realm of the Mysterium Tremendum, such distinctions are probably ultimately meaningless. So there’s that :>

spiritual Emergency

Worth mentioning is the related experience of what in the 80’s was termed Spiritual Emergency by the pioneering transpersonal psychiatrist Stanislov Grof. A more modern conception, spiritual emergency is in some sense the inversion of a Dark Night, as it’s a psycho-spiritual phenomenon that usually begins with an energetic upsurge, with or without kundalini activation, or what’s been termed “transpersonal elation.” There’s a sense of energy center activation, expansion, heightened perception and spiritual vision or understanding that can be as pleasant as a bi-polar manic phase, and just as dangerous if experienced in the absence of discernment, solid navigation skills, and grounding. Darkness can and usually does enter the fold, but that often comes mid-way or later through the process when the “emergency” portion begins to give way to “emergence.” (If and when it doesn’t, it may be an indication of more mental health/psychological crisis than psycho-spiritual emergence. But that’s a whole ‘nother post).

There are some modern spiritual teachers who liken spiritual emergencies to nothing more than “the ego throwing a tantrum.” That may be itself, ironically, an ego-based perspective. Because, who can truly know what another’s experience is or is not? Whether this definition is received as dismissive, humorous, partially or fully accurate, or a total unappreciation or misunderstanding of complicated dynamics, that’s up to each us to determine, I suppose. I think there’s something to this characterization, a grain of truth perhaps. Certainly there’s value in considering the ways in which the egoic mind can become rather tenacious when it senses an emerging loss of control. But it’s a rather narrow definition, at least. Hard to argue that.

my own rodeo

As I’ve shared about here and discussed at length on some podcasts which can be found here, my own whirlwind Dark Night was a fucking doozy. Looking back, I can relate to the ego tantrum aspect. My ego attempted to steer me way wrong, for sure. Away from that which would see the journey through in the best and healthiest of ways. In other phases, it felt like my soul was fracturing; hanging on for dear life as pain raged forth and inexplicable confusion and despair took over.

Yet deep down, all the while there was a knowing that my essence—call it soul, spirit, Higher or Larger Self, was actually fine; that there was a multi-level breaking down and restructuring was taking place, akin to the ‘psychic dismemberment’ experience that’s part and parcel of the so-called shamanic illness.

Surrendering and supplicating daily, meditating through the pain, taking insanely long walks in the woods and many other supports carried me through. Ultimately, direct intervention from palpable spiritual forces came to answer my call. Darkness slowly evaporated. Hope, intense gratitude and an entirely new leg of the journey began. One, in my case, was marked by the receiving of unexpected spiritual gifts (claircognizance/clairsentience), regular communion with various multidimensional energies, masters, saints, sages and collectives, and other awe-inspiring unfoldings. Many of which are still, years later, in progress.

To what end, I truly don’t yet know. I may never. But my faith has never been stronger.

There are universal and idiosyncratic personal elements to every crisis, including the Dark Night. (“That which is most personal is most universal”). There are the aspects, usually on the mood dysregulation/emotional/mental health level that everyone who finds themselves in this particular wilderness will encounter. Yet we all go through these waves our own way, too. We respond from our own conditioning, our past trauma, from our innate resilience level, our character structure and level of spiritual advancement at the time. Then there are the uniquely personal elements of the spiritual/existential portion of the crisis/rite of passage that’s as unpredictable as varied as anything.

One thing I know, from professional and personal experience, is that any darkness, including that which qualifies as a Dark Night, responds well to consistent, fervent prayer/affirmations/decrees, faith, patience, trust, hope, community and qualified professional support.

It takes a village, which often necessitates the guidance of an experienced professional to get through it and integrate it properly. This is specifically what I offer via Spiritual Support through the psycho-spiritual assessment, exploration and integration specialty I call Support for Extraordinary Experience® (SEE).

Assistance is available

If you or someone you know is experiencing a spiritual or spiritually-themed existential crisis, spiritual emergency/emergence process or bona fide Dark Night, I have years of experience seeing people through the rough waters, recognizing and integrating the often remarkable gifts that flow from successful navigation. I’m a member of the Association for Spiritual Integrity, the American Center for the Integration of Spiritually Transformative Experiences and other professional organizations and communities that exist to help support people through the entire range of mystical, non-ordinary or otherwise potentially spiritually transformative experiences.

If you’re looking for a spiritually aware and qualified Nashville Therapist or Therapist in Franklin TN, visit me at: Therapy Outside the Box or email me at chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com or call me at 615.430.2778.

I’m also available for consultation the world over virtually via Telehealth/Video.

If we are “aligned” according to spirit/my higher guidance to do so, it would be my honor to assist you!

PAX,

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Franklin, TN

Somatic IFS + Higher Guidance = MAGIC

The traditional wisdom in the psychotherapy world is that real change is generally slow going. “Ah ha!” moments, and shifts of all kinds small and large can and do happen. And sometimes wild, even mystically-flavored breakthroughs can come about at any time. But generally, for any human struggle with legs, tangible progress in therapy is considered a slow and steady wins the race-type journey. And a mostly unpredictable one at that, no matter what type or what methods are being applied. And there’s real truth in this. Because, as hungry and ready for change as we might be, we all have parts of us that are wary of it, that fear it; that resist the unknow.

All of us, period. Full stop.

My experience has also shown me time and again that the more urgency to change we have, the more severe the resistance there is lurking in the shadows, ready and waiting to sabotage that change.

Because parts of us have agendas, while for the most part, the Self does not.

Paradox.

IFS Paradigm Shift

This is where the Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy model is, in my view, a real gift. Because change can happen much faster in the internal world than the outer. In other words, just talking about our problems, talking about change, or engaging cognitive-only interventions…versus taping and utilizing the body-based knowing, going within and making direct access to the very parts of us that hold the story— the truth of the pain— and working with those parts to safely release those burdens? No contest.

Flowing from the philosophy of Multiplicity of Mind, IFS presupposes that parts with various beliefs, agendas and ideas of their own exist in all of us. IFS normalizes and safely introduces us to our internal parts, or ‘subpersonalities’ in ways we haven’t known before. From a position of acceptance (the prerequisite of all true change), curiosity and compassion, we turn inward with a reverential attitude, welcoming ALL parts of us— from the youngest, most vulnerable carrying the deepest pain, to the potentially most aggressive, punchy, hypervigilant parts hell bent on protecting us, even in the most self destructive of ways.

There are no problems in living that cannot be addressed using the IFS approach. PTSD, childhood emotional traumas, depression, anxiety, codependency, addictions, intimacy blocks, shame, low esteem, abundance barriers, you name it. Because these syndromes are understood as parts of us with a story, either carrying the pain of trauma, managing and protecting those parts, or parts whose function it is to sound the alarms when the most vulnerable parts threaten to flood the Self System.

When IFS is mindfully and intentionally approached with a heightened somatic awareness, it’s even more potent, more alive, and potentially even faster. Faster in that the deeper, more visceral the felt-sense experience of meeting our parts in an embodied way, the sooner we can get into the real meat and potatoes of what the approach is about: the unburdening of our “exiles” (generally our youngest “inner child” parts holding the deepest pain), relieving them of their original “burdens” (a combination of emotional pain and extreme beliefs), helping them to adopt new, updated functions to play in the Self system, increasing harmony amongst our parts, and ultimately freeing up additional “Self Energy.”

To become more and more “Self” led is the true penultimate goal from the IFS perspective. The Self being defined as the true essence of who we are— the larger, undamaged, infinitely whole Self, characterized by what its creator, Dr. Richard Schwartz calls the 8c’s:

Compassion, Calm, Curiosity, Clarity, Confidence, Compassion, Creativity, and Connectedness.

(When’s the last time you felt any of these?)

In short, when we feel and act from any of these states or qualities, we know we are in our Self. We are Self led. Anything else, we can be sure there’s a part (anger, fear, disgust, etc) in the driver seat.

There’s also Dr. Charles Bonner’s nice addition: The 5P’s:

Playfulness, Patience, Presence, Perspective and Persistence.

(When’s the last time you felt any of THESE?)

There’s so much more to IFS, notably the relational component of how it’s conducted, which places great emphasis on the therapists being acutely somatically aware and inhabiting their own Larger Self during the process. Being originally trained as an interpersonal/relational therapist, this is part (no pun intended) of why I took to IFS so swiftly once I became aware of it, back in 2006 or so.

It’s inherently a two-person, relational therapy.

somatic (i.e. soma--the body)

I’ve been familiarizing myself with the many creative offshoots of IFS, notably Susan McConnel’s Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy: Awareness, Breath, Resonance, Movement and Touch in Practice. This prolific author and practitioner beautifully expounds upon and enriches IFS to include a multi-dimensional embodied, and acutely trauma-aware approach that leaves virtually no stone unturned as far as what’s possible with this model at the root.

The term somatic, hardly new, has become increasingly associated with trauma. Especially as recent neuroscience advances have led to more and more ‘trauma-informed’ therapy models, somatic and trauma have become intertwined, for better or worse. Better because awareness has increased in the pubic consciousness as to the prevalence of trauma and its effects on us individually and collectively. Worse, perhaps, because there emerges a tendency to view nearly every human expression, habit, pattern, or quirk of behavior as a trauma response.

(Spend enough time on Instagram, you’ll see what I mean).

While there are countless ways and methods of addressing and healing our little t or big T traumas in a therapeutic context, always more than one way to skin a cat. And while no one method or approach speaks to all, the theoretical basis of IFS is so inherently simple and intuitive there’s hardly a child that cannot understand its implicit assumptions. I mean, who doesn’t understand, and who hasn’t thought or said:

“There’s a part of me that…”

And we all have a body, right? So with the addition of an intentional, mindful somatic emphasis to an already relational and highly intuitive therapy approach, you might think, how could it get any better?

enter higher guidance

As I’ve revealed and described elsewhere on this site, I ‘came online’ with a direct connection to higher guidance via non local consciousness and my ‘spirit team,’ so to speak, out of a proufound Dark Night of the Soul/Awakening phenomenon a few years back. I’m still integrating and seeing through the ongoing spiritual emergence, near daily sub/superconscious-level downloading, and ostensible ongoing initiation/preparation for some kind of multidimensional channeling that’s flowed from this experience. Or so it seems.

This guidance, that comes through most automatically as a binary YES/NO via involuntary head movement, like an auto-kinesiological muscle testing, along with occasional quiet bursts of intangible insight, mental, quasi-visual impressions, and even more occasional blasts of ‘inner vision,” qualifies I suppose as a kind of claircognizance/clairsentience.

This capacity, not without it’s challenges, is my main weapon (for peaceful purposes) in the Energy Healing method I’ve named Subconscious Heal and Release® —a somatic, energy psychology and solution-focused approach to quickly identify, heal and release the ‘energetic signatures’ of subconsciously-held traumas, limiting beliefs, and trapped emotional energies that keep us out of alignment with our goals and dreams.

However, as part of my general therapy arm— Integrative Counseling— I’ve been experimenting, with great success, with applying this higher guidance to intuitively direct the process of my Internal Family Systems work.

And it’s kinda fucking magical.

To have the privilege of utilizing this access to the ‘Cosmic Reservoir’ (As William James called it) that contains all the information that ever existed/exists, and bring that through in the service of guiding healing, embodiment, unburdening of pain and outdated beliefs, creating harmony amongst parts, and aligning with Higher/Larger Self…what beats that?

Not much, if you ask this therapist.

curious? ready to heal?

If you’re looking for a Somatic Therapy experience, or have wanted to test drive Internal Family Systems Therapy, or just seeking a Nashville Therapist or a Therapist in Franklin and want to learn more about what I offer, visit my website at Therapy Outside the Box or email me at chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com or call me at 615.430.2778 to set up a FREE 20 MIN PHONE CONSULT.

I also have some services available virtually the world over via Telehealth/Video.

Peace, Parts, and Embodiment—

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Franklin, TN